


A Light in the Darkness

by Butterflyfish



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Awkward Daryl, F/M, Filthy, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Hurt Daryl, Insecure Daryl, Walkers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-03-23 09:46:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 61,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3763495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterflyfish/pseuds/Butterflyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post mid Season 5, Original characters - some canon</p><p>Daryl folded back into himself after Beth's death. Could a newcomer bring him back out of his hard impenetrable shell?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Newcomer

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a bored 30 year old's Daryl Fantasy, so the smut kicks in quite early... but it developed further than I expected.  
> Been working on this for quite some time and never published Fic before, so please be kind :) 
> 
> Open to prompts if you have any, Work still in progress - I have a few chapters already written 
> 
> Thanks for reading :D

_He dropped to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably._

_He lay Beth on the floor, noticed Maggie crumble in front of him. She needed to be put down. He had to be the one. He had to do it. Maggie should, but she couldn't._

_Could he?_

_Beth was dead._

_All hope was gone._

 

 

 

She wasn't his normal type.

Yes, she was sexy, but it was subtle. Men noticed, women didn't. It saved her from jealousy, but she knew what she wanted and how to get it.

Apparently now she wanted him.

 _'Don' be so surprised, Darylina. You's a good guy really'_ He pushed Merle's voice away. He wouldn't shut up recently.

She threw her head back and laughed heartily, again softly touching his bicep. It felt good to hear laughter. He'd never admit it to the others, but a bit of normality, the old normal, was welcome.

 

"I'll be honest, your English accent is shocking"

She came from the UK a few years before it all went to Hell in a hand-basket, "Moved here for the American Dream" she joked, but offered nothing else. Her accent should have made Daryl sick, but the soft melody of her voice betrayed that preconception. "Found myself in 'Dantes Inferno' instead. Zombies! hahaha who would have thought it would finally come down to Zombies?" 

 

Daryl had found her in the woods a week before. She was following them.

This 'hunter, Forager' as she later claimed to be was not as good as he was. She had potential though.

She moved with a grace he'd never seen before. She was beautiful, sexy. Even in grubby clothes and with greasy hair, she just had a way about her. He found himself watching her move for hours before realising the day had darkened and night was drawing close. He made his way home feeling like a creep.

 _'You are a creep, It's the Dixon in ya boy!'_ Merle again. God damned Merle.

 

She camped nearby, but far enough away that the others didn't know that she was there. Daryl had caught Carol looking around now and then, but it could have been the threat of being in the woods, exposed. The whole group were on edge.

 

In the end he realized she was decent enough a hunter to help them. The way she hunted was different to his, but she coped, she ate almost every night. He mentioned her to Rick, and Rick agreed to meet her.

"Morale and numbers are low" Rick explained. Having someone new might open everyone up to hope again.

Daryl didn't know about that. Not since Beth

Dear, sweet Beth.

 

Still, he had to convince this girl to go with him.

 

It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. One morning, after following her for over 2 hours he had stopped to rest. She hadn't, but he knew he could catch up.

Sat by a tree he thought how he might approach her. He could just grab her kicking and screaming, but that brought the governor back to his mind and he shuddered. He needed her to trust him, he smiled 'trustworthy as I am' he thought.

His musings were cut short by a scream behind him. He grabbed his crossbow and jumped up without a second thought.

He ran in the direction of the noise and soon found her, she was on the floor being wrestled by a walker, another was on the stick she carried, pierced but still moving. He tackled the one on top of her first, knifed it through the back of the head. It fell heavily. Then he stabbed the one on her spear. Aside from her choking, gagging, sounds, all was suddenly calm.

She pushed the creature on top of her off and heaved.

"Are ya bit?" He asked her, she didn't answer straight away, she was pulling her spear out of the second walker. Daryl approached her and raised his crossbow "Talkin' to you, girl. Are ya bit?" She eyeballed him a moment before replying

"No. I think I twisted my ankle when that one fell on top of me" she was British. Daryl was surprised but tried not to show it. Meanwhile, she proceeded to kick the head off the walker that was on top of her. "huh. Maybe it's not so bad afterall" she mused, mostly to herself.

"We need to move. All your noise is going to bring more of them outta the trees" She looked at him, shrugged, and gestured for him to lead, but as he did he heard her catch her breath. He turned, she was in pain "Damn girl. You gonna hold me up all day" he went back to her and she slung her arm around his shoulders as he reached around her waist. They shared a moment of eye contact, but Daryl looked ahead again.

"Thank you" she said, as they hobbled forward through the undergrowth. He didn't reply, just aimed to get them back to camp before dark, and not be drawn in to those beautiful green eyes again. 

"I'm Alex" she offered after half an hour of strained silence. "And I know you've been following me" she added. Daryl didn't answer. A man of few words. She looked at his profile as he faced ahead. He was so handsome, but then, hadn't she always thought so?

It wasn't until they got to his camp that she learned his name was Daryl, and only because someone else had called to him.

 

And now here she was. Days later in front of a fading fire, the moon beginning to dip low in the sky, they were the only two awake.

She stared at him over the embers, making him slightly uncomfortable. She was going to want to talk about feelings or the stars or some crap.

"what?" she narrowed her eyes at him, "What?!" her persisted more forcefully. She got up. He watched her carefully, physically leaning away. The last thing he wanted to do right now was get too involved. Stupid bitch was bound to get herself killed at some point, anyway, and there was more stuff to be thinking of than romance. 

_'Romance, boy, ya've changed Darylina, come on nah girlie girl, she wanna sit on ya face you go ahead and let 'er'_

She sat beside him and put a soft gentle hand on his shoulder. It didn't feel like the hand of a hunter, shooter, forager, as she still claimed to be.

"Oooh so tense and closed" she mocked "Big, tough guy, Daryl, don't you want to sit under the stars and talk about your Feeeeeelings?" he had to bite his lip to keep from  to keep from laughing. How did she change his mood that way? "Come on" she stood, holding her hand down to him. "Let's loosen you up, huh?" Astounded Daryl glared at her. So forward, so unexpected. He made a point of getting up without her help. She pursed her lips in a silent whistle. "ooh, aren't you just hard as nails..." she lowered her head and looked up at him though her hair. An innocent look, completely betrayed by her following words. "Come with me and I'll turn you to jelly"

He had no choice. He had to hold her to this.

 

He followed her into the woods a little way, her ass swaying, walking confidently despite the late hour and unknown surroundings. When she stopped, so mesmerized was he that he almost bumped right in to her

"Woah cowboy" she mocked "so eager all of a sudden" She stepped back and looked him up and down slowly. "OK" she said at last, letting him shift uncomfortably from foot to foot for a few moments. "let's get you, a ha, loosened up" he liked the way she put it "Take off your jeans" she ordered.

"Excuse me?" Women didn't come on to him. They steered clear. Maybe that was down to Merle. Maybe this girl wasn't like other girls.

Hell the world was different now and he thought he understood it better. "Dude! come on. Take your fucking jeans off" Something stirred in him. Aggression? Really? That's what does it for him these days? He tried to push memories of his childhood away but was he really surprised? His cock stirred a little, and he unbuckled his belt. She sighed and huffed at him. "Jesus, Daryl, do I have to do it?" She grabbed either side of his now unbuckled belt from his hands and pulled him harshly towards her. He stumbled, almost lost his footing. This woman was turning him into a wreck.

She slid her finger tips into the waistband, and unbuttoned him expertly. Sharp swift movements and his zipper was also down, his jeans hanging at his knees. She was kneeling in the mud in front of him, eyeing his crotch hungrily. She looked up at him, and despite himself, a moan escaped his lips. "Let's get you loosened up, big guy" she ran a hand over the front of his growing package and elicited her own groan of anticipation. "Oh yeah, so tense" As she eased him out of his underwear he leaned his head skyward and closed his eyes.

She took the tip of him to her lips and then took both his hands in hers, roughly shoving them to the back of her head, raking his fingers into her long locks and ensured he understood.

Rough, he thought, she likes it rough. The thought alone got him practically seeping and he abided, grabbing her hair and thrusting himself into her mouth.

"Holy Fuck" he whispered as his rick solid mass hit the back of her throat over and over again. She was giggling. Giggling around his cock as he thrust in to her, losing his initial inhibitions and now thinking of nothing but her warm wet mouth and getting the job done. He'd never had a blowy like it, but regardless of how good she was there was always that point of no return...

She stopped

It took him a moment to come back to himself. She was grinning up at him. Panting, feeling a little lost, he looked down at her upturned face

"Really, girl? You stop half way through every job you do?" She shook her head

"No, but this isn't just about you" She stood up and began to remove her own belt "I haven't had sex in a long time, this wont take long. I didn't want to be waiting around for you to finish" He eyed her steadily

"darlin', this was never gonna be no long romantic love making session" She didn't offer a reply other than

"Lie down" he obliged, still half panting, cock pulsating with his elevated heart rate. He gave up trying to figure her out. He hadn't had a good fuck in some time. She climbed on top of him, lick her lips and sighed before easing his length into her. They grunted in unison, her at the length and girth of him, he at the tight wetness of her.

She ground away on top of him, trying to keep quiet in the still night, he looked at her, she closed her eyes rested those amazingly soft hands on his chest, and appeared to lose herself in the rhythm. As he watched she stopped moving and grabbed the front of his tshirt and pulled him into a sitting position, moving one hand to the back of his head. He knew what was coming and obliged to kiss her. A hard firm kiss as she began to grind again, moaning into his mouth. He felt a familiar twinge and she pulled her tongue from him and stopped again.

"No" she said breathlessly "Wait." she let his head and tshirt go and leaned her chest away from him, thrusting once more, harder now.. He wanted to hold on wanted to experience her orgasm with her, he wasn't sure he could hold out much longer. 

But then she threw her hair back and began to moan uncontrollably. He hissed through his teeth at her, wanting her to keep quiet, but having lost his own inhibitions he felt another twinge and her warm wet pussy squeezed around him.

"Yes," she whispered "now, come with me you fucking Cu...ugh" her sentence mumbled off into moans again as he felt her thighs quiver around him. He matched her thrusting and then they were coming, in unison, through gritted teeth.

As they caught their breath she sat up again, pulled Daryl close, and hugged him. He resisted just a moment before hugging her back. Hard, tight, encircling her with his big muscly arms.

She made a noise, softly now, a hum of satisfaction, and he couldn't help but smile. This, cuddling, felt good. 

"We can't stay here" she whispered into his ear "As much as I would love to, it's not safe" They pulled apart and dressed themselves. The gravity of the situation hung over them, the noise, the smells, surely if they were close by, Walkers would come. As they headed back to camp, they didn't speak, both listening for danger.

 

The fire had died to nothing and the sun was beginning to light the sky in front of them. She turned to him, smiled shyly, and kissed his cheek softly

"Goodnight, Daryl" she said, turning on her heel and walking swiftly away from him to her tent.  He stood a moment, watching after her, before turning to his own bed.

 

 


	2. Fight or flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Daryl come to loggerheads, their chemistry getting the better of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, more smut. It gets better I promise
> 
> Thank you for reading

It was no more than 3 hours later he was woken by the sound and smell of breakfast. 'Coffee?' He thought he might be dreaming, or wishful thinking. He had to investigate, climbing from his bed slowly. He must have slept heavier than he had in sometime, he almost felt refreshed. Alex was laying out old tin cans, jars, and tin cups in a neat line.

"I don't have enough cups for everyone. Will the jars and cans do?" She looked up and to her left. "They're clean" there was a feminine chuckle.

"Sweetheart, we're not in England anymore." Carol. Warm motherly Carol. He smiled as she continued "Hell we're not in civilisation anymore. You'd drink out of a muddy puddle if you were thirsty enough" Alex wrinkled her nose, about to scoff, when she turned sharply, pulling out her sharpened stick and holding it over her head.

"Daryl!" She lowered her weapon "Bloody hell, I nearly took your head off" Daryl didn't flinch.

"If I was gone kill you, I'd've done it by now" he put on an English accent "No Jeeves to save you here, Princess" Alex was not amused, but Carol was holding back a smirk.

"Oh, Fuck off" Alex waved a hand at him. "Honestly, I come here, I bring coffee and other things, and you can't help but be mean." She honestly looked put out Carol scowled at him and took the new comer by the arm

"You can't be too sensitive now, Alex. We don't have time for emotions and childish rows over nothing" but Daryl was sure Carol had got it all wrong. After last night, Alex proved she was no time waster. She can't be as hurt as she was making out.

"Carol, I'm fine. British sense of humour, I guess. I'm not going to cry over bad accents." She looked back at Daryl "Awful accents, actually." She almost stuck her tongue out at him, almost. But how would that be taken? Culture here, what was left of social civilisation, was very different to back home in England. Everyone so damned serious. Sure it's the apocalypse, but a bit of light-heartedness never hurt anyone.

 

The group she had entered into, stumbled across three weeks ago, followed for a week, and then got practically carried in to by he of the mighty biceps, appeared close knit, a family of bedraggled drifters, working out how to get in had been a long process. Ruined of course. But still she wasn't one to try and fit in, but she needed to. She'd almost forgotten her own name wandering through woods alone for so long.

They had asked her:

"How many walkers have you killed" she'd lost count. Told them so. "How many humans?" she didn't want to answer that, not at first. She was somehow ashamed that her original group had buckled under the pressure, where these guys had lasted, appeared to have managed. Sure they all must have their demons, it was written in their eyes, but still, they'd coped.

"15" she had answered eventually "a few stragglers looking for war in the beginning, and then, later, my crew fell apart. We were thirsty, it was hot, and everyone just got so angry and bitter." She had sighed at Rick. "I didn't want to have to kill them." She knew her eyes would be glistening, but she wasn't going to cry "you have to know that. They were my friends, all I have left in the world and they turned to shit. Turned on ME." She looked at the floor and frustratedly wiped at her face. "I don't go around just killing people. Live people. But I was cornered and threatened. And.. They had to go. They were no good for this new world."

"You could have run"

"Run? Run away? You don't 'run' from people like that. You can't leave them alive to just carry on existing and taking this particular shit storm of a situation to their advantage so they can stumble across hapless young women. I couldn't run. I couldn't let them continue with their rape and pillage just because 'men have needs' and willing women are few and far between." She shook her head. Rick's eyes and face were steady, serious. None of this affected him as it would have in the old world. "I know I'm a stranger, I've been a stranger here for years, so I know. I know you have to look out for your people, your kids, I wouldn't have done it if there was any other choice, you've got to understand. I had to be judge, jury and executioner in one." She refused to let the single tear that over spilled distract her. Didn't wipe it away. Rick looked at her for a long time before Daryl piped up

"I believe her" she didn't look from Rick's hard gaze. His blue eyes boring into her as if trying to probe her real memories of the situation. But at the moment she was more thankful of Daryl than she had been when he saved her life. His simple words, among the relative few they had spoken, lifted the heavy feeling of hopelessness in her belly.

"Many people have come and pretended and lied." Rick said quietly "men, and women. We've been betrayed by our own as well as outsiders" he licked his lips, "we don't need you. You need us." She nodded.

"I just need company." She admitted "I almost forgot who I am out there. I'll be honest with you, Rick Grimes. I'm lonely, and I'm scared, and I want to have someone watching my back. I'm tired. I haven't slept, not really slept, in over a year because there is no one there to share watch shifts with. Yes." She straightened "I need you more than the other way around, but I can hunt, I can fight, I will not hinder you" At that, Rick had also straightened. His gaze softened. He held out his hand, and she knew the relief was all over her face, hated herself for it. They shook, and suddenly the camp was buzzing. The feeling of baited breath and all eyes on her lifted.

She shuddered. That felt like months ago, not days. Carol was holding out a tin can of coffee and the smell brought her back to the here and now.

"Where did you find coffee? And Cured meat of all things" She was sitting on a log by the re lit fire, she must have numbly continued the morning routine in her daze. She looked up at Carol

"cured the meat a time back, been saving it, but I guess, what is there to save for? There's more coffee but the meat is minimal I'm afraid. Even the coffee is a bit dry and off colour" Rick had laughed,

"I haven't had coffee in a long time. This is good, no matter how bad" Alex looked ahead at Daryl

"It's warm, and wet" she answered, no inflection to her words, but Daryl stirred as she looked him in the eye "and that's about as good as we can ask for"

"What did you do before?" Carl asked, out of no where. "I mean, you've managed so long on your own, and you can cure meat, is that linked, you know, to before?" Alex smiled at him.

"No, well, I don't know, maybe. In England I had a small holding. I had pigs and chickens and a goat, and I grew fruit and vegetables for personal use. I got right into herbs and wild fauna, too. I learned all about how to use the world around me to survive. It may have helped, but it's different here, the vegetation isn't the same and it can be hard to tell what is and isn't good for you" she paused. Michone looked at her with narrow eyes.

"Sounds like a nice easy way to live. What brought you to America?" Alex shrugged

"To me, now, there is no before and after, no then and now. There used to be, but in the present, you've got to live each day as it comes, you can't dwell on the past anymore" she sipped her almost cold coffee and stood. "I don't like to talk as if times were better, as if things got worse. This is all there is to me" she spread her arms at the world around her as if to take it all in "This is it" She walked away from the fire, closely followed by Daryl, who she knew was there, but she kept walking. Silence behind her spun out for a moment before she heard Rick begin to give light orders to his boy.

"Pack your things and get Judith fed. Ok?"

She kept walking.

"Stop girl"

She kept walking.

"I'll help ya, if y'all wan' it" She stopped and turned to face him. He was close enough that she could feel his breath on her face. He was only an inch taller than she was, his breath pouring straight up her nose. She hated being breathed on, before, by anyone, but Daryl's breath was hot and sweet.

"Help?" She asked him. He nodded.

"Uh huh. You said back there, you don't know 'bout whass poisonin' and what ain't. I know. I c'n help" she shrugged

"Survived so far, haven't I?" She turned again, and began to walk away, but Daryl grabbed her arm. Lightly, but she stopped and turned to face him

"whass'up with you Girl?" She yanked her arm free of him, though she didn't have to be so dramatic, his touch was not forceful.

"Ok." She said. "Those guys are planning to leave this morning, I guess we can have a lesson on the way" she closed the gap between them in a single large step, her nose almost touching his "but don't you ever fucking grab me that way again unless you mean it" she spat. He didn't flinch. Didn't even blink. It seemed to make her angrier, but he didn't apologise. She waited a breath and stormed back to the camp. He watched her through the trees, composing herself before she was fully in the groups view. He shook his head

"Volatile" he said to himself, randomly picking some new shoots from a conifer and nibbling them "unstable and fit to blow"

 

As he rejoined the group Alex was kicking out the last of their fire. She looked at him and brushed her hair from her eyes

"We need to stop burning the ground. People will be able to follow a trail of burnt patches and find us. You know as well as I do. I tracked you myself." Daryl nodded "Be better to dig a pit, and fill it in afterwards." She scuffed a lone ember with her boot. "The ground will look disturbed, but it won't be quite so obvious." She untied and retied her hair to catch the loose strands back into the hair tie. He watched her every move, and she knew it.

She's too graceful to be here, he thought, watching her pull her long hair through the elasticated hair tie. Every movement is almost willowy, every word so beautifully spoken. The invisible r she used in fast and can't, But then last night, still graceful but forceful. An image flashed in his mind, of them, locked together. Just fulfilling a need? He wasn't sure. 

"Why?" The others were far enough away, putting on back packs and readying to leave, but he kept his voice low. She looked at him confused.

"Why what?" Another ember. She stamped on it "This fire's never going to die!"

"Why? Everything." She smirked at him

"Really? You're asking me. Out of the abundance of men available to me, why you?" She shook her head "I just wanted to thank you for saving my life" she looked at him with her head tilted. His beautiful blue eyes, but that permanent scowl he wore "We're the same. You and I. I think we'll be just fine if you remember that." Daryl narrowed his eyes

"The same? You don't know shit about me girl, shit. You're screwed up. Volatile and on edge all the time" at this Alex laughed so hard and so long that everyone turned to them

"Oh my god." She said as she finished. "And you're not?" Daryl had to bite his tongue to keep from right hooking her. Everyone staring at him, laughing in his face. Bitch.

"We're leaving imminently" Rick stepped over to them "what are you guys going to do?" Alex looked at Daryl, Daryl looked at Rick. Already Rick had seen her potential and thrown them together as a two man team. Daryl felt he was going to have to babysit this damned Brit for a while.

"We'll follow on," he said, Merle grinning like a pervert in his head "gotta teach this'un how to stalk more quietly in future. We ain't Gone be far behind" Rick nodded

"Ok, you stay safe"

\----------------

 

“ We ain’t the same” Daryl said as they picked their way through shrubbery “ Ain’t no two people the same” Alex didn’t answer. “Li’l Miss Chatterbox gonna keep running away from the question? I’ll ask you once more, girl. Why?” She stopped and turned to him. Her face was hard

“It’s just sex, Daryl. I thought you were someone I could screw without all this nonsense” She sighed.

“Not that” he stepped in close enough that their foreheads almost touched. He was trying to intimidate her. “Not why me, dumbass, Why us? You survived so long on your own, you don’t need us” Every muscle in her body begged her to move away from him, but instead she pushed forward, made him step back

"I told you. I’m alone, and I’m scared” She whispered, harshly. Daryl narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t look scared, sure as hell don’t act scared” Confusion and anger rushed through him. No one resisted him this way. Never. He never thought he’d like it if they did.

_‘She feisty, boy! She gone have your guts for garters if ya let ‘er_ ’

“What about you, Daryl?” she eyeballed him “You don’t need them. It doesn’t fit. They need you. Why do you stay?” He was damned if he was going to be intimidated by her, no matter how much she clearly wanted him to be. “Tell me. Why?”

"I ain’t gotta tell you nothin’” he shrugged uncomfortably as she stopped pacing and stood in front of him.

Confusion wracked his head. Who was she? What did she know?

And why the hell couldn’t he stop thinking about her after he laid up for the night last night?

“No one dictates to me” he said finally, and she laughed. She actually laughed in his face. Again. It was all too much for him. He grabbed her by the jaw and shoved her backwards. She stumbled over her own feet and fell. Without thinking, as she sprawled, he clambered on top of her and held her down.

“Ooh.” She didn’t struggle “Going to show me how tough you, big guy?” He stared at her, breathing hard. He was very aware of his erection pushing against his zipper and wondered if she was, too. His hand was still cupping her chin. He moved it to cover her mouth and used the other to unzip himself. Understanding dawned in her eyes as he reached for her waistband, and she began to kick her legs and yell into his dirty palm.

“Shut up girl” his hand was between her legs, “Ain’t this what you want?” He realised then it was what he wanted. He forced her lips apart with a calloused hand and thrust himself inside. Her eyes bulged but her yelling quieted. She clawed at his back as he thrust into her over and over, but the pain ebbed as her body yielded to accept the fullness of him. She felt a warmth in her that she willed away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of making her cum, but nature took over, and her nerve endings betrayed her. He pressed his hand harder against her mouth and it was all too much. They exploded together, and he fell on top of her in a sweaty, panting heap.

She lay a moment, caught her own breath. He was heavy, and strong, but he'd be off guard... She tried to move as little as possible, placed her hands on his chest, no mean feat as he crushed her into the ground, and pushed with all her might. He lifted, slightly. In one movement she removed her right hand from him, he listed that side, and she flipped her left leg over him and span him onto his back. It was hard, performed in a second, and she sat atop him panting for mere milliseconds before punching him square in the jaw. His narrow eyes flew open wide 

"The hell you doin'?" He asked, rubbing his face. She got up, rearranged her clothes, 

"Stop it" she brushed herself off "Just, leave it now." She held a hand down to him "the others will be getting away from us, and you haven't shown me a thing about what we can and can't eat out here"

 

Daryl's usual inner monologue had changed. Now he was wracked with guilt and confusion. What was that? What had he just done to her? He didn't know what had come over him, he was holding feelings down low in his gut and they exploded in a fit of violence. Don't they always?

Shouldnta laughed at me.

Though that's no real excuse

Shouldn't be such a hard assed bitch neither

But you raped her,

Shouldnta brought her back.

Shouldnta attacked her

Shoulda just punched her, crazy ass son of a whore. Damn! Merle spoke up then,

_'little brotha, you made me proud. Didn't think us ha it inya. No more Darylina. You're a real Dixon now.'_

He stretched his jaw. That was gonna hurt in the morning. 


	3. Sharing is caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex appears to be naive about the world round them. But she shared dark secrets with Daryl in the hope he'll start to understand her actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More story coming through now.  
> Things are developing quite quickly. Not sure if I need to bulk it out at all  
> Enjoy :)

They caught up with the group standing outside a large run down cabin. It was boarded up from the outside, never a good sign. Rick turned and looked them up and down appreciatively. Alex had strings of small game and Daryl had a small deer around his shoulders.

"House is boarded up" he said needlessly "not approached it yet but been stood here 10 minutes and nothing appears to be moving." Alex looked at the house, it looked like crap, and it looked like heaven all at once. "Michonne and I will go in. You guys stay close. We'll let you know if it's ok" He looked to Michonne and she nodded she was ready. Everyone drew their weapons. New to this, but not new to this world, Alex dropped her squirrels and pulled out her stick. The tension in the group was palpable. Her previous crew was full of pricks who never felt this close. She knew if she ever went in to a house alone and there was trouble, they'd probably run. Matt might stick around and try, but even he would go. This feeling of being one was nerve wracking, but good. So good.

Michonne and Rick went in cautiously. She watched, intrigued. They stalked the building like cops. Rick rapped on the door, then stepped to the side. When nothing happened he kicked the door inwards, and again moved out of the way. But nothing happened still, so he and Michonne, weapons at the ready, slid in silent as mice.

The tension mounted and mounted among the members of the group outside. Minutes, rather than seconds ticked by. Alex started to get worried.

"What's happening?" She whispered to Daryl beside her "why haven't they come out?" Daryl didn't answer, eyes trained on the cabins door. Carl, standing slightly behind the group, protecting Judith in his arms, stepped behind Alex and whispered 

"If there was a problem, we'd know. So far so good" she nodded slightly 

'No news is good news' she thought

After A few more moments of heavy silence someone or something was flung out the door. The group moved as one, including Alex, caught up in the 'mob mind' as she was. They edged closer as Michonne came out.

"Only one walker. But you have to come and see what we've found in here" she was smiling. Alex had never seen her smile yet. She was beautiful when she smiled. She should do it more.

The walker was quite fresh. Partially rotten but the smell was bearable, it's face was intact, and there was little blood or staining.

"Fresh" Daryl confirmed as if he read her mind. "Weird." He looked at Michonne "was he infected or had he died of natural causes?" Michonne shrugged.

"Whatever happened, he was the only one" she turned and went back in, most followed. Alex still stared at the dead creature on the floor

"I've not seen a fresh one for so long" she mused. "I thought people generally ensured their dead humans were, you know, really dead" Daryl stood beside her silent a moment. He looked around them.

"I don't like this" he said, finally, before entering the house himself.

Carl popped his head out and called to Alex

"You're going to love this place, come on" she got up, and entered the cabin, still perplexed at what this fresh body could mean for them.

 

Carl was right

"Oh my god" she picked up jar after jar of pickled vegetables, it was almost a throwback to her life in England. "Courgettes, Beetroot,"

"Zucchini and Beets" Carol said knowingly to the others

"Green beans and carrots, wow" Alex was still awed she opened another kitchen cupboard "Herbs!" She looked at everyone gathered around her "we could eat like kings tonight" she looked around the kitchen, clearly very excited. "that's a gas hob. It could run from bottled gas" she moved out of the room, looking for a way out the back of the building.

"Wait!" Michonne jogged up beside her "we've not been out back yet, there could be anything out there. You need to calm down." Alex rolled her eyes. Michonne was getting fed up with her ever changing attitude. Up and down like a yoyo.

"It's ok. The guy outside wasn't bitten, what could there be out here?"

"Anything" Michonne said, resting her hand on Alex's arm "this world can throw anything in your face, nothing is surprising anymore, I've seen it all. It could be anything you could imagine and worse."

"You seem sheltered" Rick said, entering the room. "This isn't a video game, or a horror film. These dangers are very real and everywhere."

"you've got to stop being stupid" Michone added. Alex faced Rick and answered him quietly

"I know. I'm here aren't I? I've lived through this just as much as you have. And I have survived doing what I do." She looked around her "I haven't had other people to think of for a while." She shrugged "it's not me you're looking out for, but all of us, I get that." she looked through the gaps of a boarded window "there's a shed and an out house, I can see some pipes." She turned back to Rick "could be gas pipes, and gas bottles in the shed" she pointed through the gap and Rick obliged, looking through too.

"liquid gas" he said, nodding "dangerous stuff" he looked back to her "could leak, could have run out" Daryl entered the room slowly, leaning against the door frame "Coulda killed that guy out there" Alex's eyes widened.

"Yeah but if John Doe out there killed himself then there won't be any gas left" Alex shook her head. Something didn't add up, something but she couldn't grab it. Until Carl piped up 

"It was boarded from out side. How could he decide to commit suicide and then board up the building from OUTside?"

"Someone boarded him in" Alex mused. "Why?" She leant against the wall "you don't waste time boarding a whole house for just one" Everyone was thinking

"A trap?" Carol asked. "Is there a basement or an attic?" Michonne and Rick shook heads in unison

"We searched high and low, every room we could find" Rick said.

"We're miles from anywhere" Michonne added "what would be the point?"

"Unfortunately some very sick and twisted people are surviving right along side us" Rick noted. Alex shuddered. She knew that was true. A thought struck her and she went to move out of the room again.

"Sorry, been on my own a long time. I get an idea and move on it" she explained "I'm going to check the body" nobody questioned her as she left the building. Daryl again right beside her. 

"'You doin' girl?"He asked as she struggled to flip the walker from face up to face down. 

"Looking for something" she took a small knife from her boot and began ripping open the dead mans shirt. "Are you a sheep Daryl?" He didn't answer. She ripped the shirt open and was studying the back "because you follow me like a lost lamb" she finished.

'Jus' tryin'a work you out,' he thought but didn't say. she shrugged at his silence '

"Fine. Whatever. Look" she traced a finger over some back wounds "does that look like writing to you?" Daryl looked. It was hard to tell "Could have been murder" she added. And traced the wounds again "wicked" she read with her fingers "sinner" she stood up and stepped back "you can read it better up here look" Daryl stood and looked down. The writing was much clearer. 

"Must'a done somethin' rotten to someone" he said, then winced. There was movement behind them, they both turned to see Rick on the stoop. 

"What'd you find?" He asked. Daryl explained, and Alex drifted out. Slowly she turned back to the thick of woods behind her. She was vaguely aware that Rick went inside again.

"Shhhh" she hissed as Daryl again stood beside her "I think there's someone in there" Daryl watched with her. Sure enough someone or some thing was moving just behind the trees.

"Whatever it is, it's alone" he stated "probly not worth our efforts"

"Could be the killer. If this is a trap they'd be nearby" Alex touched his arm "you don't lay a trap and just leave it, for someone else to take what you caught" Daryl shook his head

"You set many traps?" He asked, turning to face her. She felt he'd changed the subject from animal traps. 

"Do you feel trapped? I didn't ask you to follow me out here. I didn't ask you to take me with you in the woods'' she sounded Angry, Daryl just looked at her. 

"There's somethin' 'bout you girl, I can't put my finger on" she sidled a little closer "I don't know what it is either" she whispered directly into his ear "but I like it" she went to move away from him, but he grabbed her arm and span her around, as he did so he moved in and kissed her hard. She resisted at first, shock he thought the most likely reason, but she melted into it. She opened her eyes, and saw Daryl looking at her. She never kissed anyone with her eyes open. Daryl, the world, whatever it was, something was different now.

The thing in the woods now edged forward. Stumbling, not moaning yet but it was clearly a walker. It was slowly making its way to them, Daryl's back was to it but she could see clearly. In a very swift movement she pushed Daryl away and pulled out her sharp stick. The walker started groaning now, the movement catching it's eye, exciting it with the thought of food. Alex raised her weapon above her head and threw it, hard. Daryl watched it spin through the air, keeping amazing aim, and spear the walker through the left eye. It fell to its knees, and then flopped forward as far as it could with the stick halfway through its face.

"Wow" Daryl breathed

"What did you think it was?" She headed towards the creature, kicked it on to its back and pulled out her weapon. "I used to be good at the javelin. Had no weapons here when the shit hit the fan. First thing that came to mind was to sharpen a big stick. Can be used for close combat, too." She demonstrated some moves, ending with a jab of the stick's sharp end. It looked almost choreographed, she moved beautifully.

"Like a dancer" he said almost to himself.

"Huh?" She asked, approaching him again.

"Guys, come on, it's getting dark and we need to secure this door" they turned to Rick, and followed him inside.

 

There was wood panelling in the bathroom, which they pulled off the walls to board up the door. Daryl and Rick headed into the yard out back to see if the gas was working at all.

"What's going on here Daryl?" Rick put his ear next to one of the gas canisters. It wasn't hissing.

"What?" Daryl knocked on another, it sounded full.

"'You disappear in the night with her, can barely keep your eyes off her in the morning. You disappear in the woods with her, come back with a bruised jaw, barely talkin to her." Rick moved closer to Daryl so he could lower his voice "That girl could be a danger to herself. I don't want her to be a danger to you." Daryl shook his head. "After everything," Rick paused "'Daryl we're breaking. After all that has happened, finding each other again"

"I c'n handle myself Rick. I'm ok" Rick tipped his head to one side

"Ever practiced looking after yourself when you're in love? Can make a man crazy, can make him forget about himself and anyone else, because everything he is is for her" Daryl was beginning to feel uncomfortable, he narrowed his eyes at Rick.

"Ain't known her five days, ain't in love with her. There's... I dunno, Rick, she's... There's somethin' about her" Rick nodded

"No doubt about that. She's also a bit unstable" Daryl laughed

"No need to tell me, she's crazy"

"Just. Just be careful, ok?" Daryl nodded, once, then looked above his head.

"Could use some of these here tools on the road" he pulled down a small axe, or large hatchet, and tucked it into his belt. "The gas seems safe. I still aint liking the situation here. What happened to that walker? How'd he die?" Rick had no answer, but someone else may have.

They went back to the house and into the kitchen where Michonne was gutting the deer, Alex skinning a squirrel or two, and Carol looking for pots and pans. Maggie was checking their water supplies

"Well," Carol said "if the gas doesn't work we could always start a fire, we gotta eat"

"The canisters have gas in and don't appear to be leaking. I don't think we should eat any of the self canned stuff from here, though" They all looked at Daryl. He shrugged "somethin' killed that walker, it weren't gas, it weren't another walker, he's got writin' all over his back." He paused "maybe he was poisoned" Alex shot him a look. The only other person in the group who had listened to her. She was so thankful.

"How do we know?" She asked. "If we can't tell, we can't risk cooking, or cleaning, or drinking here" Rick answered her.

"There's a water tank in the second out building. It's electronically pumped so no waters been getting in, but I don't know how safe that would be. There's hundreds of bottles of water in the shed, but again" he shrugged once more "who knows? There's so many drugs and potions that have no colour, no odour'" the girls faces dropped.

"That's the trap" Alex said finally "we don't know what happened here, we thought we were safe, but we might not be. That was the game for someone else" she shook her head "people are mean and stupid and cruel" she left the room, almost barging Carl out of the way.

"Judith's asleep," he said "what's happening, do we have gas?"

Alex fumbled in her pack and pulled out a small water bottle. Inside was maybe a mouthful or two. She sighed and tipped her head to the ceiling. Daryl came in. She barely noticed him.

"I have water, If ya thirsty" he offered. She looked at him, huffing and a bit pouty.

"For now. What about tomorrow?" She looked around her, then chucked the water back in her pack.

"Gotta be water nearby. We caught the deer not two miles away" she didn't answer. Crouched in front of her pack she put her head down so her hair covered her face and cried.

Not knowing how to react Daryl just stood. He didn't stare, but kept glancing over. She didn't appear to be in to mushy shit, Now she sat here cryin' like a young'un. Everyone in the group, all of them had had their moments. Even Daryl had sat and bawled when it all got too much. But he somehow didn't expect it from this feisty, crazy Brit. It wasn't very British.

"I'm sorry" she said finally, wiping her face and sniffing "everything seemed to be coming together. I found you guys, after being on my own forever I found you, you accepted me despite yourselves, we found a place we can stay at least a night or two in safety" she stood up and went to him. "I'm sorry, I'll come and look for water with you in the next few days" Daryl nodded.

"It's ok to be human" he said softly "we're all in this together now" she flapped a hand at him dismissively

"Stop trying to be poetic" he grabbed her hands to stop them flailing. He wanted to tell her that she was poetry, and that she made him feel that way, but he didn't have the right words. He just looked deep into her in the hope that she could read it in his face. "Don't" she said, and pulled her eyes and hands away. "Dawn would be a good bet. We'll leave, find water. I should help with the dinner. I might have some tins in here"she went back to her pack. "Tomatoes" she pulled out two cans "and...." She read the label on a third "onions" She looked at Daryl "Really. I mean canned hamburgers made me laugh but canned onions? Aren't they porous?" He shrugged a bit

"All my childhood everything we ate came outta can or offa the road" Alex looked at him. She felt bad.

"It's not then, anymore" she said, leaving the room and heading for the kitchen.

Daryl stood for a moment. It's not then, she said. She was right. He eyed her pack on the floor by a dusty flowery couch, and suddenly wanted to delve inside. Find some piece of her he'd missed, something to bring it all together. The mood swings, the emotional outburst. Pills for depression or something were the safest bet. He dragged himself leadenly from the room. Slightly ashamed of himself that leaving the bag unchecked was so difficult.

 

They ate a hearty venison stew with rice from Their own stash for two nights running. It was filling, and being full felt good. They doubled up on rooms, though Alex was adamant

"I'm good with my bed roll or the couch." She'd gestured to her pack, which was pretty big "Amazing what I can get in that thing."

 

On the second night, as everyone made their way to separate corners of the house, Alex started to move the dinner things into the sink.

"no point leaving a mess for whoever else comes by" she said to Daryl, "where are you gong to sleep tonight?" They'd barely spoken in 24 hours. Daryl had slept on the couch, she had slept on the floor.

"Im not tired yet" he moved from the kitchen to what made for a lounge "I'm good for the floor tonight if you want the couch, though" she followed him through and eyed the couch suspiciously

"I bet it's full of mites or fleas or something" she wrinkled her nose. Daryl thought it was cute but how could she be pretentious?

"Better than walkers nibbling at your ears" Alex laughed. She got on her hands and knees and pulled her floor mat from her pack. She turned and rolled it across the floor, then crawled and spread it flat. Daryl watched her with her ass in the air. She looked over her shoulder at him, and winked

"Stop drooling pervert" he licked his lips, almost nervously "Face down, ass up" she laughed. She got up and moved some of the candles, blew some others out. It came to have quite an ambience, considering.

She sat on the couch and gestured Daryl to sit with her. He sat after a moments hesitation and she turned him slightly away, she began to rub his shoulders.

"This'd be better if you weren't wearing a leather vest and tshirt." He stiffened and she stopped touching. "Ok." And moved away from him. They sat in silence for a while.

Daryl's inner monologue started again.

The fuck she want me naked for? Shit.

Just do it, massage'd be nice after carrying that damned carcass yesterday, sleeping on this flea bitten crusty old couch.

But she'll ask questions. I don't, I can't go through telling someone all over again. It hurts. It still hurts.

Everything I touch turns to shit, best not get close.

_Just take ya damned shirt off little brotha_

fuck off Merle

Shit.

Just do it. Do it do it do it.

If this one dies too, I'm done.

 

She was almost drifting to sleep sitting up when Daryl stood and removed his vest and tshirt. He didn't face her, but sat back down where he was before, facing away and at a slight angle. She held back a gasp. The scars were immense, but gasping would destroy the fact that he had been brave enough to show her. Instead, she edged towards him, traced the scars with her hands, and began to massage again.

"You need to learn how to switch off and just relax" she whispered, she worked on a knot in his right shoulder with her thumbs. "You're going to be in all sorts of pain before you're fifty otherwise" Purposefully not mentioning his body, and he seemed to know it. He stretched his shoulders as she moved down to the small of his back

"Feels good. You an expert masseuse as well as everything else?" She laughed

"No, but it's not terrible is it?" She used the pads of her fingers all over him, found no more real knots, but was enjoying touching him. He turned to face her, and gestured to her clothes

"Why don't you let me see if I can return the favour?" Without hesitation she untucked and removed her long sleeved tshirt, she didn't turn away from him as he did her. Daryl's eye was drawn, surprisingly not at her chest, but her arms. Covered in fresh scars, no where near as old as his. He reached out and caressed one line that ringed her wrist and spiralled half way to her elbow. Not self harm. She kept her eyes trained on his face and saw how confused he was, how much he wanted to know.

"I was bound, with metal wire" she offered. "They tied me to a tree," she put her arms above her head, held her own hands "like this" she bent and lifted the cuffs of her combats "they tied my feet apart" he looked at her ankles. Similar carvings curved around them "on a board. Then, they connected the two, hands and feet. They rested me on a stump" She looked at the floor. "They cut me all over, but the cuts healed much better than the wire." She looked at him "doesn't seem to make sense being gang raped by a bunch of people I thought would do anything to protect me." She shrugged "it's what I get for being so forward, I guess" Daryl shook his head

"No one asks for this" she nodded

"true, but how can it not be my fault? I'm a very... How do I put it? Sensual person, it's natural, I was bound to run into the wrong crowd eventually" she shrugged again. " I should have known not to be so blasé about it, but then, they should NEVER have untied me from that tree..." Her expression went dark and brooding. Daryl, still unable to take his eyes off her arms, asked what she did "you know I killed them, I was telling Rick when I first came. They untied me all laughing and joking and 'no hard feelings, Al,' at that point I was disgusting. Filthy, tired, hungry and thirsty. I let them build camp while I stewed in the corner. They thought I was catatonic but I was just biding my time. They got drunk at dinner. The fools. All passed out blind, And I saw my chance. I managed to pierce 6 pairs of balls before one of them started screaming. Fucking Matt. He wasn't a drinker, I should have watched more carefully." She stopped and looked at Daryl, staring at her. He wanted to apologise, for launching himself on her in the woods, for these men, for all men "I needed to do it" she said hastily "I had to let them know it wasn't on. Of course I could have let them bleed out, but I couldn't risk the noise." She folded her arms across herself, feeling vulnerable and exposed "I don't go around just chopping dicks off. Never did it before and I hope I won't have to do it again"

"If I knew, and they were still alive, I'd've found 'em and done the same damn thing" he brushed her hair away from her face, took gentle hold of her arms and put them by her sides. Then he reached both arms around her and unclasped her bra. His face was barely an inch from hers, she leaned forward and kissed him, very softly, on the mouth. He reciprocated, matching her pressure, and when she opened her mouth so did he. She liked to be in control, this much he had worked out, and he let her lead him. She pulled away and slowly let her bra straps run down her arms. She peeled it off and he admired the swell of each breast. Small scars, no more than nicks, were scattered across them. He bent his head and kissed each and every one. He took hold of her arms and gently kissed the wrists, she groaned, a mix of shame and pleasure. As he moved his kisses, across her body, lower and lower, she slid lower on the couch. Once she was lying, he unbuckled her belt, and slid her combats off her body. She lay before him naked, scarred, and beautiful.

She reached for him and pulled him close, and they made love by candlelight as outside under a moonless sky the dead walked the earth.

\---------------

Just before sunrise Alex was awake, and Daryl lay heavy on top of her, snoring gently. Her initial reaction would have been to shove him off, but she stopped herself. This beautiful naked man was deep, sensual, loving. You just had to work at him. He'd got through to her deep sensual and loving side too. She'd never have guessed to look at him. But she needed to pee.

"Daryl" she hissed. Nothing "Daryl" again she hissed, but this time she slapped his bicep, Nothing and now her hand stung. "For fuck sake big man get off!" He mumbled then. She couldn't make it out. Nothing seemed to be working, and she was about to blow her bladder. She did the only thing she could think of, leaned forward and bit his ear. It still didn't have the desired effect, but he did rouse a little and looked at her. "Hi'" she smiled

"Hey" he seemed confused "did you just bite me?"

"I need to whizz, and you're in the way" he made a face and then proceeded to get off the couch

"Oh shit, sorry" she sat up, swiftly got dressed, and headed for the bathroom. The toilet didn't flush, and it stank, but they were all told to stay inside.

Daryl dressed and sat back on the couch. Slowly waking up he remembered last night. They had had slow and romantic love making. It confused him. She didn't 'do' romance. Hell he'd never had a night like that either. He felt he knew more about her now than she ever expected to let on. Perhaps more than he really wanted. She came back and sat next to him.

"Looks like it will be light in an hour or two. If we go back to sleep now I probably won't wake up." Daryl didn't answer, he looked lost in thought. "You know, yesterday, when you attempted to have your way with me, it wasn't.... It didn't feel like it did with the others." Alex looked at the floor "And, I'm really sorry I punched you"

" I don't know what came over me" he said, also looking at the floor "I've never, I would never, and have never, attacked a woman. I'm sorry." Alex shushed him with a hand on his arm. Those muscles still made her tingle 

"if you're sorry, if you expect forgiveness, that means you think what we did was wrong. Is it wrong?" He didn't answer so she continued "I enjoyed it, but if you insist on catching me off guard, I will punch your face" He didn't answer. Didn't even smirk at her joke. Something about his silence made her want to share. Perhaps because he didn't. "I have only ever 'made love' like that, with my husband." She blurted. Daryl glared at her "You're married?" She nodded

"Iwas. About a million years ago. Back in the UK. I left him, to come to the U.S." Daryl looked at her

"Why?" She shrugged

"I don't really know" she looked at her feet again "I don't know if I felt I was missing out, or messing up." She got up and stretched "I loved him, so much. When I left, not long after, he killed himself." She sat with a thump on the floor "I killed him" she said softly "and when I found out, I wasn't too bothered. I loved him fiercely when I was back home. I left I guess because I was scared I was missing out. What a load of crap that turned out to be" she looked up at Daryl "He never hurt me, he never set a foot wrong and he worshipped the ground I walked on, and I destroyed him in a single selfish act." Daryl was learning more about her by the second. "Making love is for lovers. When people love me they get seriously hurt. If I jump in like I don't care, screw and leave, no one will give me a second thought." She shrugged again "anyone I've screwed around with for a while normally starts talking about feelings eventually and I have to leave. One guy was very surprised to hear I don't have daddy issues. Sometimes when I look back, I'm surprised. Sometimes I feel dirty but I make sure I never feel used." Daryl understood her yoyo moods, her crazy attitude. She'd been hiding behind a fake person a for so long, and it was trying to break through. He knew what that could do to you.

"You should just be Alex" she smiled at him

"I don't even know who she is anymore" Daryl took her hand

"It's not then anymore" he echoed her words from yesterday "you don't need to hide now" she shrugged, leant back against her pack and sighed.

"I thought this was an opportunity to be whoever I wanted. But Alex just kept coming through" She laughed bitterly. "Last night she wouldn't frigging leave"

"That's not a bad thing," he held out his hands as if to pull her up. "Last night was almost beautiful" she rolled her eyes at him, but took his hands and let him help her up. "We should go" he said then "we've been talking about soppy shit far too damn long" She laughed then, truly heartily laughed.

 

They gathered together a host of tools, weapons and empty bottles. The plan was to board everyone in, and hopefully return with water.

"This feels so wrong" Alex said, hammering nails into the panels on the door "boarding them in like sitting ducks" Daryl smirked

"Rick, michonne, Carol... Hell even Carl c'n look after himself"

"Still. After what we came here to. It's weird" they backed down the stoop, admired their handiwork, then turned for the woods.

 

The hammering woke everyone else. They got up together, knowing they might be stuck until dark. Carol, in the kitchen boiling water, didn't hear Rick come in behind her

"Seems Daryl's got himself a girlfriend" she turned sharply and eyed Rick suspiciously. Was that supposed to upset her?

"He needs it. Needs someone to bring him out of himself. He's too hard on himself and everyone else. No matter how much he's changed from day zero, he's still a hard assed son of a gun." She turned back to her water "might help him, to open up a bit." Rick sat at the kitchen table

"I don't know" he said finally "she's crazy, and I think I made a mistake letting her in" Carol shook her head 

"She'll prove her worth. And Daryl... He can read people. They seem similar. I think they'll be fine." She touched Rick's shoulder "if Daryl believed her, she was telling the truth. If Daryl thinks she'll fit in here, she will" She took the pan of water, now boiling, from the stove and set it aside. "If you want a meeting, we'll have a meeting, but she has a right to stand up for herself. Our numbers have dwindled and morale is very low. You said so yourself. We need her more than you realise. She makes Carl laugh, she's good with Judith. I'm happy if Daryl's happy." Rick was still unconvinced

"If they get eaten out there because they were too busy bumping uglies to notice a herd, don't say I didn't warn you" Carol laughed, and Rick couldn't help but smile. It was a stupid suggestion

"What a way to go though" Carol mused, and they laughed together.

 

A mile away, deep in the trees, Daryl and Alex were discussing water tracking.

"Any water we find, we'll have to head upstream anyway" Alex argued. "Cause if it's tainted we'll know from upstream." Daryl shook his head As Alex turned to walk uphill

"We start looking for low lying water and follow it. Down here we can follow the wildlife to find a lake or pond" Alex huffed at him "you're not very good at this" she narrowed her eyes

"And yet I'm still alive" Daryl snorted

"You pull that outta the bag a lot. God knows how" he shook his head and began to walk away "more luck than judgement I reckon" Alex reluctantly followed "come on girl. Lift those feet up" he smirked to himself. "Hunter my ass" Silently, stealthily, Alex crept up behind him, spear drawn, and whipped him across the ass with it, not hard, but he span, shocked.

"Hunter my arse"she said, giggling "didn't see that coming did you?" She ran off the way Daryl had already been walking. He looked after, refusing to fall into her childish game.

"Crazy bitch" he muttered to himself. But when she disappeared through the trees, he couldn't help but quicken his step. "Alex?" He called cautiously. He sped up more, and Rick's words rang in his head "Love can make a man forget about himself' He slowed himself down. Took stock of the situation. He listened, hard. He couldn't hear the undergrowth moving, couldn't hear branches and twigs snapping. She'd stopped. He crouched, looked closely at the earth and knew exactly what she had done. He bit his tongue to keep from storming away.

"Ain't gone find no water up there" a booted foot appeared in front of him, then another. He looked up at her sitting on a branch. "Gone start actin' ya age and not ya shoe size at all today?"

"You're wrong this time" she said gleefully "come see,"she disappeared up into the tree

 "Walkers come by, smell you up there, you could be stuck for days" he went to walk on, almost stopped again. What the hell. He was going soft, and gooey over some British chick he'd known a few days, who seemed to use him for her own therapy. Who was likely to get herself killed while playing stupid games. He stopped several feet from the tree. He couldn't exactly leave her. If he had met her before, this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have given the crazy sumbitch the time of day. Or he may have, to screw once and move on. Was this really him? Was that really him? Or was he living the life he thought Merle would approve of.

"Goddammit" he said aloud, and headed back to the tree. He looked up at her, shielding his eyes. "My mama and dad were dicks" he offered quietly "they drank, and they beat me." She crept slowly down the branches toward him, wanting to hear, not wanting to interrupt. "My brother Merle was an asshole. But I always feel I owe him because he was better to me than they were. That ain't sayin much but it's true." He stopped. He wasn't looking at her anymore.

The silence rolled out, but eventually Alex descended from the tree. Daryl was looking aimlessly to the left of her. "I had to kill my brother because he was a walker. I lost a girl... I dunno what we were, good friends I guess... Beth. She was the only hopeful person left in the world." He looked at her. Eyes dry, face set. "Now, can we man up and find some water now, girl?"

Alex turned and led the way downhill without a word.


	4. Tell me your stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Daryl fight off a herd as Rick questions the loyalty of his right hand man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four.  
> I have a plot twist for chapter five but I need to straighten it out in my head.  
> Enjoy in the meantime :)

An age of mind numbing silence later Alex stopped dead. Lost in his thoughts (that damn inner monologue) Daryl walked straight into her, but she stood strong as he fumbled.

"What the hell?" He exclaimed, more out out that he'd been lost in his own dark mind than that she'd stopped suddenly, but she shushed him

"Listen" she whispered. Water. It was still a way off. He looked at his feet, the ground had been getting less dry. He hadn't even noticed, he needed to get back in his own head and out of this crazy stupor this chick had sent him into.

"Ground's damp" he said out loud. "Been waitin' for you to notice" she didn't answer, just listened. She turned her head left, then right.

"This way" she said, moving off to the left. He sighed heavily and followed.

They came upon the most beautiful random watering hole she had ever seen. The water was crystal clear, edged all around by rocks.

"Must be a spring, look" Daryl pointed at the water, it was clearly moving, though it was not fed, rather a natural pool. It was more inviting than anything Alex had seen in a long time. Daryl noticed her face light up, and he was glad he saw the transition, though he refused to admit to himself that her happiness made him happy, and what that might mean.

"Baths" Alex said suddenly "oh I've missed a good soak" she was undressing, her shirt came off over her head and she looked at him, smiling "come and wallow with me, it'll be awesome"

"Walkers come by and we're playin' Marco polo what you thinks gonna happen? They can walk underwater." her face had dropped, but she continued undressing

"Fine. We'll take turns." She said pouting. "As I am" she pulled off her final sock "a ha! Naked! I go first" she went for her pack. Daryl watched, not particularly interested, and she pulled out some shower gel "this bitch is getting clean baby!" She ran towards the water but turned back to him "What do you miss Daryl? From before?" He smirked and shook his head 

"Not babysittin' your sorry ass" he sat on the floor, crossbow at his side, and gestured her to go "hurry up" he hissed "ain't got all day" Alex turned an stepped slowly in

"Oooh it feels sooooo gooood" she murmured to herself. She swam to the centre of the pool before laying on her back, floating. The sun was high and warm, and she close her eyes against its intrusive brightness. Daryl had shared. She felt good about that. she had a little piece of him that he would normally keep locked away. She smiled and slowly wavered her hands in the water.

Daryl leaned back against a rock. From this point, higher than the water, he could see all three sides, above and behind could be an issue but he'd be alright. He surveyed the scene before him. Lush green trees, the beautiful natural pool, ever expanding blue skies and the sun beating down over it all. Alex lay in the water, naked as the day she was born. He wasn't sure if she was brave, stupid, or both. Rick was right, she did seem sheltered, she ran into things and situations without thinking of the consequences. It was like she'd entered in to this new world only recently. Sure she could look after herself to a point, but she never considered what was around the next bend until she got there. Lost in his thoughts, looking across the narrow span of horizon, he noticed something twinkling in the distance. He raised his cross bow, used the sight for a better view. It was a window. A house. This close to the water it could be just what they needed. He stood, and ambled down to where Alex was now washing her hair

"Hurry up, girl, think I found something. We need to go check it out." Alex duck dived under the water and popped back up right in front of him.

"I was really hoping you'd bathe. You reek" Daryl looked over her wet body as she climbed out of the water. Droplets everywhere. Her skin glistened in the sun as she made her way to her pile of clothes. She was completely unashamed. She was pulling on her socks as a flock of birds screeched overhead. She looked up, then looked at Daryl. He knew what that meant, too. She shoved her boots on and grabbed her pack. Jumping up she bent for her stick and stood by Daryl's side.

"You hear them yet?" She asked, breathlessly . He shook his head, held a finger to his lips. They stared the way the birds came, as one lone walker limped out of the woods. Daryl held up his crossbow to shoot as another stumbled out beside it. Then another. Then a fourth.

"You got anything besides lotion in that packa yours girl?" Alex put her pack down and reached slowly into it pulling out a machete Daryl was impressed.

The walkers slowly made their way forward, seeming to not really have noticed the pair in front of them. Daryl pointed to himself and then to the two on the right, Alex nodded, the two on the left were hers.

"Stay by me" he whispered, and they moved forward as one. The movement caught the attention of the walkers and they turned toward the pair. Daryl shot one through the head with a bolt as Alex readied her spear for another she noticed the trees rustling.

"Holy shit" she breathed, and Daryl looked up from his crossbow as three more walkers emerged.

"It's ok, stay calm girl, I've taken on more'n this on my own" Machete in one hand, spear in the other, Alex couldn't clap her hands for their attention like she normally would. Instead she yelled "Hey!" And Daryl shot her a 'what the hell you doin'? Look. She winked at him, then moved away from him. He didn't have time to do anything about it as two walkers were hot on him. He stabbed one in the eye and pulled his elbow back in the others face, knocking it to the ground so he could have time to move around and stab him too. When he looked up from his handiwork Alex was surrounded by the other five. Did he miscount? He'd killed three. But more were coming. He ran to the walker he'd shot with his crossbow and pulled the bolt out of its head he loaded his weapon and turned again to his partner. Who had a pile of the dead at her feet and more coming. He shot a large looking male in the head and whistled as he moved forward, three walkers turned to him, and began to head in his direction. "Alex!" He yelled "try and move around to the right" she looked around her, saw what he was aiming for, and moved in front of Daryl, facing the walkers. The pile of bodies between them and the undead.

She wished for a gun with a silencer, a big pile of rocks, anything. She hadn't seen a herd in a while and never when she was in a group of only two. This sucked. more walkers were coming, slowly, slowly, but still, so many. Her initial reaction would have been to climb a tree, hide, stab from above, but the trees were behind the walkers. They stumbled and fell over the bodies, Daryl's idea had worked.

The walkers had stopped emerging from the woods but there were at least twenty still alive. Still coming, still hungry.

"Alex!" Daryl yelled again. She'd been standing, observing, too long. She raised her spear and stabbed a walker through the 'third eye' and he practically disintegrated in front of her. These biters had been turned a long time. As Daryl shot, with perfect aim around her, she stabbed and jabbed her way back to him. Moving backwards, looking forwards, spear high, she completely forgot about the water. They were down to maybe five walkers, hungry, raging, they moved in closer. Daryl shot a look Alex's way 'we're gonna do this' he thought. 'The two of us' But as he looked over, he saw her nearing the pond. He went to call out as she stepped back onto nothing, and fell, dropping her machete, still holding her spear. She didn't make a sound, just disappeared. His heart raced, he surveyed the situation. One walker maybe two hundred yards from the pond, four enclosing on him. No time to take stock, he stabbed the closest with a bolt, punched another in the jaw, and edged toward the pond. He was tiring, he hurt, but adrenaline surged through his body as Beth flashed in his mind. She'd been quiet a long time

 _'save her'_ she said in her sweet southern drawl _'you gotta save her Daryl_ ' He did. He had to. He looked out to the forest. No more, not a single walker was coming now. They'd almost done it. He neared the pond, bringing the last walkers with him. He peered quickly over the edge. Alex lay sprawled on a jutting rock

Fuck

He whistled at the three walkers left and baited them away from her. He could handle three. They were old, slow. He thrust his bloodied arrow in the face of the closest, pulled it back out, the next was immediately behind and Daryl danced out of its path as it stumbled stupidly over the body of its kin. He kicked it, hard, and it's head exploded in a bloody dusty mess. One left. He looked around, it was nearing the pond, perhaps smelling the blood from Alex, knocked out and vulnerable.

"Hey beautiful" he called. It turned sharply towards him "c'mon now girl. Come and take some live bait." It snarled, baring teeth filled with blood and maggots, and began to walk in his direction. When he was sure it was far enough from the edge not to fall on Alex when he put it down, he shot it with his crossbow. It went down like a sack of shit. He approached, and it was still wriggling, mouth opening and closing. He pulled out his arrow and stamped on its face. Not content he stamped and stamped and stamped until nothing was left but a gnarled mess of blood and hair.

 _Stop_ Beth whispered _'Alex'_ she reminded him softly. Daryl stopped. Panting, tears stinging his eyes Where the hell have you been? He asked the voice in his head Silence

"Goddammit Beth" he said aloud, and moved to the waters edge. He looked over. Alex hadn't moved so far as he could tell. Shit. Knocked the fuck out. He picked his way down to her, making note of the best way up with a body in his arms.

Not a body. She can't be dead.

The first thing he did as he reached her was check for a pulse. Yes. She was alive. Her body was warm and her heart beat. That was good. He surveyed for damage. A blow to the head. Shit. He felt her legs, her arms, as he touched the left arm she sat bolt up right and screeched.

"Arghhhhh FUCK" then her eyes rolled and she almost fell back again before Daryl caught her around the shoulders. Passed out again. He grabbed her spear and tucked it under his crossbow strap. He hefted Alex into his arms and slowly carefully, made his way out of the pond. If it was winter, he thought, she'd have drowned. He pushed that away. No one was dead.

As he reached the top he was struck by how he carried her, how she was light, and limp, and he thought of Beth. Dear sweet Beth. It'd been so dark without her, but now, Alex made it easier. He lay her gently on the ground and headed for her bag. Shit it was heavy. He threw it over his shoulder, crossing the strap with his crossbow, and went to pick her up again. He noticed her machete, and grabbed that too. He couldn't carry her this way for long. He looked in the direction of the house. It was maybe fifteen minutes if the way was clear and he didn't have all this to carry. Going back was stupid, he'd never get her back before dark. 

He hefted Alex from being cradled to being slung over his shoulder. Her blood was congealing, that was good. The smell would fade away and they'd be safer. He took a deep breath. His lungs hurt, his arms ached, and though she was light, Alex would soon feel as heavy as her pack. He faced the direction he knew the house to be and headed off.

 

As the light faded, Rick started to pace.

"They'll be ok, Dad" Carl watched his father, clearly he was on edge. His face was stern, his eyes narrow. He stopped, rubbed his mouth with an open palm.

"They'll be back, Rick" Carol offered "Daryl knows what he's doing and Alex has her wits about her when she needs them" he couldn't help but think they'd been caught out in a lustful encounter, walkers devouring their entwined bodies. He pushed the thought as far as he could, but Daryl was different with that girl. He'd been off since Beth died, and now, he seemed to be coming out of himself again. He just hoped it didn't turn him into a sucker. Being in love was wonderful and crazy and painful and all consuming. Daryl could deny it all he wanted, but the boy was in love, no doubt about it

 

Daryl looked up at the house. It stood behind an 8ft brick wall on all four sides, a gate to the front. Large garden to the rear. The gate would need work if this was to be home for a while but it was doable. The sun was just beginning to drop, he needed to get in, check it out, and keep Alex safe. He shifted her on his shoulder and checked the door. It opened. So far so good. First he searched for a place for Alex. To the left of the front door was a small room. Laundry? Maybe. He set her down, oh so quietly, And took her Machete from her pack. The room was windowless, and the door seemed to have a good latch. He shut her in, and stood stock still back against the door. He couldn't hear movement. Though he knew that meant nothing. He made a kissing noise. Nothing He whistled, and waited. He heard shuffling, a muffled groan, possibly from upstairs. He waited some more. There was another moan, But this one came from behind the door. Alex was waking. Shit. She had to be quiet, or this would all go to crap.

He re entered the room he'd put her in. She still looked knocked out, but every few seconds she mumbled. In a moment of unusual and unexpected panic he looked around the room. She had to be hushed. He spied a basket in the corner, yep definitely a laundry room, and had a sudden thought. He went in and checked through, found what he was looking for, and said a silent prayer that she wouldn't kill him if she found out.

In the hallway the groaning got louder, And then a huge crash. His walker had fallen down the stairs. With no ceremony what so ever he shoved the sock in Alex's mouth and peeked around the door. His walker had broken it's legs.

Thank God

He walked up to it and cleaved its head with Alex's machete. He stood again completely still. He could hear nothing. It wasn't a huge house, he should have cleared it by now, Alex's vulnerability was holding him back.

' _Bitches get you killed boy'_ Merle said _'officer friendly told you that'_ Daryl shook his head as if to get Merle out of it. _'Gone take more than that little brotha'_ Merle laughed.

"Will you shut ya damned mouth?!" Daryl hissed. It worked. He listened, not wanting to leave Alex alone, having no real choice.

He moved forward into the unknown.

He found a kitchen, spied some keys that may fit the doors and windows. A back door led to the yard. He looked out of the kitchen window. Nothing in the yard and with a quick survey he could see the wall was intact. No out buildings. Good. He checked a downstairs toilet and a lounge. Nothing. Just the stairs to do then.

On tip toes he edged around his walker, and ascended in the same fashion to the first floor. Four doors led off the hall way. Two of them stood open. One, a bedroom, reeked of the dead, but there was nothing inside. The other, a bathroom, also seemed to be empty. He leaned forward and pulled open the shower curtain and jumped back as what seemed to be a million flies buzzed and then landed back in their meal. A cat, half eaten, lay in a pool of blood and Christ knows what else in the tub. Daryl wasn't one for mulling the loss of a clearly beloved pet. He moved on.

Another bedroom, devoid of life. He approached the remaining door. He held his ear to it. Heard nothing. He knocked on it lightly, and a groan drifted through. Just a light one. Only one. After walking all day, fighting off over thirty walkers, almost losing his girl

" _Your girl? Hoo wee brotha, didn't see that coming!"_

And carrying her for over a mile, he was exhausted. But just one more. Then they would be safe, at least for tonight.

Scratching. The creature was trying to get him through the door. He leant his head against it, wondering how easy it would be to just let it have him. Finally get rid of the ghosts that haunted him. Become the hunter again instead of the hunted.

 _'Don't you dare Daryl Dixon!'_ Beth. His eyes flew open _'don't you wuss out on me. If my life meant anything to you you'll carry on survivin' we know you can. What about that girl downstairs, gonna leaver her for dead? Don't be a coward!'_  

"Ain't no coward girl, you know I ain't" He turned to the door. Kicked it in with a mighty yell. The walker flew backwards with a grunt, but came for him again. It's arm was broken, it's jaw hung at a crooked angle. He swung for it with the machete and killed it in one hit, but he pulled the knife out and hacked again and again and again.

"I ain't no coward!" He yelled, when the job was done. "I'm not!" And broke down in tears.

 

It was night. It was dark and they weren't back. In the flickering candle light Carol watched as Rick continued to pace in front of her. They were all on edge. Judith had been restless. Rick wasn't helping. '

"Rick!" She startled him "you have got to stop doing this to yourself"

"We shouldn't have split up again." He shook his head "if that girl has hurt him..."

"Daryl? Hurt Daryl? Will you listen to yourself?" Rick shook his head

"She's the one who smashed him in the jaw, I'm sure of it."

"So she's a little fire cracker. She only gives as good as she gets" she walked up to him and unfolded her arms "Have a bit of trust, Rick. I know it's hard, after everything, but he knows people. She's good. He's fine. They'll be back tomorrow. You mark my words" Rick stared at Carol.

"I'm going to get some sleep. If they turn up, wake me." He headed for his room.

His room.

A room in a goddamned house he barely knew his way around. They needed a permanent place again. This sure weren't it. Maybe they'd found a place. Maybe they'd holed up for the night, Daryl could handle himself, sure, But without him Rick felt on edge. They all needed each other.

 

Daryl headed back down the stairs and grabbed the walker lying there. He opened the front door and flung it out. He headed to the kitchen, grabbed the keys, and locked the doors. With that done, he entered the room he'd left Alex in. Cautiously, carefully, he opened the door. She was still out cold. Gently, so as not to hurt her arm, he lifted her and carried her to the lounge. The bedrooms still stank. She couldn't wake to that. He headed to the bathroom, the cabinet. He didn't know much about this shit, but aspirin, paracetamol, anything would do. He found some bandages and a sling in a kit under the bathroom sink. A generic painkiller and wipes. 'Probably dry,' he thought 'this'll have to do'

He reached her not five minutes later and her eyes were open. She studied him as he walked in

"Was I bitten?" She whispered "if I'm bitten you have to do the right thing by me" she was crying "I don't remember, did you check? I'm so hot, Daryl, did you check?" He crouched by her head and stroked her hair from her face 

"You ain't bit. You're concussed, and you're hurt. But you ain't bit" she looked rapidly over his face, seeming to look for a sign he was lying.

"Did we kill them all?"

"Yeah"

"I can't move my arm, and I have one hell of a headache"

"I think your arm is broken." He pulled out a wipe, almost dry, but not quite, and wiped at the dried blood running from her temple to the corner of her mouth. She tried to pull way, but he stopped wiping, and she stopped fussing.

"I have an old break, in my left arm. A fracture, I think it might have re broken. It feels the same. I need to move it, exercise it" Daryl nodded.

"Ok girl' he wiped at her face again, and again she tried to stop it.

"I'm tired" Daryl shook his head

"You have concussion, you need to try and stay awake" she reached out her right arm and held his cheek and chin in her palm.

"You might need to talk, then, baby." He started at that 'baby' but she didn't seem to notice "tell me your stories"

"You don't wanna hear my stories. Never mind ya head, you'll die a boredom" she smiled, closed her eyes. "Alex, c'mon girl you gotta try and stay awake. If you stay awake, I know you're ok" She opened her eyes a crack

"Tell me baby." Daryl sighed.

"Keep calling me baby, People'll talk" he stroked her head, she was burning up. She smiled at him

"What people? Nobody here but us" Daryl held out the generic pills he found, and some water. As she took them, he started

"Well. I told you my mama and daddy was useless, when I was a lil boy, my big brother Merle...."

 

Daryl woke with a jolt. He was sitting on the floor, his head on the couch by Alex's. She was holding his hand. '

"Alex"he hissed. He pulled his hand away and touched her head. Warm, but not hot. Good. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him "hey"

"Hi you"

"How you feelin'?" She smiled at him

"Not sure yet, headache's not as bad as last night" Daryl nodded

"I need to find the others, bring them here." He tilted his head at her "need to go alone, you're sick and can't make the journey" her eyes widened and she gripped his hand again. ''S'ok, take it easy. The place is mostly secure. I'm'a see what I can do with that gate out front. You need to rest" she studied his face, found what ever she searched for in his eyes and nodded.

 

The group were up, and anxious. "They'll be ok" Carl said. "Daryl's been teaching her but she knew a lot already. They'll have found water, had a drink, and then holed up for the night in a cave or something"

"Carl's right" Maggie crossed her arms and looked around the group "They know what they're doin'. We can't risk goin after them, we're not trackers." She walked over to Glenn and took his hand. "We need try and stay calm and stay here until they get back. We can't split up again"

"We're already split up" Rick replied "we're already down two" Maggie shook her head

"No, it's different, think about it Rick. We have two trackers out there lookin' for water. It's not like after the prison when we all ran in different directions. It ain't."

"Maggie has a point Rick" Carol offered "We go out there and go in the wrong direction, they come back and we aren't here? What's that going to help?" Rick rubbed at his face. Itching to get out and get the group back together. He heard Lori in his head, telling him she supported him, but it didn't mean she agreed with him. He thought about the farm, he thought about losing Andrea, only to find her and have her killed. He thought about the Prison. Losing everyone and everything. "Every time we lose Daryl he comes back" Carol said, a hand on his arm. '

"It's different now!" He yelled, Pulling his arm away. "He wasn't fighting his heart then!" Everyone looked t him in silence. They'd all seen Daryl fighting something inside him, trying so hard to keep his tough face on.

"He's always been fighting his heart" Carol said "I just think this time his heart is winning" Rick rubbed at his face again, licked his lips,

"We're thirsty. Dehydrated. We need water before we collapse. Judith needs real food." He shook his head "a couple of hours" and left the room.

 

Daryl headed out of the front door and surveyed the surroundings. No walkers. No damage to the wall. He looked over the gate. A 7 foot tall pair of iron gates, which appeared to be electronic way back when electricity was still a thing. He pulled on one. It was heavy, rusting, but it moved. He could tie them closed, lock her in. She'd be safe enough inside then. He looked over the building again, wondering who would live in the woods in a small house with such security. It didn't matter, and it fitted him just fine this way. He removed the walker from the door and out of the gates. It was old, crumbling. The walkers at the pond had been old too. He wondered when the last person alive here had turned. He headed back inside.

"Gone be off now" he said as Alex looked up at him. "I'll lock the doors, and secure the gate. Your spear is on the floor in front of you," she looked at him and he read the dread in her eyes. She'd lost some of her memory of the fight at the pond but he had filled in the blanks. Perhaps he shouldn't have. "Be no more'n two hours girl, maybe two and half."

"You have to take me" she said, Sitting up and wincing "I can't be by myself here Daryl"

"You're weak"

"Exactly!L He sat with her. '"What if the dead come. And... I'm asleep. What if they break the windows and find me here." She looked deep into his eyes "Daryl. What if PEOPLE come." She had him there. People, with control of their motor skills, were worse than walkers.

"The gate and doors will be locked. I have to get back to my group" she balked at that. If he noticed he didn't show it. Didn't backtrack. "I won't be long" and he was gone.

She sat on the couch and wracked her brains for what she had said or done to make him act this way. 'My group' he had said. Not the group, or our people. My group. He had excluded her. It might have been completely unintentional but she'd heard similar exclusions from men before. This is why I get out early, she thought. No one gets hurt. Sometimes they get hurt but I don't get hurt. She threw her head back on the couch, wondering how to pass two hours in relative safety. She had no idea.


	5. Secrets and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex spills some secrets, Rick really struggles to trust her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big twist, x2!! Still in progress, taken me a long time to get this down how I am happy with it, I am still not happy! 
> 
> So made be edited, but enjoy anyway!

As Daryl walked away he made sure he was concentrating, hard, on everything around him. As Merle and Beth tried to speak in his head he observed the scenes before him harder, tuned his ears to the woods, not the voices. 

He had taken enough risks for a lifetime yesterday, but he wouldn’t dwell on it. That was then. 

That brought Alex to the forefront of his mind and he shook her away. 

He followed their track back to the water. It took less than half the time it had late yesterday, her warm limp body over his shoulder. 

My girl he had thought. What the hell was wrong with him? My girl? Shit. Damn piece of ass destroying his mind was what she was.  

He spied a possum, but let it go. No time for that now. He had to get back to the others. In the safety of the house he had found they could hole up a while. Alex could get better, maybe Carol would know how to treat her head and arm. 

He was starting to feel uncomfortable with her again. Wanted to berate her for screwing up, hated her for what she was doing to him. 

He filled his bottle at the pool and continued, not giving the dead walkers a second glance. 

Rick was on the verge of leaving the house. Boarded in, going stir crazy wondering what had become of Daryl, wondering just how much the new girl had got in to his head. Was he dead? Rick didn’t think so. So connected did he feel to his brother that he was sure he would know, deep down, if anything had happened. The others were steering clear of him. Judith had cried when he held her. His head, his demeanour, was not what the group needed. 

“If we can all survive so well alone why are we together?!” He’d yelled earlier this morning when the group asked him what the problem was. They hadn’t answered. He knew they all needed each other. So did they. 

It was then that the noise started. The boards at the door were being removed. Finally they were back.

“It’s me” Daryl called as he prised the boards away. Carol and Maggie shared a look. 

“Just you?” Carl asked as he walked in. “Where’s Alex?”

“Just me, but we found water and a place to stay, safer’n here. Alex is at the other place, she’s hurt.”

“Bit?” Rick asked

“Nah, we took on about thirty walkers, she fell. We have to get back, about an hour away. There’s water and walls. It’ll be good for a few nights while she heals” 

 

“Thirty?” Rick asked “just you two?” Daryl nodded 

“Yeah. She’s good. She’s clumsy, but she’s skilled. Come on, she’s alone and weak” Rick, Michonne, Maggie and Glen had underestimated her. 

“How weak? We can’t wait around for death for a girl we don’t even know” Maggie almost slapped Rick then. She couldn’t bear to hear that he would leave someone for dead. He’d changed a lot since they met at the farm, but recently he was getting too hard.

“Rick, she’s another survivor. We’re in the same boat as she is now. We can’t leave her” Rick turned around

“When we discussed Michonne you said it was weird to have others.”

Maggie shook her head 

“It’s different now. We are the few. We can’t afford to be this low on numbers. Anyone decent we find should stay”

 

“Look what happened to us before! Look at the prison! Terminus! People are the disease! We have been through so much together. We’re connected. She is an outsider. She doesn’t know what we have seen, she doesn’t know us. She is naive and childish and we can’t afford to have her making mistakes.” Daryl, who was staring hard at Rick, couldn’t hear anymore. Carol noticed the look on his face and shook her head slightly. 

“She acts like she ain’t seen nothin’“ Daryl said, not doing what he wanted to do, which was storm out. “But she has. She told me things”

“I am not interested in your pillow talk” Rick replied through gritted teeth. Daryl bit his lip to keep from punching his leader. 

“Just come with me. We can sort this out later” he said, eager to get back. “She seems naive but there’s more to her than that.” Rick mulled it over 

“We’ll go. But me and Alex are going to have a little talk before I decide if we’re staying.” He looked at Daryl. Daryl nodded once, he understood. 

Heading back out Rick and Daryl stayed close together. Daryl thought Rick might ask more questions but he was silent, stern. 

“She’s good people” Daryl said finally. Rick stopped and looked at him

“She’s in your head.” He answered quietly “at this point in time, Daryl, I can’t trust your judgement” Daryl shook his head

“Then trust my judgement from before. I thought she was good then, too”  Rick looked unconvinced, but Daryl let him stew for the time being.

Alex heard rattling at the gate. Not so naive to assume it was the group she picked up her spear and headed for the front door. Getting up made her dizzy. She put her back against the door and rested, hoping recovery wouldn’t take too long. 

She peeked out and saw Daryl and his cohorts. Her heart flipped and the dizziness hit again. She fell to her knees and vomited as Daryl unlocked the front door.

“Woah, Alex” Carol exclaimed, the first to go to her besides being the third person through the door. “Come on, let’s get up” 

“Her arm is broken and she hit her head” Daryl said to Carol as she helped Alex up. 

“I was dizzy” Alex said wiping her mouth “I heard the gate and had to come out here” her head rolled forward, and Carol struggled to hold her up as she fainted again. Glenn took Alex’s other side, looking at Rick and Daryl as he did so.

“What is wrong with you two?” He asked as he and Carol carried Alex back to the couch.

Rick looked at Daryl, who stood tall hard faced. 

“What happened” Rick asked.

“She fell, we were taken on by, I dunno, thirty of the damned things by the pool. We were overrun. She wasn’t looking and fell down the stone side. Hit her head. Broke her arm” Rick followed glen and Carol as they lay Alex down. He stood over her, much to their dismay.

“Concussion?” He asked, Daryl was by his side again. “Just how sick is she?”

“Could be a bleed if she’s vomiting” Carol answered. “There’s a little bruising and quite a bump. Doesn’t look like internal but I’m no doctor.” 

“She got up to protect herself too quick” Daryl harshly added “she musta fell 10 feet, give her a damn break” he knew what Rick was aiming at, saw his angle “she just needs to rest awhile” he Hadn’t opened up since Beth, and now the minute he did she could be slipping away from him. He didn’t want to believe it, wouldn’t believe it. Rick could get fucked if he thought they were going to leave her to die.

“She needs someone to watch her round the clock.” Carol said, standing and pulling Rick and Daryl away from the couch “at least today” Rick put his hands in his hair

“We can’t afford the time” he whispered

“Why? Where are we going to in such a hurry? Ain’t nothin’ out there for us but Walkers and assholes!” Daryl exploded. He stomped away from the group, headed outside and sat on the doorstep. 

“He’s right” Glenn said then as the door slammed “we’re in no hurry. We can at least help her get better.” Rick let his hands drop to his sides and looked to Carol. 

“When can I talk to her?” 

“I’d give her overnight” she answered. “You need to get some rest, and really think about what you want, what’s best for us. For Daryl.” She left it there. Patted Rick’s arm and went back to Alex, who was having her head cleaned by Maggie.  “Turn her this way, in case she’s sick in her sleep” Rick heard behind him. 

He was sure he was right. She was... Different... Either simple or sheltered and he had to find out. He needed to speak to her alone if he was to trust her. 

 

Daryl kept the late night watch on Alex. She hadn’t eaten when the others had. Hadn’t been awake much, but her breathing was steady and there was no more sickness. As everyone peeled off to bed he sat as he had the night before and just watched her. She was still out when he began to speak.

“I don’t know what it is” he whispered “but you have undone a piece of me I thought was locked away forever” he touched her hair, ran his fingers down her good arm. Held her hand “I hope you don’t hear me. I hope you can’t. I don’t want you to get scared and to run. I don’t want you to think that you’ll hurt me in the end.” He squeezed her hand “I hate to admit it, but,” he couldn’t say it. Still couldn’t allow himself to admit it. He kissed her forehead “Crazy bitch that you are.” her eyes flickered open and looked at him

“Daryl. You came back” he smiled at her

“Yeah. Everyone is asleep. Rick wants to talk to you in the morning. Gonna probably have some tough questions.” Alex frowned.

“I’m sorry” she said. And drifted off to sleep again. Daryl narrowed his eyes. Sorry? What for? 

She slept through the night, and by morning he’d forgotten her words.

Rick sat down with her on the couch, where she was ordered to stay and rest. The others had gone to get water.

Daryl offered to stay but Alex had shaken her head. ‘We need this’ she had said.

“Where are you from?” Rick asked. Alex thought this was a pretty stupid question, but she answered anyway 

“Little village in Hertfordshire even people in England have never heard of. I know what you want to know. I know you’re confused about me and my attitude.” Rick’s eyes bored into her. Yes, he was. What did she know? “I moved from the UK to look for someone. Family.” She said “maybe two years before the world ended.” Rick’s eyes narrowed

“I did wonder why someone would move from Britain to Georgia. Why not New York or LA.”  Alex nodded

“Yeah it seems weird, I know. My dad, he was American. I had a brother, a half-brother. I shouldn’t have found out but I did, and I came to find him” 

“Tell me about after the ‘world ended’ he said “where have you been? Where were you going?” He was being nice enough. No shouting, no swearing. Though Alex was worried that what she said might change everything. 

“I started in Forsyth. Well, just outside. I heard my dad was from there so…”

“My dad was from Forsyth” Rick said suddenly. Alex licked her lips nervously

“Oh? How... Interesting.” She swallowed audibly. “Well, my dad had moved on long before, but I started there. It’s a nice place. Not very big.”

“Your mom’s British?” Alex nodded slowly 

“Ye-es” she shrugged “she was half and half. She shared citizenship, but settled in the UK after I was, er, conceived” she looked at Rick “does any of this matter now?” He didn’t answer a first, was lost in thought. She stayed silent. Looked at him, aching to know what he was thinking. 

“What’s your name” he asked finally. She looked at him blankly and he yelled the question again

“Your name!” She put her head down

“Alexis Grimes” she whispered into her lap Rick stood up, wiped his hands over his face, knelt in front of her, and got up again. Alex stared at her hands, Folded into her lap. She was the “black sheep” and she should have stayed at home.

“How?” He asked “why?” He was confused, understandably so. Another little miracle in his life after the Walkers took over. He found his family. His son survived being shot. His wife died in childbirth but Judith was thriving and now... Now.

He’d heard about his dad’s affair. Heard about the Brit he’d knocked up, the money he’d sent to England on an on and off monthly basis. 

Anger raged inside of him suddenly. How did she know? How did she find out about this?

“My husband kept talking about kids and I realised I didn’t have any family history.” She isn’t mention shed left without a word, that she felt a piece of her life was missing.

“We’re not related” Rick cut her off “I don’t know you. We are not family” Alex stood, wincing, she walked to Rick

“There’s more” she said “I need to tell you about a place I’ve been to”

“You’re not my...” He sat down “a sister?” 

“It doesn’t matter” she said sitting with him. “I think that ship has sailed now” she reached out to him but he pushed her hand away. “This place. It sounds like a dream come true but it’s hell. I need to save you from it, before you find it.” Rick wouldn’t look at her. The previous information still sinking in

“Rick!” She called, snapping her fingers in his face “who we are to each other is nothing” she put her hand to her head, a headache brewing again “it doesn’t matter now. But I need to warn you about this place!” He didn’t appear to even know she was there. Crap. Why didn’t she start with the safe place?

She went to the door, to leave, speak to someone who had their wits about them, when Rick was on her, he had her arm, and span her around, his face inches from hers.

“I cannot prove, either way, what you are or what you aren’t” he whispered gruffly “if this is you trying to get a foot in the door it’s not going to work” Alex shook her head

“Rick, it doesn’t matter! It Doesn’t MATTER! I never found you. I never tracked dad down. That part is OVER NOW.” She slid down the door, sitting on the floor slowly “it doesn’t matter now. This” she gestured between them “massive coincidence.” She shrugged “I stopped looking before the dead started getting up again” 

“You followed us” she nodded

“I didn’t know your name”

“You could have heard any number of conversations” 

“I could.” She shrugged again. Head pounding, elbow throbbing “it doesn’t matter”

“IT MATTERS!” Rick leaned over her, got in her face. She refused to feel intimidated “who are you working for?” He asked “who sent you? Where did you get the information?” She looked up at him, straight faced, as he glared at her. Blues eyes darkened with his mood. 

“I came to Georgia to find my brother.” She looked away from him “my mum told me my dad was dead when she died I was given a letter.” She looked up at him again “it’s in my pack” Rick waved a hand at her, ”Rick, we need to ignore that now.” She stood up,

Wobbled, “there is a place in Virginia that you guys need to know about” he looked at her then. Really looked at her. 

“What place?” He asked. Her stomach did a little Mexican wave, thankful she finally had his attention.

“It’s called Alexandria. It’s run by a woman called Deanna . Rick, they think they have this beautiful safe haven society but it is poison to be there.” She sat on the couch, feeling her brain might explode out of her head. “I was there for six months”

Rick sat with her. “They... They haven’t seen anything of the outside. They don’t know what it’s really like and they’re living like nothing happened.” 

“You knew about a safe place and never said a word” she shook her head

“Rick it’s not safe. It’s not! It’s insane. It’s like pretending the world hasn’t changed. It changed me in six months, turned me into this stupid... I had to get out. They send out scouts. I need you to promise me you won’t go there” The others were back. She could hear talk of fish in the pond. That was good. She would have food when they all left her.  She should have said something in the beginning, or not at all. 

“How can we trust you? How can we know? Especially now.”

“I didn’t know who you were either! I didn’t know what I was entering into when Daryl found me and brought me to you. I’ve met everything from cannibals to ego-maniacs... You learn to not trust people. I decided days ago to tell you but you wouldn’t give me the time of day because I am not one of you! You decided to give me a try. I should have told you all of this but, would you believe me?” She got up. “The others are back and I think we should talk this out together” She went for the door again, but it opened as she got there. 

“Told us what?” Daryl asked. Alex’s heart sank. They would all feel betrayed and she would be banished. 

“Leave us, just a moment” Rick said to Daryl. When he didn’t move Rick just stared at him “a moment, please?” Daryl nodded once and shut the door. He hadn’t even given Alex a second glance. “No one is to hear this from you” Rick said to her “you tell me, I will tell them” 

So she sat and took a deep breath, ready to talk him through.

“About 18 months ago, after the shit hit the fan with my group, I was hailed down by a really sweet guy called Aaron.”

_He showed her pictures._

_Men women children. Walls,_

_Tall and comforting walls!_

_She would have a home, a job, friends. She couldn’t refuse. She went with him._

_Her guns were taken from her and stored in the armoury. This didn’t strike her at first._

_They gave her a house. Her own house!_

“I didn’t know what to do with a whole house” she told Rick “I slept on the floor three nights running”

_They fussed over her accent, brought her home cooked meals._

“No one talked about outside” she told Rick. “It was like it wasn’t happening.”

_She had an interview with Deanna their leader, and she gave Alex a job._

“She ignored my request to be a scout or supply runner”

_As the amount of children was growing, they needed a teaching assistant._

_Alex argued. Deanna assured her she was perfect._

“But I noticed there were no watches” Rick’s face was questioning “there’s a watch tower, but it’s never used. People walk the streets unarmed and unaware. For the most part they got there at the beginning, they haven’t seen ANYTHING” 

_Alex began to forget herself,_

_Forget the outside. She was becoming as naive and blind as the rest of them._

_It was a few Months in that she asked to go on a run with the supply runners_

“They were fucking idiots” she remembered with a snort. “Foolish,

Took ridiculous risks,

Played games with the walkers and put themselves in danger unnecessarily. Because they are closed off and naive”

_She realised she had to get out. Before she became like them. She had already started to slip, to lose her skills._

_She left, late one night. Left her guns, but managed to pack plenty of food and weapons in her bag._

_The gate was unmanned. No watchers in the tower. She just walked out_

“I headed back this way, away from them. I began to see maps and signs relating to Terminus. I followed you there, a few days behind. By the time I got there it was burning, there was chaos.  

Rick looked at her with great interest

“We could take it” Alex nodded

“They are living wrapped in a false sense of security. Yes. We could take it.” Rick didn’t balk at her use of we. He looked hungry to go, eager to snatch this community

“Daryl Know?” Alex shook her head “you remember how it’s set out? Think you could draw a map?” Alex Smiled then

“Even better!” She said, and left the room. Rick followed and found her with her head in her bag “I have this” Rick took the papers she held out. Plans. 

“How did you...?” Alex smiled again 

“Oh you know... I’m not as unprepared as you might think” Rick tried not to smile.

“You need to make yourself scarce while I talk to the group” he said. “You look a bit peaky, perhaps you can go and rest while I explain” Alex looked at him for a moment. Slightly dismayed. She did feel like crap. “This doesn’t mean you are one of us. Yet” he said then. Alex gave a single nod to him as her heart fluttered, her shoulders lifted. 

Today was a good day. 

But she wanted to hear what he said to the others. She agreed to rest in the lounge while they conferred in the kitchen. If she was quiet, she might hear. “I have to run it by them. It’s our procedure. I like to take advice” Rick finished.

 

And so she sat, a bottle of water in one hand, a handful of painkillers in the other and she listened as her half-brother made her case. 

Rick didn’t mention their connection. She was right, it didn’t matter, though she knew he had heard rumours about her “in before” It didn’t matter. 

All that mattered now was surviving, being safe.

“She didn’t want us to find it and be drawn in” Rick was saying “We have underestimated her immensely. She didn’t say because she knew she needed to be heard before she did. Knew we’d have to take her seriously before we would be able to trust her judgement. She’s smart.” He showed them the plans Alex had given him “It’s surrounded by walls, but no one guards them, there are watch towers with no one in them. The residents were told to wait there for help and of course none came.” Daryl turned the plans so he could see them the right way up.

“We could sneak in at night, take over, or we could move in, take part, and take them down from inside.”

“It’ll be so easy to overrun” Carol added. “I say we take it. She said they don’t know what it’s like outside.”

Daryl looked up then 

“Could use the Woodbury tactic, send in walkers”

“No. She says there are women and children” Maggie chimed in “that was underhand and cruel. We’re not like him” 

“Why don’t we see what Alex says? She had six months with these people”

“Why did she walk out with plans” Glen said looking around at the others. “I mean. One girl, walked out with ideas to take over, or what?”

“The armoury” Daryl pointed at it on the plan. “It’s circled”

Rick stormed into the lounge and threw the plans in front of Alex 

“What is this?” Alex looked up at him

“They took my gun from me” she looked around and sighed “I was hoping I could find some people to help me get it back. That armoury is stocked ten feet high with guns that they don’t know how to use. What am I supposed to do with that information? Leave and let it go? Guns are getting scarce, biters are not” she threw her hands up in the air “why do you think I’m not to be trusted? I’ve told you everything from day one” she looked directly at Rick “give me a few days to get my arm in good use and I will be by your side until the day one of us dies.” She shrugged “tables have turned.  _You_  need  _me_  now” with that she headed up the stairs.


	6. The Most Awkward Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl falls in love in his own little Daryl way,  
> Rick Tells the group Alex's secret.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh and more smut :D

The next day Alex managed to get Daryl to take her fishing. It was a hard task, he was still barely talking to her, so she decided to play him at his own game. 

The atmosphere at the pond was horrific. The tension was ready to snap at any moment and they both seemed to know.

They threw back anything under 5lb in case they had to stay a while, though other than that decision no words were said. 

 

By around noon they had enough fish for a good meal, and as Daryl started to silently pack up and string the fish Alex started to undress. He looked at her sideways but said nothing. 

 

Once naked she edged down to the water and dived in. Daryl snorted to himself. 

She swam to the far edge and climbed out, standing on the rock she'd hit a few days before. Daryl watched as she performed some exercises with her left arm. Raising and dropping it, doing bicep curls, then she started to pick up rocks and throw them into the water with her left hand. She seemed to be getting better. He was pleased about that. 

After about ten minutes she dived in the water and swam back to him. He was almost ready to leave. 

 

“S'lot a noise, splashing and thrashing about.” He noted as she pulled on her trousers. “Gone bring those walkers out again and I'm'a have to save your sorry ass for a third time in two weeks” Alex just shrugged at him, and sat down to pull on her socks. “You know, you never thanked me the second time around” She picked up her shirt and pulled it over head.

 

“Thanks” she said, as she tucked it in. She looked at him, saw he was looking at her intensely. She felt her face flush. “R, really.” She stuttered “I'm... I'm really grateful” she looked away, grabbed her boots, pulled them on one by one.

Daryl had a million things he wanted to say, but couldn't find the words. He was certain he would forever save her life. As long as there was air in his lungs he would be there for her. If Rick had wanted her out he probably would have stayed with her. Maybe.

“Ok.” She said, jumping up “are we good to go?” 

They began to head back, silence spinning out between them. 

In a patch of sunlight, not far from the house, Alex stopped and turned to Daryl behind her. He reached her and went to ask:

“You hear somethin'” She shook her head and pulled him in to a hug. Again, he resisted at first, not used to the contact, but he relented, and she squeezed with all her might. He squeezed her back, and she heard him breathe in the scent of her hair. 

As they pulled apart she ran her hand down his arm and took his hand. She gave it a small, light squeeze, and let it go.

 

She turned away again with a smile, and led the way stealthily back to the house.

 

 

When they walked in Rick was on them instantly

 

“We need to check out this Alexandria.” He looked at Alex “without you” he said pointedly. Alex frowned at him, but shrugged

 

“Ok” she said. This was something Rick had to do, so be it. But Daryl wasn't so confident

 

“She can't stay on her own Rick, that's suicide” Alex looked at him

 

“Daryl, it's ok”

 

“No! It ain't. This ain't right” he took her arm (rather possessively, she thought) and looked at Rick “she comes with us. She knows it better than we do” Rick looked from Daryl to Alex and back again. He needed Daryl with him. But he was finding it so hard to trust Alex. Everything shed said so far... The secrets she'd kept for two weeks from them.  

 

“Is there anything else we need to know” he said to Alex. She thought a moment. Shook her head. 

 

“I trust you Rick. You guys have come through so much. If you have to do this without me, I understand.” She shrugged out from Daryl's arm.  “I'm willing to do whatever you need me to do” Daryl looked at her out the corner of his eye. Feeling foolishly proud of her. Rick kept trying to knock her down but she was dealing with him well. 

 

 

They needed supplies, vehicles. They hunted the house for a map and came up short. Daryl had little idea of where they were and Alex was mildly aware of the direction of Alexandria. 

They decided they needed to go out and look for the things they required, though they did not know how long or where it would take them. 

 

All 8 of them couldn't go, but in need of at least two cars, and Daryl's penchant for ‘bikes, Glenn, Daryl and Alex decided to go out. 

As they made their plans and packed their things, Rick and Carol were outside, walking the wall, checking for damage. 

 

“She's a good kid Rick, she hasn't put a foot wrong from what I've seen.” Rick snorted, pushing at the wall where he found a crack. It stood fast “what's going on?” Carol asked “you're not yourself” Rick appeared to be very interested in the grain on the bricks. He sighed. 

 

“She... She told me some things. I've a lot of stuff to think about” Carol put a hand on his arm.

 

“You should tell us. You know you should. Lighten the load, let us help” Rick sighed again.

“This one is on me Carol.” He shook his head and pushed away from the wall. “We found this girl, but it turns out she found us.” He turned to Carol.  “And she knows stuff about me that I thought no one alive knew anymore” Carol looked at him.

 

“Like what?” Rick shook his head again.

 

“I think she's my half sister”

Carol stepped back from him then. At first she was very angry, how could things just keep going Rick's way like this? She had lost everything and he kept coming up roses. Then she was sad for him. A long lost sister shows up in the midst of hell, and he can't help but assume she's got her information in underhanded ways.

 

“Could she be?” She asked

 

“She sure knows her stuff. My dad had an affair with a British woman when I was really small. I'd heard rumours, of course, but, I guess I refused to believe it.” He ran his hands through his hair “and now this woman turns up, all dark curly hair and my dad’s green eyes, and it doesn't cross my mind and she tells me her name is Grimes...” He visibly slouched. “I'm tired, I've gone over this in my head over and over. None of it makes sense, why should I be the guy who gets everything” he shook his head. 

 

“Have you told her you feel like the guy who has everything?” Carol asked

 

“I can't prove who she is”

 

“But why would she lie? I think this is one of those wonderful coincidences that keeps finding you Rick. I'd love to have just one.” Rick looked at Carol and smiled.

 

“I'm just lucky, is that what you're saying?” Carol smiled back at him

 

“We're going to head off” Glenn called walking down from the back door. “If we don't go soon it'll be too dark to set up camp before we get anywhere” Rick nodded 

 

“Ok, stay safe” Glenn went to walk away but stopped and turned 

 

“Alex found a shopping receipt, it has a shop address on.” He shrugged “it's a start” and headed off. Carol laughed quietly and patted Rick's arm.

 

“More than lucky.” She said and headed inside

 

 

 

They left the house and headed directly north, as the only thing they had to go on was the address of a store, which stated north road. 

 

They walked in an amiable silence for a while. Daryl taking point, Glenn bringing up the rear. Alex couldn't help but feel she was being wrapped in cotton wool a bit, but she kept her mouth shut. Now and then Daryl would stop them, listen, and move on as a rabbit scuttled by, or a lone walker ambled on its way in the distance. 

Alex was getting bored. Formation was boring. She'd never had to use it before and she didn't see the point. She wanted to say so but Glenn and Daryl were so intense, it kind of wore off on her. Eventually they found a road, which was a nice change of scenery. They kept the woods on their right, now heading north east. 

Daryl held his hand up and looked behind him. Alex mimicked the signal for Glenn. She could see what Daryl had spotted. Her heart dropped as her mind made up the scenario.

 

A car sat, diagonally, in the road. The boot was open, the driver and passenger doors were open. 

There were bodies on the floor. Alex counted at least two. Daryl crept forward, Alex and Glenn followed, crouched, poised. 

Daryl checked the bodies on the floor, when he established that both were dead he started to fish in their pockets. He found cigarettes and pocketed them. There was nothing else of interest. 

Glenn circled to the opposite side of the car and looked in carefully.

 

“Clear” he called, from the boot now. Alex looked around her.

 

“Something's wrong” she began as a walker stumbled onto the scene.  Her knife was in her hand and she stabbed it swiftly. Daryl looked at her 

 

“Jinx” he smiled, then offered her a cigarette. She snatched one from the pack with glee. As they smoked, Glenn checked the glove box of the car.

 

“Jackpot!” He called. Alex and Daryl, sharing a smoke in silence, looked up together. Glenn was waving a map in the air. Alex shielded her eyes against the sun and watched Glenn's ridiculously happy face. She started heading over to him, skirting the dead on the floor. She glanced down. They weren't walkers but still human. She motioned to Daryl and he nodded, once. 

 

“I know” he said. “C'mon, you wanna drive?” Alex looked back at the dead again, 

 

“Yeah” she said absently 

 

“I mean you can't navigate for shit, and the Asian ain't drivin'”

 

“That is still so funny” Glenn retaliated, faking a smile. Alex got in the car and started the engine. 

 

“A manual gear box, and half a tank of gas.” She smiled “best day of the apocalypse ever” she started the car and pointed it North East while Daryl scoured the map.

 

“No, he said 'turn 'er 'round” he pointed at the map. “Town about 20 miles down here, if there ain't nothin' there, there's a mall another 10 same way” Alex shuddered.

 

“A mall? With just three of us?” Daryl gave her a half smile 

 

“Let's hope there's still some supplies in town”

 

They drove on, Alex being slightly cautious, Daryl beside her, Glenn in the back.  The woods were now on their left and Alex strained to keep her eyes forward. On the right of the road were rows of trees and, according to the map, nothing else but fields beyond. 

Daryl ran his hand up her thigh. She looked at him sideways but kept driving. With Glenn in tow it really was neither the time nor the place. 

 

“Great, I just missed the sign” she said narrowing her eyes at Daryl, slowing the car.

 

“I think we're here” Glenn said from the rear seat. Daryl looked at the map

 

“Naw, we've only gone bout 5 miles” Alex had stopped the car.  There was a row of shops, windows broken, doors hanging on hinges now on their right. The road they idled on opened off to a row of parking spaces to the left. The woods boarded off with metal and concrete barriers. 

'Worth a quick look' Alex said, pulling the car in front of the stores.

 

“See anything?” She asked Daryl, who was scouring the area with his eyes through the windshield. He shook his head and got out of the car. Alex and Glenn followed. 

 

The noise of the engine hadn't brought anything out. They walked along the path and looked in to dusty windows. A general hardware, a pharmacy, a general store. Without a word between them they decided the general store should be their first port of call. Daryl ushered them both behind him at the door and looked in.

The dirt on the windows made it dark inside, and cool air was coming out into his face.  He had his knife in his hand and poised himself to strike, Glenn was doing the same. Alex held her knife in her hand, twisting it over and over with little jerks of her fingers. 

Daryl knocked lightly on the door frame and listened. All Alex could hear was the rush of her pulse in her ears and Glenn's breathing. 

A lone hand reached around the door frame for Daryl's face. Glenn moved around to the opposite side of the entrance as the walker stepped a foot forward too. Daryl killed it deftly, and Alex instantly saw why she had not heard anything.

Its throat was cut. 

“Stealth walkers. Great” Glenn whispered, Daryl shushed him and they waited to see if there were more.

When nothing happened, even after Daryl whistled into the dark, they edged in together. 

 

The store was split, conveniently, into three aisles. They took one each. 

Daryl walked his quickly and was heading for a door behind the counter when Alex heard him gasp. She was nearing the end of her own aisle, and she hurried to him, a walker with no legs and one arm had hold of his leg, another was closing in on his other side. 

Alex booted the one holding Daryl's leg as he thrust his knife into the temple of the other. She bent down to see that the throats were cut.

 

“What the hell?” She asked rhetorically, but Daryl had already moved on, his ear pressed hard against the door to the 'private' area at the back of the store. Glenn reached them, threw Alex a questioning look and she shrugged. 

 

“Psst” Daryl called, and they looked to him. He beckoned them forward and they both went to him, but he pushed Alex back a step as she approached. She shot him a very confused look, but he and Glenn were readying to open the door. Daryl reached for the door handle, and Glenn held his knife poised for what may be inside, waiting to feast on their flesh.  There was nothing but a desk, and an office chair with the stuffing spilling out. 

 

“What the hell was that?” Alex asked when she knew the building was clear. Daryl and Glenn turned to her. 

 

“Jus keepin ya outta harm’s way” Daryl could see she was fuming. 

 

“Gee, thanks” Glenn said sarcastically

 

“What the fuck?” Alex said over him “we look out for _each other_ , ok?” Daryl raised his hand, knife still in it but twisted away, the blade up his forarm,  and pointed at her

 

“You fell an hit ya head not 48 hours ago.” Alex knocked his finger out of her face and stepped into his personal space 

 

“Guys, save the domestic. We've got stuff to do” Glenn chimed in “this place is surprisingly well stocked” Alex and Daryl glared at each other another moment or two before Alex narrowed her eyes at him and followed Glenn back to the aisles. She heard Daryl mutter something as she went, but couldn't care less what it was.

 

They did a sweep of the store and got a lot of dry goods and even some bottled water before they decided to move on to the pharmacy. 

 

“I guess seeing as I'm clearly not needed, and a massive girly hindrance, I'll sit in the car and darn some socks” Alex hissed as they left the shop. “Geez” she opened the boot of the car and threw in the bottled water, shutting the door again gently. 

 

“It ain't that” Daryl started. He chewed his lip.

 

“Guys” Glenn interrupted with some urgency “come on, I'd like to not have to camp outside tonight” Alex stepped back onto the curb and next to Daryl 

 

“I'm fine” she said “all better” and walked past him to the door of the pharmacy.

 

This time she stood behind Glenn, and in front of Daryl as Glenn knocked on the doorframe. Instantly there was noise inside, things being knocked down. They readied themselves to fight, but it was a fox that came out. It ran from the door and sat in the parking spaces opposite the storefronts, its Amber eyes looking over them as if it may just be interested, then it hopped over the barrier, and was gone. 

 

They stood and listened for anything else, but Alex was convinced that anything else in there wouldn't make a sound. She thought about the slit throats, the needlessness of that single act. Eventually they straightened. If there was anything in the pharmacy, it wasn't coming out to them.

 

Daryl moved to the door opening, opposite Glenn, and together they edged into the unknown. 

Alex held her breath and listened as hard as she could, if any walkers were here would they have their throats cut too? Would they be able to silently creep up on the trio?

 

Again they split into three and took the aisles. Alex pulled her torch out so she could see better, the room was dark, cold despite the early spring heat outside. 

She heard the breathing of Glenn and Daryl, heard their soft slow steps. She closed her eyes and tilted her head, there was another noise. 

Shuffling. She opened her eyes wide and shone her torch about her. It was close, behind and to her left. Glenn!

She retraced her steps almost to the door and moved around to the aisle Glenn had taken. The walker was almost half way down, mere feet from Glenn's back. Alex crept behind it and stabbed it in the temple as it turned towards her. Another one with its throat slit. She stepped over it as Glenn turned to her

 

“Thanks” he said, and turned forward again. Alex nodded.

 

“Sure” and followed him, walking backwards, keeping her eyes on the door, the shelves. Maybe formation wasn't so bad. Where had that damned walker come from? She continued to move backward, slowly, knife raised. She couldn't hear Glenn breathing, must have finally shut his mouth.

She turned to face his back, turned to check where the end of the aisle was. Glenn was no longer there. She hurried forward, and something stepped out in front of her, 

She raised her knife, dancing out of arms reach, when another silent bastard joined the first. She hit the first one with the butt of her torch, yelling in pain as she did so, her elbow not really up to the Maglite’s weight. It fell back into its friend and Daryl appeared behind the pair of them. He stabbed the one immediately in front of him as Alex knifed the one she had already hit with the torch. She nodded at Daryl, no time for real pleasantries, and he nodded back before leading them farther into the darkness.

 

They found another door, private emblazoned on it in stick-on gold lettering. Daryl and Alex looked at each other. He gestured for her to go ahead. She put her ear to it, closed her eyes and concentrated. 

 

She opened her eyes and looked at Daryl in front of her. 

2, she signalled to him. She listened, just two. She took her ear away from the door, pulled her knife up to her ear and went for the door handle. Daryl crept closer, ready to strike at whatever lay beyond the door. 

 

Alex whipped it open and shone her torch inside. A walker limped into the doorway, arms out stretched and she stabbed it between the eyes. Her torch felt heavy, she felt she might drop it, but she gritted her teeth and held it up. She edged inwards, searching for the second walker. She could have sworn she heard two.

Then it grabbed her foot and she let out a disgusted breath. She tried to kick it off and lost her footing, falling to the floor in a heap. The walker climbed up her leg. She took a deep breath and kicked at it with her other foot. She looked up as Daryl stabbed it in the eye. He held out a hand to help her up, she took it and jumped to her feet.

 

“Glenn?” She asked, breathless. 

 

“Here” he said, appearing in the shadows. “Thanks, for before. I didn't even hear it” he smiled a small shy smile. Alex nodded at him and shone her torch around the room.

 

“The lab” she said, finally getting her breath back. “Perfect. Grab anything and everything, antibiotics end with cillin,” She heard Daryl snort to himself, but she ignored it. “I want to know why all these walkers’ throats are cut.” She said, looking over a shelf and grabbing bottles of pills. “And I want some painkillers for my elbow” she put her torch down and flexed her arm “it's fucking killing me”

 

They filled up a bag with antiseptics, antibiotics, painkillers and kids medicine. Alex went to pick it up, but Glenn grabbed it. She went to complain but he shook his head 

 

“It's ok,” he said “I got it” They walked to the car and hopped in. Daryl pulled out the cigarettes he’d found and offered them to Alex. She smiled gratefully, taking one and lit up from his offered lighter. 

 

“You ok?” He asked. She nodded

 

“Yeah”

 

“Was quite a yell, you sure?” She fished in her pocket and rattled a small pill bottle at him

 

“I'll be ok” she said, starting the car. “Where's this mall?” Daryl looked at the map 

 

“25 mile, the towns still up ahead. Might have what we need” Alex wriggled her toes

 

“Got a hole in my boot” she said putting the car in gear “need new ones, and a mall will have more chance of another vehicle.” She looked at him “anywhere on that map show a place to hole up? Sun'll be setting soon.”

 

\--------------------------------

 

As the sun set over the house they occupied, the rest of the group gathered in the kitchen. The last of the deer scraps, some pasta, more of Alex's canned vegetables, were on the table. 

 

“Last of the food” Carol said. “Hope they bring more back with them” Carl nodded 

 

“They will.” He said simply. 

 

Rick placed his hands flat on the table in front of him.

 

“There's something,” he paused “something I think you should all know” he looked up. All eyes were on him. “When I was a kid, my dad had an affair” Carl narrowed his eyes, but Rick continued “with a British woman visiting family.” Understanding dawned on Maggie's face but the rest were slow to catch on. “I found out, yesterday, that Alex was the product of the affair.”

 

“No way” Michonne was aghast. Carl just looked at his dad, confused. 

 

“Carl, I didn't know she got pregnant, I didn't know, not for sure. There were rumours, but a small town will do that about anything” Carl smiled

 

“I like her. I'm glad we're related”

 

“How does this always happen to you Maggie said. Carol put her hand on Maggie's shoulder. 

 

“Coincidence” Rick said. “Regardless of who she is she is still a stranger to us.” He swallowed “she came to Georgia looking for me, but after a year or so she gave up, and when the epidemic struck she assumed I was dead” he looked around the table. “I thought... You need to know.” He shrugged.  Maggie got up and left the room. Rick understood. She'd lost everyone but Glenn, and he kept getting lucky. She'd soon understand it wasn't Rick's fault.  “There's tension between us at the moment, and for what it's worth I need to let you know why.” He looked at Carl “do you understand son?” Carl nodded

 

“Yeah. It's ok though, dad. It'll be ok” Rick put his hand over his sons and smiled. 

 

\---------------------

 

"Why didn't you tell us about Alexandria sooner" Daryl asked, suddenly. They had a few miles still to go, he must have gotten bored of his own thoughts

 

"I didn't know if I could" Alex answered. "Didn't really know any of you" Daryl shrugged 

 

"Don't really know us now" Alex smiled at him

 

"Things move along a lot quicker these days. I know enough" She looked in the rear view at Glenn "I hear it took you and Maggie no more than five minutes to get on with being a couple" she looked back at Daryl "and you know what I thought of you when we met" she winked at him. "Alexandria is poisonous and I wanted to be sure you would listen to me. Not hear 'safe' and run off into the unknown."  Daryl put a hand on her knee

 

"I've always listened" he said. Alex flushed and Glenn, in the back, rolled his eyes. Daryl flushed right back and pulled his hand away, turning to his window. 

 

"This is, like, the most awkward ridiculous romance" Glenn said. Alex laughed at that as Daryl turned and told him to shut up and go to hell. 

 

"Here," Daryl said after a minute or two "turn down this road and it will be on the right" Sure enough it loomed in front of them, huge and threatening. 

 

"Probably ransacked, and even if not it'll be full of walkers" Glenn said.

 

"Fancy your chances in the car then?" Alex offered, pulling in front of the entrance. Glenn looked out of the window and noticed one or two walkers ambling around the expanse of carpark

 

"Yeah" he nodded "Actually, with those few walkers gone, I could find us another ride" Glenn and Daryl took out the walkers, and Alex began to approach the entrance. 

 

"How badly you need these goddamned shoes?" Daryl asked catching up with her. She lifted her foot and showed him. The soul and the upper around her instep was gaping

 

"Bloody walker's keep pulling on them, they don't last very long" she put her foot down. "Just a pair of boots," she said "Ooh and maybe clean underwear" she smiled dreamily. Daryl looked at her

 

"Wearin' dirty underwear girl?" Alex bit her lip and shook her head

 

"It was so dirty I had to throw it out" she whispered, and winked at him. He let out a growl from his throat, then composed himself again.

 

"Gettin' dark." He noticed "wanna find somewhere to stay and try in the Mornin'?" Alex looked around. Glenn had pulled a second car up next to the original one. 

 

"Where will we stay?" Daryl pointed at the cars. 

 

"It's quiet here, 'be alright" Alex nodded. And headed back to the vehicles. Daryl went to Glenn and let him know what was going to happen. Alex got in the backseat  of the car they found on the road, and as she got comfortable Daryl crawled in with her. 

 

"Lock the doors" he said, locking the one behind him. "Now, I need to see just how dire this underwear situation is" he wriggled back a little, lifted her shirt, and kissed her stomach. He ran his hands up her thighs and hooked his fingers in to the waist band of her jeans. Feeling a very familiar urgency in her, Alex lifted her hips towards him. 

He pulled her jeans open and, with some difficulty, pushed them down to her ankles. 'Bend ya knees' he said gruffly, and as she did so, he manoeuvred under her leg. He put his hands on the back of her thighs and pushed her along the backseat. She felt his breath on her aching wetness and it was almost more than she could bare.

"You always play with you food?" She asked breathless. He looked up at her

 

"Bite me" he said and she smiled a sly smile at him

 

"I wiII will if you will" he half smiled back and then buried his face in her. She threw her head back and cracked it on the door, but she didn't care. Daryl ran a rough finger down her slit, teasing the edges of her damp sex as his lips tongue and teeth worked her clit. She was vaguely aware that she might be moaning, she didn't much care. 

He shoved his finger inside her pussy and began to massage her g spot. The pleasure was almost instant, as Alex decided she'd found the best damn lover in the world. She jerked against his hand and mouth, bring her hips up to meet him, her thighs twitched, and the bastard stopped. 

He unhooked his own trousers and pulled Alex back down the backseat as she cursed him for being a tease. She sat up a little, pulled him close by his shirt, and kissed him deeply as he entered her. Whether it was the angle or the urgency with which they fucked, she didn't know, but she bit into his shoulder to keep from screaming, her nails dragged across his skin. As she felt familiar waves of spasms she squeezed her pussy around him in the hope he would know. He did, he sped up and thrusted harder, and after he came, he collapsed on top of her. 

She stroked his hair, softly caressed his back where she was sure she had left welts, Daryl was running a rough thumb across her right nipple over her shirt. She turned her head into his and kissed his forehead.

 


	7. Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'She didn't realise she had screamed until she felt Daryl's hand on her mouth.'
> 
> Trouble finds the trio on their run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight change of writing style, added in a 'Daryl's POV' I hope you don't mind, I felt it was needed.
> 
> Enjoy

She wasn't aware of falling asleep, or even drifting, until she woke with a start. Daryl was near on crushing her lungs. It was full dark out. 

 

There was a knocking, a scraping, Alex couldn't work anything out in her sleep fuzzy mind. 

Daryl moved in his sleep and Alex looked down at him. Then that scraping noise. What is that? 

She shuffled out from under him a little and twisted to the window behind her. Full of condensation. She smiled, 'steamin' up the windows' she thought. She pulled her sleeve over her fist and rubbed at the wetness there.

 

A face appeared, grey and falling apart. 

 

She didn't realise she had screamed until she felt Daryl's hand on her mouth. 

“Shhh” he mouthed. Alex's heart was beating too fast and hard in her chest, she was sure the walkers would hear it. Her mind instantly flashed to Glenn, alone in the other car, sweet sweet Glenn. She pulled Daryl's hand from her mouth and looked at him. He twisted her around, and held her back and shoulders to his chest. She could feel his heart also racing, and was somehow comforted that he was worried, too. 

There was a thud behind them, on the driver’s side rear door.  Alex put her head on Daryl's chest and whispered 

“How many?” He shook his head. He didn't know. “Do we wait?” He kissed the top of her head 

“Nothin' else for it” he whispered. He still sounded sleep addled. 

“Glenn” she said. Daryl didn't reply. 

 

\-----------------------

 

She wasn't sure how long she sat wrapped in Daryl's arms, watching the windows, breathing hard. The light changed, the temperature dropped, it was past three am. 

That was when the alarm started.

 

“They've bumped into a car, over there” Daryl pointed his arm past her head, she looked through the passenger front window. Orange lights glared on and off across the car park and a horn blared every second or two. “We should leave while we can” he unwrapped his arm from around her and began to climb in to the front. He grabbed the map and squinted at it. Alex watched the walkers as they left their Ford and shuffled to the one that was clearly of more interest to them.

Her mind went out to Glenn again, alone, in the other vehicle. But she heard an engine, assumed it was him, she let out a long breath she didn't realise she had been holding. 

“That ain't Glenn” Daryl said from the front. She snapped her head around to him

“What? How do you know?” He pointed out of the window, a black people carrier had come into the car park, it drove past the walkers and she heard gunshots, the walkers fell, one by one, to the floor.

The car Glenn had pulled up beside them was a red Toyota. 

Daryl ducked low in his seat and motioned Alex to do the same as the black vehicle swung around and headed again for the walkers. A few more shots were fired, then the car left. Daryl and Alex stayed low. These people had inadvertently saved their arses, but still Alex was wary. They could be anyone. There was a thump behind her and she scurried away from the drivers side rear door.

 

Glenn's face appeared. Daryl unwound the driver’s window 

“We have to leave” Glenn said, sounding breathless “now” Alex climbed into the passenger seat, and checked the bag she'd stowed there. Her Machete was readily available. She shoved her feet between her pack and Daryl's crossbow. Daryl shoved the map in her lap and demanded she get them out of here.  They heard the other car start up, and Daryl rolled out of the car park in darkness. Too cautious to turn on the headlights. 

 

Alex frowned at the map. 

“Anderson” she read. How long had they been in North Carolina? 

“Lead us back to Lake Wylie” Daryl huffed at her, like this was her fault. They hit the main road, and he turned on the lights, speeding through the night like a bat out of hell, Glenn was struggling to keep up. 

“Daryl” Alex said cautiously “we're losing Glenn” he didn't answer. Lost in his own head again. 

_‘Bitches get ya killed little brotha’_ Merle was taunting. _'Goddamn bitches get ya goddamn killed, boy!'_

Daryl shook his head.

_'What's goin on bro, fallin in love with the little chickie? You've fucked er four times and that's three times too many in the Dixon world!'_

Daryl's face turned angry and Alex decided not to talk at all anymore. Best let him stew, she'd learnt. The car pushed forward, speedo needle reaching higher and higher. 

_'You a fool in love little brotha. A god damned pussy whipped fool'_

Daryl growled. Alex looked at him sideways. Best not interrupt, bless him and his demons.

 

 She faced front again, and then there was a huge bang. Her head flew sideways towards Daryl, and there was the screeching of brakes and tyres, the smell of burnt rubber, her head flew back towards the passenger door and she braced herself for impact. 

 

Daryl was struggling with the wheel when the car abruptly stopped spinning. Alex and Daryl sat panting hard for a moment. Alex turned to ask Daryl if he was hurt when the driver’s door was yanked open, and Daryl was covered by hands, pulling him roughly from the car.

“The fuck offa me” Alex heard him say as an unfamiliar face appeared in the open doorway. 

“Oh ho ho” the stranger said “lookie what we have here!” The passenger door opened and now hands reached in for her, she tried to scrabble away towards the driver’s side, but the guy was still there with his impeccable smile and threatening demeanour. 

She kicked at the bodies trying to pull her out, she was pretty sure she caught one guy pretty hard, as she heard 'ah fuck'. But they refused to leave her be. 

 

The sun was beginning rise, as she was pulled from the car she noticed Glenn and Daryl were held by big burly men, their arms held behind their backs. She noted sadly that their weapons had been removed from their belts. She felt hands at her waist and panicked, kicking out, but a voice behind her said 

“Its ok darlin' just disarming ya” she looked at Daryl and Glenn. Daryl hard faced, Glenn clearly panicked but trying to be stoic. She stopped struggling and let them take her knife. Sweaty arms had hers behind her back. 

“So, in a bit of a hurry huh?” The first guy said to them. He was tall, slender, Christ no more than 20. “I'd ask what you're running from, but I guess after your pitiful behaviour at the mall, it might be us” he smiled his impeccable smile. Alex hated him instantly. Cocky little twerp, a 20 something who probably thought he was the mutts nuts  _before_  all his friends turned cannibal. She made a bet with herself that he'd crumble the minute someone stood up to him. 

“My name's Marco” he offered. “This is chuck” the guy holding Daryl, “dave” the guy holding Glenn, “and you my sweet, you're getting some good ol' Joey cuddles” the arms locking hers behind her squeezed and she heard a deep chuckle. She fought off the urge to shudder. It would just excite them further. 

“Finally, we have Steve and Jez” he spread his hands, then clapped them together, rubbing them before dropping his arms to his sides.  “and you guys are?” He asked. No one answered. He nodded. “Ok, I get that” Alex locked eyes with Daryl, still hard faced. She kept her eyes on him as “Marco” approached her and put his hand in her hair. He grabbed a fistful and pulled her head back. She didn't look away from Daryl. She found strength in his gaze. “Come on beautiful, tell Marco your name” Daryl shook his head, once, almost unnoticeably. Alex licked her lips but said nothing. The fist in her hair got tighter, but she said nothing.

“Ok” Marco let her go and turned away from her “we have to do this the hard way?” He shot back around and smacked Alex's face with his gun wielding hand. Glenn winced as her head rocked to one side, and Daryl struggled in the arms that held him. Alex turned her eyes back to Daryl. He stopped struggling. She held his gaze still, thinking. 6 of them, guns, and her and her comrades just 3 and unarmed, 

“I think you guys owe us at least a thank you” Marco was saying “I mean, we saved your sorry asses back there, stopped you getting eaten by monsters” he folded his arms and looked around. “Nothing?” He nodded “rude, who thought the apocalypse would make people so damned rude!” 

He rested his eyes on Alex. Then moved to include the others in his words. “Tell you what” he smiled that ridiculous smile. “1 hour with the mute Princess. And all will be forgotten and you can go on your way” Alex could hear Glenn's breathing, it had sped up. She continued to lock her gaze with Daryl, who also refused to look away, but at Marco's suggestion he tensed. Marco approached Alex then turned to the others. He ran the barrel of his little handgun down her cheek. “Oh the things I would do to this little cutie” he said quietly, watching for reaction. “I know she's not a prude” Alex raised an eyebrow at him, pulling her gaze away from Daryl for the first time. “Oh yeah, saw you with our friendly neighborhood druggie over there” Alex's heart dropped as Daryl again struggled against the arms restraining him.

Stop she thought stop he knows he's getting to you. She did the first thing she thought of to take their attention off her buddies. We look out for each other. She didn't need men to be ok. An idea was forming. It barely had legs but she moved on it.

“Just you” she said. Marco turned to her

“She speaks. And so beautifully” Daryl and Glenn's faces were questioning but she continued 

“Just you, Marco” she pronounced every word purposefully. Her soft lips taking their time to caress each syllable. She looked at the floor and up again under her lashes. She bit her lip. Men ate this shit up.

“I'm shy” she barely whispered. “And then you'll let my friends go?” Marco was all smiles. He reached for his crotch and Alex held in the heave that threatened to escape sarcastically and taunting from her mouth. 

Daryl was staring at her hard. As Marco turned away again, grinning like a fool, unable to believe his luck, Alex nodded at him once. She knew what she was doing.

“Just me?” Marco asked her. Alex nodded.  Marco rubbed his mouth with his hand, his cock already straining against his jeans. 

“Ok sweetheart, you're on” 

“Marco” one of the bigger men said “come on man that's not fair” Marco turned sharply to the voice. Alex had already forgotten their names. 

“She said just me, she's doing it for her friends” he looked back at Alex, and took her arm from Joey. “Come on babe, I know just the place” he shoved her forward, She stumbled a little. But then as she straightened she winked swiftly at Glenn and Daryl. “Clumsy little Darlin'“ Marco whispered. Alex could see the vehicle that had been in the mall car park. Not a people carrier, a black van.

Marco open the rear doors and shoved her inside. She caught a glimpse of guns as she fell to her knees and he laughed “well look at that, just where I want you.” He shut the doors behind them. To Alex's dismay she heard muffled gasps and then something that sounded like a carpet having the dust beaten out of it. Marco took her chin in his hand. 

“My boys are just taking precautions sweetheart.” Acid rose in her throat at his touch. But she smiled sweetly

“They won't hurt them?” She asked, eyes big and innocent 

“No, my boys're just making sure though, ok?” She nodded. Marco reached for his zipper and eased it down. Alex gritted her teeth in her closed mouth. “You hungry sweetheart?” She looked away, but he grabbed her hair and forced her to look, the hand with the gun at her right temple “Don't be shy” he said, his voice harsh and gruff “take it out” she swallowed and reached into his trousers, easing his cock out through the zipper. Her head span as shock hit, and her brain, rattled from the crash so soon after her fall, threatened to just cut out all of her senses. _‘If you let me down now brain, this dude’s going to have his way with your body’_ she thought _. ‘Wake the fuck up’_

“Go on” Marco was saying. “It's just us.” He licked his lips and moved forward, the top of his prick centimetres from her face. She grabbed the base of it and her brain swerved again. She looked up at him and opened her mouth. He looked at her a moment before tipping his head back. She leaned forward slowly, eyes still on him, and reached into her boot. 

The knife was there. She sighed and Marco sighed right back “oh yeah” he said “come on sweetheart, suck it like a lollipop” she was going to have to at least close her mouth. She took a deep breath but trained her eyes on his face, ensuring he remained in this pathetic state of ecstasy before she'd even touched him

What a knob

She closed her mouth and a single tear squeezed out of her eye as she remembered the first night with Daryl, the parallels were not lost on her. The gun in Marco’s hand flopped slightly as he relaxed. She pulled the knife slowly slowly from her boot and forced herself to Move her head forward. She heard a groan and hated herself. Still, so slowly, she brought the knife up next to her mouth. Constantly reminding herself that she was supposed to be sucking this kid off. He grabbed the back of her head roughly and whispered “yeah faster” she moved as he wanted, anything to keep his god damned eyes closed. 

Forward backward forward backward forward she raised the knife and slashed at him on her backward stroke, using her free hand to knock the gun wielding hand away from her head. His little prick came off in her mouth and she instantly spat it out, jumping up to face his silent scream. She slashed his throat before he could alert anyone. His hand still in her hair spasmed and his body began to sag. She grabbed him under the arms and lowered him to the floor. Shit, her elbow was screaming at her to stop, her ears were ringing, her brain had tried again to switch off when she honestly thought she’d been shot.

 

She lay the bastard on the floor, still squirming, gurgling. She looked at him, looking at her incredulous she stabbed him through the eye. She listened. The beatings outside had stopped, but the “boys” were teasing Daryl and Glenn, assuming she’d been killed. Daryl and Glenn, however, refused to rise to it. Good. Be strong guys. I’m Ok

She looked around at the guns in the back. Silencers. Good god this turned from the worst luck to the best in 5 seconds flat. 

She grabbed a couple of handguns, complete with an extra foot of silencer each, and crawled into the front of the van. She wondered briefly if she could see from here. 

In a word, not really. She could just make out a bald head, possibly holding on to her Daryl. Shit.

She reached for the door handle and pulled it oh so slowly. She held her breath as it clicked, looked behind her again. No one appeared to have heard. She got out and left the door open, crept towards their Ford. 

The doors were open. Brill. She edged to the passenger side and threw Daryl's cross bow over her shoulder, grabbed her Machete and tucked one of the guns in her trousers. 

Her mouth still tasted of sweat and tiny barely legal cock. Her brain did a somersault in her head and she had to close her eyes and breathe hard to keep from vomiting. She swallowed acid down and stood. She could see clearer from here. Daryl was still held but his head flopped, looking at the floor. Her heart broke in two. Glenn was not as bad, he still stood tall but it was clearly an effort.

 The man she assumed had been holding her, she didn't recognise his face, grabbed Daryl by the hair, and that was enough to get her moving again. She pulled up one of the guns and balanced her arms on the car roof. She closed an eye and lined up. The fat fuck wouldn't stop moving. She was better at throwing than shooting. Shit.

She took her shot and the fat bastard sank to the floor. Whew. 

“The fuck?” She heard one of the others say “what you doing Joey?” She had no time, she had to go hell for leather. She crept forward, sweat in her eyes, gun too heavy in her hands, and took down another burly fucker. The guy holding Daryl let go and turned toward the van. She shot him in the back of the head and Daryl fell to his knees. Her heart felt like lead to watch him, but she had to keep going. 4 down 2 to go, and Glenn was still being held by a gormless looking twat who hadn't quite caught on. She looked for the other guy, and realised he had got to the van.

Fuck. FUCK 

She ran forward now, Daryl still kneeling, Glenn still held up. She raised her machete and swiped at the guy holding him. Dave? Steve? She only grazed him but he let Glenn go. And turned to her, reaching for his belt. A gun? Alex didn't want to find out so she swiped again with her giant knife and slashed his arm

“Argh bitch” he yelled, forgetting his gun, he held his arms out toward her, as though to wring her neck. She looked at Glenn, he was in no fit state to help, and Daryl was still on the floor. She'd bitten off more than she could chew here. At least walkers were slow and thoughtless. She angled her body away from the big bastard and reached Glenn. She shoved a gun at him and stamped her foot

“Wake up Glenn, you gotta kill these freaks.” But now both the remaining captors had disappeared.

Shit. Shit!

Someone was tugging at her back, she turned and held up her knife. Daryl, pulling at his crossbow. She shrugged it off and the three now stood back to back, covering all bases. Clearly still in pain, clearly barely able to hold their weapons. Alex felt a warmth rise within her for these two men; one she barely knew, putting so much effort in to keeping all three of them safe.

They were breathing hard

“Hold your breath” she whispered. If she could just listen, if she could just hear... but the damned ringing.

There was a pop. Unmistakable. And then a fast, loud hissing.

Moments later the back doors of the van opened and Marco was unceremoniously thrown out as the engine started and the doors closed as the van fled the scene.

Alex felt Glenn and Daryl sag around her. She turned into the middle of their triangle and grabbed them both by the arm, dragging them to the cars. They had to get gone. Her elbow sent pains shooting up her arm, her brain wavered in and out over and over with the beat of her heart. She felt her head might just pop.

 

Then she remembered the noise. 

 

She pushed Daryl into the passenger side of the car and folded Glenn on to the rear seat. Then she grabbed her torch and looked over the car. They'd slashed one of the tyres. Balls! She kicked the flat and yelled. 

She went to the other car, also slashed. 

She took a deep breath and tried not to panic. She checked the tyre sizes on both cars 215 55 16 on the ford they'd found on the road about 100 years ago. She headed for the red Toyota

Come on come on be the same.

They were different. Too different.

Cock. 

She went to the Toyota's boot, but held out no hope. She knew there was no spare in the ford. She lifted the door and scoured in the early light. Nothing. Unless. She lifted the carpet on the boot floor. Shit. It was a bit dark. She felt around 

Yes, a spare wheel! 

With great effort, gritted teeth, she lifted it out and placed it next to the car, huffing and puffing hard. 

She needed tools, a wheel spanner. A jack. Crap. She had no idea how infested with walkers the area was, and Marco had shot his damned gun near her ear. She was tired, sick. 

She got up and headed into the Toyota’s boot again. She felt around, nothing. Lifted the carpet, and felt in the hole where the wheel was nothing. 

Shit. 

She threw the carpet down and sagged. She sat in the boot and held back tears of frustration, anger, hurt. 

Then she spied a cubby covered with a flap of that damn grey carpet. 

She pulled it down. Toolkit. 

She couldn't change a wheel in her state. She shut the boot and clambered into the front of ford. Glenn was asleep or passed out or for some other reason unconscious 

But Daryl

Daryl just glared at nothing between his knees. 

Alex lurched out of the door she'd just clambered in and vomited until her stomach was empty, then vomited some more. 

She pulled the door closed, locked it, and curled up on the seat. 

 

_Daryl_

_He stared hard at Alex, as this Marco prick grabbed her head. She stared right back._

_Keep ya eyes on me, he thought. It'll all be over soon baby._

'Come on little brotha, you need to get out of this'

 

_'Come on beautiful, tell Marco your name' the kid said. Still holding her gaze Daryl shook his head at Alex. Don't do it. Don't give them the damned satisfaction. She licked her lips but kept quiet._

_Daryl wanted nothing more than to cleave the fuckers head in two._

'Yeah, that big ol machete in the car do the trick, but it's in the car. How you gonna get it boy?'

 

_“Ok” Marco let Alex go and turned away from her Daryl breathed a sigh of relief, “We have to do this the hard way?”_

_But then the fucker shot back around and smacked her face with the hand holding the gun. Pistol whipped her. He heard a sharp intake of breath on his left. Glenn. He braced himself against the arms that held him and tried, God damn he tried, so hard to break free. Alex turned her eyes back to him. He stopped struggling. She held his gaze. She was ok._

 

'For now, you ain't gone save her strapped up to this ol' Nancy boy'

 

_'I think you guys owe us at least a thank you' Marco was saying 'I mean, we saved your sorry asses back there, stopped you getting eaten by monsters' he folded his arms and looked around. 'Nothing?' He nodded 'rude, who thought the apocalypse would make people so damned rude!'_

_He stood in front of Alex, then moved aside, including them all in his words._

_“Tell you what” he smiled a toothy grim smile that Daryl would have loved to knock right off his face “1 hour with the mute Princess. And all will be forgotten and you can go on your way” Daryl stiffened, if he could just get out of these fucking arms. Alex continued to look at him. He held her gaze but the longer this went on, the tougher it got._

_Marco approached Alex again, he turned and looked directly at Daryl, running the tip of his gun down her face. Get offa her! His head screamed. 'Oh the things I would do to this little cutie' Daryl felt sick, physically sick to his stomach. He knew Marco was watching for reaction. 'I know she's not a prude' Alex turned her eyes to Marco then and Daryl almost lost his cool. She looked away. Away. Without her eyes on him he felt suddenly and completely out of control 'Oh yeah, saw you with our friendly neighbourhood druggie over there' Daryl stamped his feet, grunted, twisted his body, to try and get free._

_“Just you” Alex said then. Daryl threw her a questioning look. The fuck? He thought. Marco turned to her_

_“She speaks. And so beautifully”_

_“Just you, Marco” she'd turned her sexy up to 11. In any other circumstances he'd have pounced on her himself. What was she doing?!?_

‘She's tryin'a help. Gone get her damned stupid ass kicked'

 

_She said something else. Daryl didn't catch it. “And then you'll let my friends go?” She asked louder. Daryl's heart split in two. She was sacrificing herself? For him? He was nothing. She was... She was everything._

'I may not always agree with the love thing, but she's a peach alright'  _Marco was all smiles. He reached for his crotch and Daryl just wanted to blow his little pecker off. He looked at Alex again. She gave the tiniest of smiles and nodded almost unnoticeably, as if she knew what she was doing._

_There were six men here. She was most likely to come out worse. She would definitely come out worse._

_'Just me?” Marco asked her. Alex nodded.  Marco rubbed his mouth with his hand. “Ok sweetheart, you're on”_

_“Marco” one of the bigger men said “come on man that's not fair” Marco turned sharply to the voice._

_“She said just me, she's doing it for her friends” Marco was touching her again. Daryl struggled against his captor but damn the guy was fucking huge. “Come on babe, I know just the place” he was shoving her forward, She stumbled a little. But then as she straightened she winked swiftly at Daryl. He was confused. Hurt and Angry. They went to the van and Daryl tried again to break free, and as the doors of the van closed he just lost his shit, kicking out and straining. One of the other guys stepped up and began to beat on him, punching his stomach, his chest, his face. He tried to hold him off, kick him away._

_That was when he heard the gunshot. The world went into slow-motion, and he flew into a frenzy against his captors, yelling, screaming at them to get the Hell off._

_But what was the point?_

_He was done._

 ‘No. Don't you dare give up. Dixon's never give up. Have I taught you nothin?'

_Then someone was in front of him, his swollen eyes couldn't make out who, wearing his crossbow. He tried to pluck it off. He was weak. His chest was sore._

_He was done. He was just... Finished._


	8. Chapter 8...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl comes to, the trio head back to the group and the safety of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was my absolute favourite so far. I am now a bit stuck, and have some more chapters written that need a lot of work - They've gone off course!  
> Anyway, enjoy my short Chapter 8 in the meantime.

Alex opened her eyes. Her throat was sore, dry, and her mouth tasted like sick. Her head was pounding, she tried to move, but it brought on a wave of nausea and she had to steady herself.

She reached into her pocket, found painkillers, and downed four of them dry. She waited as a fresh wave of nausea passed. With that done she looked around her

Daryl sat next to her, staring at his boots. Glenn was sleeping on the backseat. The car was stifling hot and stank of blood and illness. She got out, slowly slowly, reaching in to unlock the rear doors. She opened the door nearest Glenn's head and checked him over. No broken ribs. Just battered and bruised. That was ok. She headed for the boot and pulled out water, and antiseptic. she found a clean area on her shirt and cut it off with her small knife. she dampened the rag with antiseptic fluid and headed back in to Glenn, she wiped his face, his arms. She began to lift his shirt and he woke up

"No, Hey, What are you doing?" He asked. She looked at him, his eyes so swollen, nose possibly broken. She smiled

"Glenn, you have cuts. This is going to sting like a bastard but we can't risk infection" HE looked at her, tried to sit up, it clearly pained him. He reached for the sodden cloth, willing to sort himself out.

"Daryl, he's not good" He said then. Alex nodded

"Yeah, I know." She put a hand on the back of Glenn's head "You guys, you fought for me. I really appreciate everything you did" she kissed his forehead gently and Glenn tried a smile.

"I think you held your own" he croaked. "For what it's worth, I think you might be good for us" Alex smiled back at him

"Get those cuts cleaned. I'm going to see if I can get Daryl back down to Earth" She left the water in the footwell and gently shut the door. She crawled into the front again.

"Daryl?" He stared at his knees. "Daryl!?" Louder now. Nothing. She rested back on her heels, kneeling on the drivers seat. She chewed her lip. She needed to snap him out of this. She pushed on his shoulder. Nothing. Shit. She looked at his face, eyes a disgusting gnarled purple, bruises on his jaw, his breathing was shallow, wheezy. His head was bleeding from both temples. She sighed, pulling her hand back and motioning to slap the better looking side of his face. As her palm connected he turned and grabbed the tops of her arms at her sides with a strength he no longer looked like he had.

Enough to leave bruises.

He looked at her, though she could tell he didn't see her, just held her and vacantly stared with his swollen black eyes. "Daryl?" she asked, hoarse, wanting to cry, to scream at him to look at her.

"I can't do it no more" he said in a small cracked voice. "I can't protect no one. Not Beth, Not Alex. Not no one" Alex tried to raise her arm, bent it at the elbow at least, and reached for him, for his poor battered face. She cupped his chin in her palm

"Daryl, It's Alex. I'm Ok" he let her arms go and pulled his face away from her. "I need you to help me" she said, trying to make her voice hard "Those arseholes slashed a tyre on each car. there is a spare but I can't change the wheel on my own" she reached for him but he shrugged her off

"I'll help" Glenn said, then. Alex turned to him and smiled

"OK, Thanks" and got out of the car. She came back with antiseptic and more of her shirt rags for Daryl, and put them in his hand "Clean yourself up" she said, simply, then headed back to the Toyota as Glenn slowly got out the Ford.

 

"He's hurting" Glenn said, slowly rolling the spare wheel to where she kneeled by the slashed tyre.

"I know" she answered sadly

"No. You don't. He's lost a lot in the last few years" Alex nodded

"I know, he told me" she shoved the mini jack under the sill and began to twist the handle "Sophia, Merle, Beth, Hershel. I know" The car creaked as it stretched out of its springs. "He told me all of it" Glenn looked at her, but she wouldn't look back at him. "And this morning, I don't know if maybe he thought he was going to lose there too. Maybe he's angry that I Was stupid. Maybe he's angry that I insisted we go to the Mall" She wiped at her face, smearing the blood which had started to dry, Marco's around her mouth, Fat bastards on her forehead, some of her own on her bruised and swollen cheek. "I took us into a death trap" She sniffed, reached for the wheel brace "I'm sorry. Can you just hold the wheel steady for me?" Glenn put his hands either side of the old flat and Alex undid the nuts in silence. They pulled the wheel off together, then Glenn lifted on the new one.

"I think Daryl is just angry at Daryl" he said as Alex lowered the car. £Don't get me wrong, he will take it out on you, but it'll pass" Alex threw the jack in the passenger footwell and looked at Glenn

"Thanks. For your help"she headed to the ford and opened the boot, ready to move everything from one car to the other.

She worked in silence. When she reached into the passenger side, around Daryl's feet for her bag and his bow, she noticed he had used the rags and antiseptic. He looked like shit, but he was clean. He refused to look at her, she put her hand on his arm and he shrugged her off.

"We need to get in to the other car" she said quietly "We need to go back now" as he moved she tried to help him out, but again he shrugged her away, mumbling 

"'the fuck offa me" so she let him make his own way. He was bent almost double and it hurt to watch. He got in the back and lay down. Alex looked over the map, 

"We'll have to walk half a mile" she stated, and drove them home.

 

She stopped at a large broken gate that led into the woods around the house. Glenn got out, seeming better, Daryl was struggling. HE snatched his crossbow from Alex's outstretched hands and threw it on his back, Wincing. HE began to walk at a snail's pace, still bent over. Alex and Glenn grabbed what they could from the boot and followed. After a minute or two of silence Daryl stopped. Alex and Glenn had stayed behind him, out of his way. He turned to them, and stormed up to Alex, He pointed as best he could at her

"You" he spat blood, swallowed, and started again "You did this. You and ya damn fucking boots!" she didn't reply, just looked at him unflinching. He turned away, began to walk, turned back again. "Did ya fuck him?" Alex certainly wasn't going to answer that. Daryl instantly looked sorry, dragging his eyes from hers

"Daryl" Glenn started

"Shut ya mouth Glenn" Daryl looked at Alex again. "You coulda got us killed you stupid bitch" She still refused to act threatened. It seemed to make him angrier, but if he needed to be angry that was fine

"We need to get back to the others, and get rested" she said then. "You can be as angry as you like with me Daryl," he turned away with a huff and began to walk. She caught up to him, stood in front of him "You can be as angry as you like. I don't blame you. It was not your fault. You do what you need, you feel how you have to feel, but don't you dare blame yourself for anything that happened this morning" Daryl looked at her, his face began to soften and she was about to smile when he answered her

"Dumb bitch. You don't know nothin'. I don't blame myself, it's your fault. Too fuckin' precious to have a whole in ya damn shoe for a few days. Maybe you should stop climbing trees, stop dancing through life like it's nothin' and started acting like there's  actually danger 'round every goddamned corner they'd last a bit longer." Alex put a hand on his chest as he tried to storm off.

"I didn't ask to be brought here."

"Ain't no one forcin' ya ta stay"

"We needed a second car" she said, unable to let him just dig into her.

"yeah? and how many do we have now?" 

With that he walked around her. she looked at Glenn, who shrugged, and they went on their way.


	9. Still Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's acting crazy because he doesn't know how else to react"
> 
> The group need to leave their makeshift home, and fast. Onward to Alexandria

When they reached the house it was instant chaos. The group saw the mess they were in and there was Shouting, questions, it was too much. Daryl disappeared into the kitchen and Glenn and Alex tried to explain what had happened. Maggie and Alex helped Glenn to sit in the lounge. 

“We found a car, on the road” Alex started. “Glenn found a map,” she explained everything. Even how Daryl had been catatonic, and now very angry. Rick eyed her carefully

“He touch you? Force you to do anything?” Alex nodded 

“Ok. I'm 33, you can say the actual words. No he didn”t rape me yes I had to “do things” but you have to do all sorts of crazy shit these days to stay alive.” She looked around “I chopped off his dick” Glenn looked at her 

“You chopped off his dick?” She nodded

“It was all part of the plan. I had a knife in my boot they hadn't taken off me. Lucky it didn't fall out the flipping hole, which is what got us in this mess to start with” she looked at her boots. 

“It's not your fault” Glenn said. Alex looked at him and smiled gratefully 

“Yeah. Thanks” she then headed off to find Daryl. 

Rick looked to the others and nodded, she was one of them. She had earned her place.

 

“Daryl?” She called entering the kitchen “think you'll be more comfy upstairs in bed” he didn't look at her. She could understand that. “You look like shit” she sat next to him. 

“Feel worse” he grunted. She nodded 

“I'm sure you do” 

“I couldn't catch up” he said then, and though Alex didn't know what he meant she smiled and nodded

“I know. You tried” Daryl was looking at his hands, fiddling on the table top

“Did he hurt you?” He asked quietly. Alex shook her head and stroked Daryl's hair from his eyes

“No. He didn't.” He didn't pull away from her touch, and her heart healed a little “I chopped his little prick off” she whispered, and Daryl looked at her sideways. She grinned, and he smiled, and it felt like everything was going to be ok. She stood, kissed his temple gently, 

“We both need to rest. My brain got rattled in that T-boning, and you haven't hardly slept in days.” She held her hands out to him “come on, to bed” He stood, and she put her arm around his waist, pulling his over her shoulder. More parallels to her first few nights with them, but she liked this one more than the last. 

 

She left him to get into bed and headed downstairs to see if they needed anything.

“Alex” Rick took her to one side “did these men seem like they may come back?” 

“No” she said, thinking “they were pretty shit up, I killed four of them, though there may be more hiding wherever they're holed up. I think they might be staying at the mall. They knew our cars weren't there before, and they came and killed all those walkers out of nowhere.” She sighed “it's a shame, I really need new shoes” 

“What did they want?” She shrugged

“As far as I could tell they were just looking for a good night, a fight and a gangbang, you know. Kicks” she smiled at him “they got their kicks alright” Rick put a hand on her shoulder

“You saved the lives of two of the group this morning. I want to thank you, let you know that you are clearly 'good people'' Alex shook her head

“If it wasn't for me we wouldn't have been there” Rick shrugged

“Well, you needed a car, and it's a good place to find one.” He looked her over “go and get some rest. You look like hell. And maybe take a dip tomorrow morning. You have vomit in your hair” Alex flushed a little

“Yeah. Well. You know.” And she headed for the stairs. 

Daryl was in bed, but awake. 

“A whole bed to yourself” she smiled at him. He didn't offer a response. “Think you may have a cracked rib” she sat on the bed “the bruising here” she touched him just under the left pec, he winced “sorry, the bruising would suggest a cracked rib” she pulled her hand away. “Going to be laid up for a while. No hunting, no tracking.” Daryl looked at her. 

“I need to get some sleep” he said, before turning his back to her. As he did so she got up, and he raised the sheet up his back as far as he could. This hurt Alex more than anything else ever could. He was hiding from her. 

“Daryl, I”

“I need to get my rest” he cut her off. She left the room without another word. She headed downstairs and everyone was gone, most likely to the car to collect the rest of their haul, so she lay on the couch to get her own rest. She assumed she'd missed Glenn heading for one of the bedrooms. 

She thought about Daryl and what could be making him behave so strangely. Did he feel emasculated? Did he feel scared? Nothing made sense to her about his behaviour. At best for now she could leave him to himself, back off and let him get over it.

 -------------------------------------------

 

It was days before they could even try and find another vehicle. Daryl and Glenn were on strict instructions to rest, though her head still ached almost all the time, Alex got on with the day to day. Cooking, hunting, pitching in where she could. 

 

Michonne and Rick approached her one afternoon, Judith on her hip, can of coffee in her hand

“We need another car” Rick said. “We need to start thinking about leaving.” she nodded 

“Me and you” Michonne said “you know where the mall was, we’ll pick up a car and come right back” Alex pondered it a moment

“They might still be there.” She chewed her lip. “Ok. Grab a car and come right back. What if they follow us, again?” Michonne shook her head 

“I think we'll be ok if we get in and get out” Alex nodded.

“Yeah. Ok” 

“You go in daylight, stay far away from anything undercover, anywhere they could hide.” Rick was saying. Alex was setting Judith down on the floor. 

She hadn't spoken to Daryl for at least three days, he barely came out of his room. Carol had been in, Rick had been in. He didn't appear to have asked after her, though she did make an effort to ask after him. He was fine, healing well, she was told. 

“Let’s go then” Alex said, wondering if they'd ever see everyone again. 

 

That was stupid. She knew that was stupid. Lying to herself. She was really wondering if she'd ever see Daryl again. Wondering if she'd ever look into those dark blue eyes, if she'd ever feel his calloused hands, if she'd ever get the chance to tell the stubborn bastard that she'd fallen madly in - fucking - love with him. 

She sighed. They were making the short walk to the car, Michonne asked her

“What's the matter? You've been off for days, not your usual nutty self.” Alex smiled at her

“It's nothing. Everything. I don't know” they reached the Toyota and got in. 

“Rough couple of days” she went on “you know?” Michonne nodded.

“Oh I know.” 

“I was hoping to speak with Carol.” Alex added, twisting together the wires under the steering column. “She knows Daryl pretty well.” She laughed as the car started. And Michonne twisted in her set to look at her.

“Daryl? You're upset over Daryl?” Alex nodded “Not rape, or weirdos, or men out for your blood, not walkers or running all the time. Daryl” Alex didn't answer.  ”You are not much like your brother, that's for sure” Alex slammed on the brakes

“What?!” Michonne had twisted back to face front, she looked at Alex again

“Rick told us. We're a family unit, he thought we should know” Alex drove forward again

“Shit” she handed Michonne the map from the dash “we're heading to here. I didn't know you all knew. Crazy coincidence, right? I know why he refused to believe it. It's one of those things, you stop searching and find what you were searching for” Michonne was nodding

“Uh huh. A brother and a lover all in one month.” Alex fought the urge to brake again. She looked at Michonne, who was smiling. Alex shook her head.

“Oh no. No.”

“He's acting crazy because he doesn't know how else to react” Alex was smiling despite herself

“No” Michonne smiled back

“Oh yeah, but He'll come around.” Alex reached out a hand to Michonne, and Michonne took it, squeezing it.

“It is so good to have a girly chat, do you know that? Never thought I'd have one ever again. Thank you” Michonne let her hand go. 

“It's ok. We're still human even if the world has gone to hell.”

 

The mall carpark appeared empty, but Alex insisted on pulling up close to potential vehicles. 

The first one wouldn't start, the next was full of blood. Alex wondered who the people might have been. If they were killed by walkers or people. She shook the thoughts away. She couldn't get sentimental. She had a job to do for Christ's sake. 

She pulled up to a third car, and Michonne jumped out, pulling her sword from her lap. Alex saw a single walker across the car park, but one was fine, no point wasting time or energy. She jumped as the car next to her started, Michonne had done it. She looked over and she was smiling, revving the engine, Alex looked forward again, readying to put the car in drive and get out. As she looked ahead the walker threw its head back and crumbled to the floor. 

What?

Then something pinged against the roof, the windscreen. Shotgun? She knew instantly that their friends had come back, Marcos gang were at the mall, too, and they had opened fire. Michonne was already moving, Alex sped behind her as fast as she could, hoping more than ever that they wouldn't be followed, wishing she had someone in the car with her. She over took Michonne at the exit to lead the way back, eyes constantly in the mirrors. 

Nothing appeared to be following... But they didn't see them last time either. 

Her head pounded, heart hammering in her chest. This wasn't like her, she didn't get scared like this. She was Alexis Grimes, she travelled half the world leaving everything behind to find a brother she didn't know, she didn't do fear

But since Daryl...

She shook her head, not willing to go down that road.

 

\------------------------------

 

Daryl was sitting in bed. Feeling a thousand times better and eager to get out and get back to himself. He hated being laid up and useless. It wasn't him. 

Rick had been in, told him what was happening, told him to get his head back in the game. 

“You can't help feelings” he had said. “You gotta just accept it and move forward” Daryl had grunted, Rick had pushed on it though. Daryl just wanted him to leave, to shut up and go. He had successfully not thought about Alex for ten minutes. 

“Love is crazy. I told you that. You just need accept it. The quicker you do, the easier it'll get to just be you again” Daryl went to argue, but Rick stopped him, tilting his head to one side, raising his eyebrows. Daryl nodded, once, but said nothing. Rick firmly patted his shoulder and got up to leave. As he reached the door Daryl called to him.

“She makes me weak” Rick shook his head

“If you embrace it, love will make you strong” and had left.

Now Daryl sat in bed wondering if he should tell her. Wondering if he should just try and get back to normal with her and not say anything. He butted the headboard and huffed. 

He threw back the covers and got up, got dressed, she'd be back soon, and they'd have to make their trek to Alexandria, and maybe in a safe walled place it would be easier. Love makes you stronger. He snorted. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Alex looked in the rear-view, the wing mirror, and the rear view again. They'd tboned them before, shit. She looked out of the side windows. 

Michonne was keeping up well, but at this speed they were wasting precious fuel. They were still a good ten miles from the house. 

Ten miles in ten minutes and save their lives, or ten miles in twenty minutes and save their fuel? 

She looked in the rear-view, the wing mirror, and out her side windows again. Nothing. Her chest felt tight and she had to keep flexing her fingers to keep from gripping the steering wheel. What would they do if they came? She daren't think about it. She'd only brought her small knife and her stick. My god she was stupid. 

Stupid. 

She looked in the rear-view and the wing mirror. Nothing. She faced front and then she saw it.

 

Crashed, on its side, the van loomed on her left. She slowed her car, pulled up beside it. Michonne followed,

Her face questioning. 

Alex got out of the Toyota and drew her knife. Michonne stepped gingerly from the other car. 

“Alex?” She asked in hushed tones “this them?” Alex nodded, edging around the vehicle, light on her feet so as to make no noise. “We should go” 

Alex looked at Michonne and shook her head “Alex there are no skid marks, this wasn't an accident, this car was tipped over”

“Maybe by walkers... Michonne they had a lot of guns, we could use a lot of guns” Michonne rolled her eyes

“We're about to go and rob an armoury girl. Get back in the car” Alex refused, instead walking towards the back doors of the van. 

She put her ear to them, closed her eyes. She heard the unmistakable sound of a walker eating. She opened her eyes again and looked at Michonne. 

“One walker. One. Come on, we need this” Michonne drew her sword as Alex went for the door handle, she looked back to see if Michonne was ready. Michonne watched Alex's eyes widen and heard the shuffling behind her. She span and sliced the walkers head in two. She sheathed her sword and grabbed Alex's arm, dragging her from the van back to the cars

“Get in and stop being stupid. We need to leave”

“His throat was slit” Alex said “who the hell is slitting their throats so they can sneak up on people?!?” Michonne had no answer. She headed back to her car but Alex was too curious to just leave. 

If the arseholes from the mall were here, who was shooting at them? If these were the same guys that tried to kidnap them... She headed back for the van, ignoring Michonne's wide bright glare through the windshield. She drew her knife again, happy that the javelin type stick was strapped to her back. 

She reached for the handle and let the door fall to the road with a crash. One walker, one very dead fat bastard. How did the walker get in? The doors were shut. 

She dodged the walker’s outstretched arms as it lurched towards her, stabbing it in the side of the head. 

She clambered in the back of the van and stabbed the dead human for good measure. 

She stood on the floor/side of the van and looked around. No guns. That was disappointing. She hopped back out and studied the two walkers on the road. Both with their damn throats cut. What the hell? Michonne appeared beside her. 

“Why would people do this?”

“Didn't you cut that rapist's throat?”  Alex nodded. 

“Uh huh, but that was... Different you know?” She crossed her arms. 

“Someone wants them silent. Are they maybe being used for something?” Michonne shook her head

“Then why aren't they all kept together?” Alex took a closer look at the walker from the van. 

“How did he get in?” She asked Michonne “I mean, the doors were all shut. “

“Died in the van?”

“Or put there” Alex tapped her knife on her thigh. “Gang members didn't do as planned, get the silent walker treatment. Told to go on a mission, a run, whatever, Mr Walker is in the back of the van waiting for dinner.” Michonne pulled a disgusted face. 

“People are gruesome” Alex nodded.

“That guy on the floor, walker food, he was holding onto Glenn that night. I slashed him a couple of times but he got away.” Michonne looked around her

“Let’s get going. There's no guns to be had here” 

 

It was on the short walk back to the house that they heard gun shots. Instinctively they both crouched low to the ground. 

“2.2” Alex said. “We need to get back” and she ran, still low into the distance.  Shots fired off around them, far, but too close for comfort. They knifed through the cables holding the gates together and flew into the house. The others were already packing frantically.

“The echo will bring walkers this way” Rick said, hefting Judith on to his hip. “We go and we go now” Alex's pack was in the Toyota, she was ready. She saw Daryl struggling with his crossbow, reaching his arms up was difficult, she wanted so badly to help, but Carol was there, and she helped him out with a gentleness Alex had never seen in her before. An Alpha female streak of possession rose in her and she forced it down. No time for feelings, just time to leave.

“Cars are five maybe ten minutes away. Come on” she said heading out of the door. She looked back briefly at the house as people tore past her into the woods. She realised she would have to lead these people, show them the way to Alexandria. She wasn't much of a leader. She was only just learning how to be a team player. 

Still, she turned her back on the only home she knew and headed into the trees. 

She dodged a single walker before she got to the group, a woman in a flowery dress with half a face and scraggy hair. She could hear more, but they were heading for the gunshots, the reverb echoing off the walls of the house. 

It would be overrun in minutes. 

No one would live there again.


	10. Just don't say the L word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can only promise I will try.
> 
> Alex makes a tough decision as Alexandria looms before them

They piled in the cars without much trouble. The Toyota was too small for a comfortable five, so Alex, Daryl Michonne and Carl got in. The other car was bigger, better equipped, and took Rick, Glenn, Maggie, Carol and Judith.  Daryl scoured the map, picked out possible places to stop for food, fuel, sleep. Alex just hit the road, having a vague idea which way from looking at that damned map so much in the last few days. 

“How far?” Carl asked from the back seat. Alex shrugged her shoulders

“6 hours, maybe 7” she looked across at Daryl “I have under half a tank of gas.” She said pointedly “it's going to take a whole one to go 400 miles” He nodded, but didn't look at her. This was going to be a fun journey. “Do we take small roads or larger ones?” She asked him. 

“They're all over run. I think we hit small roads until we need things, gas, then we can hit a large road, more chance of abandoned cars.” Alex nodded, and headed the car to a small forest road, narrow, quiet. She didn't like the small roads, not anymore. Anything could hide around a blind bend.

 

They drove for over an hour before stopping. Now just inside North Carolina. Alex pulled over and Rick nosed in next to her. Daryl unwound the window and he and Rick spoke quietly. 

“Ok. We head to a main road, get some gas, Daryl seems to think there may be somewhere to hole up not too far” Rick said so all could hear. “We'll carry on in the morning, get in to Virginia, and make our plan.” He nodded at Daryl. “We need to be well rested.” He wound up his window and Alex pulled away. She kept flicking her eyes to Daryl, Daryl kept looking straight out of the window. He was quick enough to dive in the front seat with her, but then he had his views on her navigational skills, and probably didn't want them getting lost. 

Still. He was here. That was good. 

“There any CDs in the glove box?” She asked him. He grunted and pulled the compartment open. There wasn't much selection. A greatest hits from some disco group in the 70s and a dance album. Alex pulled a face “eew, never mind” 

“What music do you like?” Carl asked her. She looked at him in the rear-view 

“Oh I liked metal, and Rock music. Anything with kick arse guitar riffs and loud vocals mostly. But sometimes these bands pull something beautiful out of the bag, no guitars, just a piano and a vocal.” She smiled. “And it's like poetry.”  That brought Beth to Daryl's mind and he turned to look out of the side window. He put his hand to his mouth, chewed his thumb.  “I was in a band” she continued “singer in a rock group” she smiled at Carl. “What music did you like?” He shook his head at her

“I was just a kid, when all this started. I didn’t get much in to music.” Alex felt so bad for him. Music had always helped her out, whatever she was feeling she could throw on her headphones and rock it out or sit and wallow in her mood. She looked at Daryl, still chewing on his hand, still staring out the window. 

“What about you?” He shook his head “no?” He looked at her again 

“S ‘just noise” he said and turned away. Alex rolled her eyes at him

“Come on, you believe that?” He didn't answer. She wanted to slam on the brakes, bash his god damned head against the windscreen. 

“Daryl” she said instead. He looked at her, pulled his hand from his face and his foot off the seat

“Hmph “he shrugged Alex bit back the retaliation, and just drove towards the highway. 

 

 

“We'll have to double back to get out” Rick said re-joining the group after walking the highway a little. “It's blocked and we aren’t getting through without a bulldozer” Daryl was hunting through car boots for pipes or hoses to siphon fuel with. Michonne and Carl were just hunting through car boots. Playing some kind of game. She could hear them laughing. It sounded so good. Alex couldn't see Glenn and Maggie. Carol stood next to her holding Judith. 

“Babies” Alex said to her “never thought I'd see another. Never thought I'd be so sure not to have my own.” Carol looked at her as she tickled Judith's chin. 

“You think this is the end?” She asked Alex “that Judith and Carl will be the last ones?” Alex shrugged 

“Can't bring a baby in to this” she said, holding her arms out for Judith “you just can't” Carol shook her head in disbelief, handing Judith over 

“This is a new world, not the end of the world. You go back 10,000 years and people were having kids in all kinds of situations.” She stroked Judith's head and smiled “When we find a safe place to stay you'll see. Glenn and Maggie will have a baby, maybe you'll have one” Alex laughed 

“I can't see me wielding a knife and pushing a pram.” She sighed “and who would have a baby with me?”  Carol looked at her with a half-smile “no” Alex answered her wordless indication.

“You should have seen him when this one was born.” Carol removed her hand from Judith's head as Daryl approached shaking two Gerry cans

“Got gas. Where's the map?” He put one of the cans down and ruffled Judith's hair. Alex watched with great interest. Babies. Walkers and babies and knives and guns and babies. She couldn't envision tomorrow, let alone a future with children. She realise she was staring at Daryl when he caught her eye. She felt herself flush “map?” He asked again. She pointed at the Toyota, pondering Daryl the dad. She had to laugh at that. Carol and Daryl both looked at her giggling but she didn't care. She felt crazy. She'd had a moment of normal thinking in a mad world and it made her laugh. So she laughed.

 They headed back to the back roads and kept an eye out for somewhere to stay. Rain began to softly fall on the windscreen as they drove. Alex squinted through the droplets, not wanting to wear out the wipers, just in case they had the car for a while. 

“Here” Daryl said suddenly “turn down here looks like a driveway.” So she turned, and the others followed. They came up to a house with no front door, no windows, and walkers occupying the garden. Daryl made her drive past, in the hope they'd find an outhouse, a garage, anything. But nothing showed, so they headed back to the road. It was half hour before Daryl said again “turn in here” They drove a bumpy track that led to a farm. The house was grand, but they decided not to risk such a large space, so they opted for the barn instead. They pulled the cars up beside it, and Daryl, Glenn and Rick checked it out inside. While they did Alex noticed Maggie looking around, tears on her cheeks. 

“Maggie?” She approached her, and Maggie wiped her face and straightened up. 

“I used to live somewhere like this” she smiled sadly “feels like a hundred years ago” Alex put her arm around Maggie's shoulders and squeezed her gently 

“I'm sorry. Daryl told me about Beth, and your dad. Your step mum and your brother. I'm so sorry.”

“I met Glenn at my daddy's farm” Maggie wiped her face again “I thought... I thought we'd all be together you know?” She smiled sadly again at Alex. “I don't normally get like this, that was Beth’s thing. I try not to remember”

“You have to remember” Alex cut her off “how can they live on if not in your memory?”

“Barn's clear, but it needs to be secured” Rick said approaching them.  ”There's a loft, a mezzanine, which goes all the way around so we can keep watch through those top windows. Alex would you mind going with Daryl to secure the parameter?” Alex nodded and took herself to the barn. Rick put an arm around Maggie's shoulders, asking how she was. She just nodded at him before turning to find Glenn. 

 

Daryl didn't acknowledge Alex when she came to find him. Just got up and lead her out to the woods. She didn't much know what they were looking for, but when Daryl started collecting broken branches so did she. She gathered they were going to fence themselves in. 

“You break anymore sticks under your feet and walkers will just crash through here” he didn't look at her, just picked up a large stick and turned and headed back.  Alex didn't follow straight off. His mood swings were really confusing her. One minute he was devastated she had died, then he was angry with her because she hadn't.  She could still hear him crunching away in the distance. Bloody idiot.

She began to follow him, quietly as she could, hefting four fallen branches on her shoulder. God they were heavy. She shrugged them up, and pushed forward, mildly aware that it had begun to rain again. If a walker comes I'm completely screwed, she thought to herself. What am I going to do, throw branches at them? 

She followed Daryl's clear trail a little way, and was struck by how stupid he was being. People could track, she'd never done it before coming to Georgia and now she was pretty

Good. What if people found his trail? She started trying to cover it up, kicking broken sticks away, dragging leaves and dirt into his footprints. 

Why was he being so careless? 

She caught up to him, despite her lagging behind. He was stood with his back against a tree, watching her walk towards him. His branches were on the floor at his feet. 

“Holdin' us up” he accused.

“Covering your damned tracks” she hissed at him “you say I'm stupid, but you left a trail a mile long!” He smirked, leaning for his makeshift fence posts

“Just wanted to make sure you could find me” she faked a silent laugh at him and pushed by him. 

“You could have put us in a lot of danger” at that he snorted, and turned to follow her 

“Says you” Alex stopped, gritted her teeth, but said nothing. This guy loved an argument and she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he got to her. She started off again. “What, nothin' to say? Or can you just not talk your way out of this?” He snickered “can only talk yourself into trouble” Alex turned to him, dropping her branches, and he nearly crashed into her. She put her palms on his chest and pushed him backwards out of her space. He winced but she didn't care. He'd crossed a line now and there was no making her feel guilty about it. 

“I had to talk myself into possible danger to get us all out of it” she murmured. “Yes. I expected walkers, lots of them, but we would have been ok with walkers. I wasn't expecting a gang of armed men. You cannot blame me for them!” The sky rumbled with thunder and the heavens opened. She didn't acknowledge it and neither did he. “I did what I had to do to keep us alive” lightning, blinding and close, lit the area around them. She had to shout to be heard over the rain. She didn't care she'd shout until she was hoarse to help him understand. “I saved your life!” She saw more than heard him emit a single syllable laugh.

“Got yourself a piece of the action too. How many men have you twisted around your finger using sex as a weapon?” He dropped his crossbow to his side. She was infuriated, completely dumb struck by his accusation. She glared at him through the rain and he glared right back. 

“How dare you” she replied eventually, as thunder cracked around them again. “How fucking dare you!” 

“How dare I?” He stepped forward “I've known girls like you before, don't normally come back after the first time, don't normally hang around much at all after the initial screw is outta the way. I guess it’s slim pickins now though, what with humanity goin down the slope” Alex also stepped forward until they were almost head to head. She would not back down from this, no way. “I actually thought you were different” he said quietly “I actually thought this beautiful woman might be the one to change my mind” he shook his head and looked at her. “But no. You're just another whore bitch” Alex stepped even closer, their foreheads actually touching. Lightning lit his face, glared off the rain droplets there, she stared into his eyes, the rain hiding the tears on her own face. 

“I did that for you” she whispered, she waited a moment, watching his face, then turned to walk away. 

“I thought you were dead” he said ”I was convinced he'd shot you and that was it. I gave up.” She turned back to him, her face questioning. Another change of pace, he was hard to keep up with. “I saw him, touching you... You went with him in the van and I didn't know what he was doin’.” He stopped. Trying not to think what he thought at the time “and I thought you was dead. It killed me that you might be dead.” Alex stepped towards him slowly. He was looking at the floor. “That's when... I... Alex I...” he looked up at her as she approached. She put a finger to his lips and hushed him “don't say it” she whispered before taking either side of his face gently in her palms and kissing him deeply and passionately as the rain crashed around them, and thunder and lightning fought for attention. He dropped his crossbow on to the floor and put his arm around her, he motioned to lift her and she threw her legs around his waist. Still lip locked he backed her against a tree. He kissed her fervently and she matched his pace and eagerness. Eventually they came up for air and she tilted her head at him.

“You implied some very mean things about me, Daryl” she said, breathless. He nodded

“I was angry at myself.” He swallowed “furious that we got into that situation, into this situation” she looked at him 

“Being at loggerheads with you is fun, but I’d rather kiss you in the rain” he blushed and she laughed. “We should head back.” He agreed, letting her move from the tree. They left the logs and headed back. Half way there Alex grabbed his hand. The memory of Beth flashed in his mind again, but this was different. It felt strange, holding her hand, but good. So good. He squeezed it and she returned the action. Maybe everything would be ok. Maybe they could move forward, leave their pasts where they belonged, behind them.

Before they got to the barn she turned to him. She was soaked through, and Daryl had never seen her look so beautiful. 

'Just don't ever say it” she said, and he nodded, once, his face calm and smooth

“K” he replied, “but, you told me to feel what I had to feel”

“I know. Me too, but we don't have to talk about it” she dropped his hand and turned away “knowing is enough” and they went into the barn where Maggie was keeping watch on the mezzanine and everyone else slept.

 

“We're still four hours away,” Rick had gathered everyone together in the morning. “But we need a real plan before we head in” 

“After dark they are their most vulnerable.” Alex added “we can sneak in unnoticed” she pointed at the plans between them “the walls are high, but I know the weak points are here at the end of “the village” which is unfortunately the furthest area away from the armoury. “  

Maggie sat back and shook her head

“Is this the only way? Do we have to pull them apart like this? Surely they're not dangerous, surely we can move in and make them understand” Rick was unsure

“Terminus” was all he said, and Maggie didn't respond. 

“They were cannibals” Glenn added. “These people aren't cannibals, are they?”

“They suck you in” Alex said suddenly “you forget so quickly. In that sense they are extremely dangerous.” There was quiet amongst them. Thoughtful silence that span out as everyone pondered the options. Move in and take them down from inside, show them that life is not what it was, or just take them out overnight and take control by force. 

Rick looked at Daryl, who gave a single nod, and they got up together, leaving the rest of the group sitting on the barn floor. Maggie was shaking her head

“I don't like this... I don't. This is what happened at the prison. We're not like that. It's not us to be like that.” Carol touched her arm and gave a small smile.

“He and Daryl will work this out. Daryl will know what to say to get Rick to make the best decision.” Alex was quiet. She had only known the group a few weeks. She knew Alexandria and its residents already. To move in would be a hell she wasn't sure she could cope with again. Would it be better with Daryl, with her new friends? She didn't know, but she knew already she would do whatever Rick decided. She knew already that blood or no blood, this was her family now. 

Daryl and Rick came back and Alex could tell in an instant that the decision had been made. She could see that they would be moving shortly onward, that they would be moving in to Alexandria.

She was more scared of that than she had been of the thought of storming in. 

Rick explained their plan. Alex listened, but couldn't look at them. She stared at the floor and concentrated on the words, hoping not to let her fear show through. 

This is what they had to do. This could mean they were safe as they could be. 

It could.

It might.

 

And so they got into the cars and made their way forward. The mood generally a happy one, though Alex remained quiet, leading the way with Daryl navigating the way to Alexandria as best he could, diverting them from blocked roads and danger.  Every now and then he rested a hand on Alex's knee, but she pulled her leg away, not wanting to be comforted, just wanting to revel in her feeling of nervousness. She needed to be on edge. She needed to be hyper aware. 

 

As they closed in she pulled up, and Rick again nosed in beside her

“We need to approach on foot. There is a place we can stow the cars. They'll be fairly safe” she took a deep breath “I think I'm going to stay outside the walls” Daryl turned to her, eyes narrow

“Why” Rick asked “what did you do there?” Alex shook her head

“I can't forget who I am again. If you need any information, if you need anything at all I'll be just outside. I can't go back there. I'm sorry” she looked at Daryl, he was hurt. 

“Runnin' away?” He asked. She touched his face

“No. No I'll be there, I just won't be inside. You come and find me whenever you want to” she looked across him to Rick “I support you and I will be there for you if you need me. I just can't. This is something I just cannot put myself through again” Rick nodded

“Ok.”

“With any luck you'll meet Aaron or Eric on the way in, then your arrival won’t be suspicious. Though they are not suspicious people. Come on, let's get to the woods and I'll show you where to stow the cars” 

They drove on a short while before Alex pulled in by an abandoned house. Outside was full of junk. She pulled the car over and Rick parked haphazardly behind her.

“We can disable the cars. It's not far to Alexandria from here. Just follow the sun.” She got out of the Toyota and rested her elbows on its roof. They stood a moment, all looking at each other.

“Do we just leave you here?” Carl asked eventually. “It’s got to be safer inside, you’re strong, you don’t have to be like them” Alex shook her head

“Carl, I can’t. Sorry. I’ll be ok. I’ll be here or very close to here, ok? You’ll see. I’ll be fine” Rick patted his son’s shoulder and looked around

“So this is goodbye then?” Alex smiled at him

“Oh no, not at all”

“You come this far to find me, then just leave when we need you the most?”

“You are going to go in, take them down, and come and find me” She pushed off from the car. Everyone was readying to leave, saying their goodbyes. Rick hugged Alex close, which surprised her. He registered her surprise, and whispered

“We are all we have. Promise me you’ll be ok” She tightened her arms around him and whispered

“I can only promise I Will try.” They pulled away, and Rick nodded at her “Thank you” she said then “For accepting me.” Rick walked away then, and Daryl called to the others

“I’ll catch you up” and moved closer to Alex. “If I come lookin, and you’re not here…”

“I’ll be here. Every day, around noon. I’ll make sure” Daryl looked at her closely. He didn’t seem satisfied.

“Is this the end?” she smiled and touched his face.

“No. Never. I just can’t go back to that” Daryl nodded once and pulled her into a bear hug, burying his face in her hair “Do you trust me Daryl?” she asked quietly, HE nodded against her neck

“Against my better judgement”

“Good” she pulled away from him and held his shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes £Find Aaron, and stay with him. He’s been out here. He knows what it’s like” She pulled him into a hug again “And don’t you change Daryl Dixon. Don’t you dare change” he squeezed her tight and breathed in the scent of her hair. She sighed against his neck and felt him stiffen against her leg.

“You best go” she said, pulling away. No time for funny business. They had to get in, get settled. The sooner the better. He looked at her again, still not happy, but not knowing how to get her to stop being daft and just go with him. He put a hand in her hair and pulled her forward, kissing her deeply.

Then he pulled away, and left without another word.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of the last few weeks finally catch up to Alex, and sh'es poorly  
> Or is she?

Daryl ended the kiss as abruptly as he had started it, and turned nd walked away before his mouth betrayed him and spurted something stupid. He worried that Alex would disappear into the woodsand he'd never see her again. He worried that she had planned the whole thing. Didn't she say men fell for her, and she had to leave?

She didn't even ask me to stay. I couldn't stay, but she didn't even ask

Daryl expected the votces in his head to reply, but he hadn't heard them in a while. It semed with Alex, and the feelings he had admitted to, had quieted them.

Of course, Alex knew I couldn't stay.

 

They walked following the sun as Alex had suggested, and soon tall, rusted gates were before them. It was hard not to get too excited about the safety they promised. Alex wasn't here for a reason, she'd made that very clear. Rick told them to move off the road and in to the trees, He had left some guns with Alex, they carried only a few. As Alex had suggested they get found, rather than barging in uninvited, they decided to camp for the night.

 

 

Though four hours of roads lay between last night and this morning, the ground in Virginia was damp and soft. It must have been a fast moving storm, blowing southwest. Alex stood on a tree branch and watched the group as far as she could. Now they were out of sight. Good. They'd gone on. Hopefully Aaron would find them and it would only be a matter of time.

Her stomach grumbled and she shhh'd at it. She looked down at the cars. They needed disabling so no one would stumble upon them and steal them away. Just in case, but they'd still be hot under the bonnet.

She knew she shouldn't sleep here tonight. It was too dangerous. She should have told the others, but time span away from them over the last week or so, and damned Daryl had got in her head, too. She sighed. Daryl. A smile touched the corners of her mouth. 

Stop it! You need to find somewhere to sleep.

 

 

The group made a small camp not too far to the west of Alexandria Safe Zone. They had decided to circle it in the hopes of being seen. 

They had strung up empty cans ands bits of metal they'd picked up on their travels, between trees. Carol had started a fire. Daryl say away from the rest, skinning their main meal as Water boiled over the flames. Carol approached him and sat beside him. 

"Missing your girlfriend?" She teased, knocking his shoulder with her own. Daryl didn't answer, just continued his work. "You know," she continued "we can always take your mind offa her." She laughed as he looked at her, waggled her eyebrows. A smirk changed Daryl's face and he knocked her shoulder back

"You're not funny" he said, still with that crooked smile. she rolled her eyes.

"Come on, lighten up. You'll see Alex again soon" Daryl snorted at that

"You don't know" He said, finally stopping his skinning. "She... Said some stuff when we were at the cabin, the first house. I don't know if I'll see her again." Carol leant into him, again knocking his shoulder

"You will. You can see it in her face. She's not going anywhere" Daryl hmmphd and started skinning again. Carol left him to it. She knew when to leave him to himself. They'd been close a long time. She looked back at him with a smile. There was a time she thought she'd be in Alex's position. Be the one Daryl fought himself about. But they were good friends. Siblings almost, and she was happy with that.

 

Alex came face to face with another walker. The third one this evening.  She was hunting for a place to camp, but it was wet, cold. She chopped this ones head in two with her machete and studied it. Another W. Things just kept getting worse. At least she could hear these ones coming. She sighed to herself. The sun had only just gone down and she was shattered. Her growling stomach reminded her she was also still hungry. She thought about the house they'd left the cars by. She did tell the others she would be there. Maybe that house was safe enough. She headed back, sure there was some food in her pack still. She realised her back was hurting too. Probably too much throwing herself around. She was 33, no matter how fit, she was getting older.

Something made her stop in her tracks. Some niggling something in her mind. 

It was gone as quick as it came. She frowned at herself and pushed forward, looking forward to a can of cold veg and a bed for the night. 

 

Daryl sat bolt upright very suddenly as the sun rose and lit the land around them. His heart was beating very hard. Something had woken him. He listened, footsteps, human footsteps. He grabbed his crossbow and stood up with it at his shoulder. 

"Please" he heard a voice in the bushes "don't shoot" a young man stepped forward, arms in the air, he looked ridiculously clean and well groomed. Daryl assumed this was Aaron. This was who Alex wanted him to spend time with. "My name is Aaron, may I speak with your group leader? Rick, I believe?" Keeping his crossbow up and pointed in Aaron's direction he edged over to Rick and knocked him with his shoe

"Rick" he hissed

"I can come back, I guess it is quite early"

"No. You stay" Daryl kicked Rick a little harder. Other people were waking up and Rick finally looked up at Daryl

"What?" He asked, sleep making his voice croak. Daryl gestured toward Aaron with his head, and Rick turned. Instinct kicked in when he saw the stranger, he jumped up, gun in his hand. Aaron's arms were still up. He chuckled

"I promise you, I come in peace. We have a safe place to stay"

Aaron showed them pictures, just like the ones Alex had mentioned. He told them about the people, the houses the jobs to be done. Rick played up to the brow beaten traveller Aaron assumed him to be. They mustn't have any instinct of a preconceived plan. 

Daryl thought he was taking it too far, but he wasn't one to argue too much with rick. He understood the motivation, but tying Aaron up? Berating him for finding them and wanting to give them shelter?

He supposed even with or without Alex's pre warning, Aaron could be anyone.  

"It's not far. We can walk from here" Aaron was saying, still bright and cheerful despite Rick's near torture of him. They agreed to go, eventually. 

It was all rather dramatic, but they didn't argue with Rick anymore. He was more than often right, anyway, and they had inside information about this place.

"We take our own route" Rick said harshly.

"It's close by, just to the east of here" Aaron argued, but Rick shook his head

"I have my people, my family, to think about. We go the way I say, or we don't go" Aaron nodded then

"Ok, Ok. Let's go"

Alex woke up dizzy and nauseous. She held her head in her palms waiting for a wave of vertigo to pass. What on earth was that, she thought, getting up. 

The house they'd parked by was not as safe as she'd hoped. The door hung on its hinges and she had to string up empty cans and junk that she'd found outside just to feel safe enough to sleep a little. She wasn't used to being alone anymore and sleep was long coming, no matter how exhausted she felt she just couldn't relax. 

She was paying for it this morning. She felt hung over. She stretched, wondering if the group had got to Alexandria Safe Zone ok, if they had waited to Be discovered or if they had barged in after all. The only way to know now would be to follow them. She sighed. She shouldn't. She should get some breakfast. Her stomach growled and she rubbed it, she was hungrier recently. Pushing her old bones too hard. She laughed to herself. She'd hung a rabbit the night before but the thought of rabbit for breakfast made her ill. She opened her pack and looked at the meagre selection of cans she had left. Maybe she's skip breakfast. She hoped it wouldn't be long before Alexandria fell. She didn't have much left. 

 

Daryl was instantly uncomfortable within the walls of Alexandria. Aaron pointed out two houses to the group saying they were theirs

"If you pass your audition'"he added. Daryl had snorted at that. A damn audition to decide if they lived or died. Nice.The first stop was the armoury, and everyone was disarmed. Carol playing some sort of game, pretending to fear the gun she was holding, and seeming glad to be rid of it. They were assured that if they left the walls, they could take their arms again. They'd have to be signed out, but they could have them almost without question.

"Now. We want you to get in and get settled, but tomorrow we have our interviews." Deanna explained "go, get rested up and someone will call for you in the morning" and so they walked to the two houses offered up to them. Rick looked around him at his family. 

"We stick together" he said, and moved forward into one of the houses. Everyone followed, and they prepared to get comfortable on the floors and couches. They stuck together, they would not separate anymore. Daryl stood on the porch, smoking. He watched as people walked by. There were whispers, looks. He felt incredibly uncomfortable already. He did not belong in a place like this with pastel painted houses and white picket fences.

He belonged beyond the walls. He belonged with Alex. He looked out at the town, at the shadows cast by the houses and bushes. Not midday yet. Not midday for a while. He stabbed the cigarette out on the wall of the house and lay on the porch, his hands laced behind his head. 

 

Alex sat on a branch, swinging her legs, not enjoying her squirrel at all but eating because she was hungry. She kept her eyes down on the ground as a fourth walker stumbled and bumbled along below her. One had looked up, she guessed at the smell of the squirrels blood, and had reached for her feet. She was too high, of course, and she threw a stone behind herself to grab it's attention away. It worked, and it limped off. But four walkers in 20 minutes was quite a lot, and she'd started to get a bit worried. They were heading away from Alexandria, which made her feel a little better. 

She didn't have to worry about Daryl, he could look after himself, but she did. It felt good to have someone else to think about, other people to fight for. Anything to fight for. Even outside the walls and split from her group she felt safer in the knowledge that there was once again a group. The previous groups rape and pillage notwithstanding, it was still nice to have people around, looking out for each other. 

She smiled to herself, and scoffed the last of her squirrel's intestines. It was just after midday, and she wondered if Daryl would come to her today or wait until tomorrow. She didn't mind if he left her today, he had to try and fit in, try and look like he wanted to be there. She sucked on her fingers, swinging her legs still, when she heard the crunching, heavy footfalls of a human. Not Daryl, his step was lighter, and he was, mostly, more careful than this stamper. She pulled her legs up slowly and made her breathing longer, slower, she watched below. The heavy steps got louder and she heard murmurs of conversation. More than one. And both too stupid to watch their feet as well as their voices out here.  It was two men. She recognised them almost instantly. One blond, one dark. Both with W stencilled on their foreheads, though she couldn't see from this angle, she knew it was there. These men who caught and trapped walkers, carved w on their victims heads. These men, who could barely be called men, who caught and trapped live people, branded them, and hunted them. These men, these swine more like. 

Disgust rose in her but she swallowed it down. They had passed under the tree, they were heading south east. She'd seen them before, in a similar situation. She followed them when she was still living in Alexandria. She'd seen what they could, and would, do. Again, it was people to be feared, here the proof walked away from her. 

She hoped Daryl would take a direct route if he was on his way, and not divert off the beaten track too much.

 

Daryl looked at the woman from the armoury. She wasn't giving him dirty looks or sideways glances. She wasn't rude or offhand with him. She was polite, courteous, too much. 

She wore pantyhose and a respectable calf length skirt. Her blouse was pressed, clean. Daryl felt bile rise in his throat but pushed it back. He took his crossbow and left without a thank you. These people were driving him nuts. He'd only been here a few hours. 

Pantyhose, for fuck's sake.

He left the compound without a fuss being made or questions being asked. It was too easy to get in and out. 

He made his way back to the house where they left Alex. He needed to see her, he needed some proper conversation, with someone who'd been out in the real world like he had. 

The group were resting, they needed it, he was tired but uncomfortable in such a place as Alexandria. He'd rather sleep in the woods, curled up with Alex. 

He shrugged his crossbow to a more comfortable position on his shoulder, now maybe half hour into his journey back to her, a slightly less direct route for fear of being followed, keeping an eye on the surroundings, the trees, the ground. There were a few walker tracks, nothing to worry about.

It was when he saw a walker armless, legless, barely a torso and a head, that he panicked a bit. The head and body was 'reanimated' but could cause him no harm. He walked close by and noticed the w carved on the forehead. W. Weird. The people who did this might be close. The people who did this were certainly sick and twisted. And they were out here with Alex close by. He pushed forward, being more careful, eyes everywhere at once, staying in the shadows. 

 

He didn't see the two men pass by, but he heard them. Hushed voices but clumsy feet. He stayed back out of the way, and tried to hear what they were saying, but he heard only murmurs. If they were always so clumsy he'd see them again, no doubt. 

 

When he approached the wreck Alex was apparently calling home she was outside, bent double, one hand on her thigh the other on her stomach. She was spitting strings of froth. She looked up as he neared and he noticed the puddle of vomit between her feet. He rushed forward but she held out the hand from her stomach

"No, stay away" she spat again Daryl edged forward, then back again as another heave rocked Alex's body "I've felt off all day" she stood up straight and looked at him. 'Sorry' she smiled at him "I don't want you to see me right now'"she wiped her mouth.

"Are you ok?" She shrugged 

"Feel a bit better now"

"Think it was the rain?" She shrugged again

"I need to sit, do you have water?" He sat with her on a fallen log and pulled water out of his bag. He laid his crossbow on the floor and looked at her as she poured water in her mouth from a height.

"Don't be stupid" he took the bottle off her. "Once ya showin' signs you generally ain't contagious no more" he reached for her, she flinched away and he stroked her forehead "don't feel hot or nothin'' he said softly. "We got pills, you should take somethin' if ya sick" Alex shook her head. She burped quietly

"Sorry" he laughed 

"S'ok. How ya doin'?" She shook her head, but didn't reply. She looked pale. 

 

  
_'Can't you see whass goin' on, l'il brotha'_ Merle. For the first time in a while. Daryl tried to shake him away, but Merle persisted _'l'il lady got herself in trouble boy'_  


 

"Are you alright?" Alex asked, from far away. He didn't reply, Merle was apparently on a roll

 

  
_'Or you got herself in trouble. Ain't been usin' protection, ave ya?'_ Merle chuckled _'hoo wee brotha!'_ Daryl turned to Alex and offered again the pills they hoarded from the pharmacy.

"No, I don't know what I'm sick with, could make me worse if I take the wrong thing" Daryl nodded. It made sense enough. But Merle had planted a huge seed of doubt. "How are you liking Alexandria?" She asked, changing the subject. Daryl shrugged 

"I don't" he stood up, as much to be away from her as to feel his own legs again. Merles idea had left him feeling very numb "it's too... They're polite and nice and everything's nice... I don't fit. The whole damn safe zone don't fit" he rubbed his mouth, chewed his thumb.  "I shoulda stayed here. And now ya sick I can't go back"

"I'm alright"

"There's freaks out here. Real crazies" he looked at her "are you pregnant?" Alex was thrown off course. She stared at Daryl like she'd never seen him before. 

"What?!" She managed, "what!? Where did that come from?!?" Daryl shrugged and looked at her from behind his fringe

"Are you?" His tone accusatory. Alex could barely speak.

"And if I am?" She asked, her tone as challenging as his "how dare you assume, how dare you be so blatantly angry? If I am, then you would be part of it too" she crossed her arms and legs in one movement and glared at him. The bastard. 

"Are ya or aintcha?" She made her face soft, her voice softer

"Just go" she got up and walked past him "go back to Alexandria and come back when you realise what you're asking, how you're asking it, and just how stupid you think I am" 

"I don't think ya stupid" he started, reaching towards her

"Just go" she repeated "please. I'm very angry and I can't have a conversation if I'm angry" she grabbed her pack, her stick, and started walking away. He followed. 

"Alex" she continued walking. "Alex!"

"Shhh" she turned to him "leave me alone. Just, just go away" she walked in and he just watched her go. He was no good at having a girl, clearly he didn't know how to talk to her. He couldn't understand why she was angry, but she'd had mood swings all the while he'd known her. 

Carol and Rick we're going to meet him out here soon. In the interest of staying hidden, he began to bury her puke. 

 

Alex just walked, no direction or idea of where she was headed.

What an arse! So what if she was pregnant,

He had no right to speak to her like shit, it'd be 50% his fault anyway. Bloody idiot. 

Pregnant

Frankly the thought had crossed her mind, but the dates were off, she was pretty sure she couldn't be. It was then she realised she needed to know for sure. Have proof. She needed a pharmacy, a pregnancy test. And maybe a few packs of condoms for future fornicating. No more risks. She snorted. She wasn't planning on sleeping with Daryl anytime soon. 

She stopped and turned on the spot, heading back they way she came. He could get her a pregnancy test from

Alexandria. This, not that it was anything but childish angry assumption, was his problem too.

 

Rick and Carol turned up together as Daryl finished piling soil over Alex's mishap. 

"She here?" Rick asked. Daryl shook his head

"We had a fallin' out. Think she's sick" he pointed at the freshly turned earth "vomited." Carol pulled a face

"Where'd she go?" But Daryl shrugged. 

"We need her here, we need her knowledge of that... That place" Rick spat the last two words. He too was uncomfortable. Daryl looked at Carol and she shrugged. He wanted to ask her advice, but out of earshot of Rick. 

 

When Alex came stumbling through the trees the trio instantly raised their weapons. She raised her hands at them and vomited violently between her feet again. She looked up, white as a ghost and eyes glazed. Carol ran to her to help her back to the run down shack she was calling home, staring daggers at Rick and Daryl who hadn't moved. Daryl, still angry, and Rick just uninvolved. She sat Alex down and whispered with her a moment before they heard

"No" from Alex "I can't do that I won't do it" she stood up and hobbled away from Carol towards the house, ducked under her string of cans and junk, and disappeared into the shadows. 

"I told her there is a doctor in Alexandria, she's not interested." Carol said, approaching the others.  "Now, that armoury... It's unmanned half the day. There's a window..."

 


	12. Alexandria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has to go to Alexandria, despite her own reservations. What will the town make of her being back? How will living in a suburb change things within the group?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has been so long! Please forgive me.  
> I have started to pick up a canon with the back 8 of season five, but obviously with Alex in tow it pans out differently. Add that to the fact that Eugene, Tara, Rosita, Noah, Gabriel and Abraham are missing from my fic, and it is really a lot different. 
> 
> I have a lot of chapters to share now
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter, I've worked on it a lot.

Before they left Daryl called for Alex. She stepped to the door and looked at him straight faced

“We're heading back. We'd really like you to come with us, you're sick. No matter the reason, you need a doctor and there is one available at Alexandria” Alex was shaking her head before he finished 

“No” but he persisted. 

“You come willingly or I drag you there” Alex tilted her head at him 

“Really?” He nodded

“Yeah” he shrugged “you need medical attention” Alex chewed her lip

“We don't belong there Daryl” Daryl just looked at her. She chewed her lip some more.  ”Ok. Ok. I'll come. But I'm not making nice. The people are foolish” Daryl collected her things and threw an arm around her waist. She looked at him sideways and smiled 

“I don't have a bad leg, Daryl. I'm just a bit woozy” He didn't answer, but his crooked smile told her everything she needed to hear.

 

Alexandria was busy as she remembered. Kids playing, dogs barking. She couldn't see Deanna, Pete. Aaron had opened the gate for them, on a break from scouting for survivors after his huge haul the day before

“Alexis?” He asked, concerned “where have you been, what happened?” She didn't reply, but Daryl grunted, which was enough to get Aaron to back off for now. 

“We need a doctor, she's not well” Carol said. “I believe it's Pete?” Aaron nodded and hurried away. Rick patted Daryl's arm 

“Ok?” Daryl nodded. He could cope with this. Rick strode off towards their house. 

“Alex?” Deanna, all she needed. Queen flipping oblivious. “Dear Alex where have you been? I see you've met our newest residents” Alex smiled

“Yeah. They found me some time ago, I split off for a bit, you know. Where's Pete?  I'm sick” Deanna looked at Daryl's arm around Alex and smiled. “Of course, he's in the infirmary, come” and so they followed and Alex felt sicker by the step. She walked past pruned and perfect trees and lawns, beautifully painted houses and picket fences that weren't peeling. The streets were free of clutter, cars, and walkers. It smelt... Well, it didn't smell.

This didn't feel real anymore. 

Pete welcomed them and to Alex's surprise he was sober.  She sat in a chair while he shone light in her eyes and asked her questions. Daryl had to answer some as she didn't remember the details.

“You fall ten feet and lose consciousness for several hours, then have a car crash along with a traumatic experience. I'm not surprised you've been vomiting.” Pete sat back in his chair “you need rest, fluids,” he spread his hands before him “what did you think was going to happen out there, princess?” Daryl didn't like his tone, too familiar, and slightly threatening. Pete looked between them and straightened, seeing something he didn't like on Daryl's face. 

“So. Water, bed, painkillers” he stood, Daryl stood. Alex stood between them, not enjoying the stares they shared. 

“Daryl? Can you bring me back?” She asked in the heavy silence. He turned from Pete, eventually, and put his hand on the small of her back, leading her out of the building.

“I don't like him” he said as they reached the porch “I don't like how he looks at you” Alex shook her head 

“He's just Pete, he looks at all women like that. If you open your eyes you will notice how the females avoid him.” She opened the door “it's amazing what you see if you take the time to look” and walked into the house. 

The “interviews” were to be held the following day, she was informed, and apparently Deanna had asked to see her, too. She told Rick Deanna may have to come to her,

“Doctors orders” she said petulantly. Daryl stood by the bed looking uncomfortable. Alex rolled her eyes at him “will you leave? I'm still upset with you” he looked at her a moment, narrowed eyes and chewing the inside of his lips.

“It was a reasonable question” he said, turning to leave. Alex huffed and called to him 

“It wasn't asked in the most reasonable way” the door slammed behind him and Alex threw herself back on the pillows. 

She still hadn't actually answered him, and he wondered if she even knew, if it had crossed her mind. He looked at Carl and Judith, playing together on the floor, and pondered fatherhood for the first time in his life. 

He'd be better than his dad. He knew that much. He shook the thought away as Carol approached him.

“Are you alright Daryl?” He looked at her but didn't reply “you're not yourself. I heard the door slam upstairs” Daryl blew out a frustrated puff of air.

“Alex, she's off. Upset about being brought here I think” he shrugged “I dunno, I can't seem to talk to her right.” Carol smiled at him

“You'll work it out.” She gently touched his shoulder “I have some investigating to do. I'll see you later” 

She winked at him, and she scuttled off, mousey, scurrying almost, like the woman she used to be when Ed was alive. 

 

Deanna came to see Alex first in the morning. She sat on a chair she'd pulled up to the side of the bed. Folded her hands on her lap and just looked at Alex. It made her extremely nervous.

“Alex” Deanna said at last. “Oh Alex. What happened to you?” Alex didn't answer at first, not entirely sure what Deanna was asking. Why did she leave or what happened after she had left?

“We missed you” she said then. “The Children asked after you.” Alex smiled 

“I missed the children” she said, somewhat pointedly. She did. Their innocence was completely founded in the pure sense of their youngness. Their naivety attached to the simple fact that they were children. Not that they were weak and stupid, like the adults. “And the dogs” she laughed. She loved dogs. Deanna smiled 

“Why did you go?” 

“I just needed to be out there again” Alex sat up a little straighter “I needed to remind myself it's not all... Roses and picket fences” Deanna nodded, as if she understood. As if she knew what it meant to be outside the walls. 

“You found Rick” She smiled that motherly smile Alex hated so much “does he know?” Alex had told them, all of them with their questions about her accent and why she wasn't at home in Britain, about her initial quest to find her long lost brother, the piece of her that had been missing all of her life. 

“Yes. He knows” 

“And you brought him back here. Now there's serendipity for you” Alex snorted, louder than she meant to.

“Serendipity is a fortunate happening, a surprise occurrence with a happy ending. This is not serendipity” she looked away from Deanna and murmured quietly.

“I need my rest” and Deanna stood

“Of course. Welcome back Alex” she left the room, pulling the door to. 

 

The interviews took place over the course of the day. Each of the group taken one by one in front of Deanna's camera. She handed out jobs to all except Daryl and Alex. Though Alex was poorly, she couldn't place Daryl. Deanna invited them all to a party in their honour. Even Alex, who Pete could give anti-sickness drugs to, especially for the occasion. She declined, politely. Claiming she didn't feel up to it. 

Which wasn't exactly a lie. 

“I can't be in a room with those people” she told Carol later, who confessed she would be going, along with Rick and Maggie. Glenn had been cornered by Aiden, and asked to go on a run with him. Alex was out of bed when she heard. She grabbed Glenn by his jumper and made him promise to be careful

“Please, Glenn. Aiden and his friends are stupid. They play games with walkers, dangerous idiotic games” Glenn was stunned to be practically shaken by someone supposedly sick, but he nodded 

“Alex, I'll be ok” Alex shook her head 

“You go out there off guard and you'll likely not come back” she spat.  “Ok? Just please be careful” she dropped her hands from his top and crossed her arms “I'm sorry, but you have to understand” she shrugged “I wish I was well enough to go with you. I know how they work” 

“I'm touched, really,” Glenn said “but you and I know I'll be ok, don't we?” Alex nodded, placated for the moment. But she had a very bad feeling, and in this lifetime instincts were rarely wrong. 

She sat on the couch with a thump and Michonne and Carol were instantly on either side of her she looked at them both. 

“I'm ok” she smiled “feeling a lot better. I'll probably be out of here again in a few days” Carol and Michonne shared a look over her head, and Rick crouched in front of her

“You're going nowhere. You stay with us now. We're all in this together, we need you, you need us.” He tilted his head. “We're all going to get cleaned up, we're going to fit in as best we can.” He stood “and so, I'm off for a shower” Alex stood also, and headed for the door. Carol and Michonne were on the verge of trying to stop her, but she turned “I just need some air. I'll stay in the walls” and she left. 

She walked around aimlessly for a while, just walked, in her holey shoes, torn jeans, her vest top cut in to several ragged ribbons, splattered with blood and dirt. 

She found herself on a bench, by the pond. She watched the water a while, lost in her own mind, her recent memories. Meeting Daryl and the group. Finding her brother even after everything. Maybe it was serendipity. Maybe it was fate. She didn't believe in fate, not really. Everything happened because it happened, because there were events that lead to it, not because a specific outcome was expected. She didn't meet Daryl because of planet alignment, she just met him because she followed the group and got clumsy.

She found Rick because she had been looking, not because it was written in some invisible path. 

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, enjoying the sun on her face again. She felt someone sit with her. She looked. Pete. He stank of beer, like it was seeping from his pores. He grinned at her and she tried to stand. But his arm was on hers before she could, holding her down.

“Where you running to, princess?” He asked, sneering “I knew you'd come back. I knew you couldn't stay away from me, no matter what you say” he leered at her, his eyes everywhere except her face and her skin crawled. She was suddenly very aware of her exposed midriff, the less than conservative cut of her top, her skin tight jeans. She longed for someone to walk by, cause him to move away from her so she could leave. Then she saw Jessie.

Pete's wife, a lovely woman who Alex was sure Pete was beating, was walking from her house to theirs, a basket in her hands. Pete also saw,

He watched as Rick answered the door, and as Jessie eventually ventured inside. Alex saw her chance and left him on the bench gaping at the scene before him. Daryl caught up to her as she crossed the street.

“Ok?” She looked at him and stopped walking 

“Yes. I am now. Nice bit of fresh air, makes all the difference” he shook his head

“Not what I meant” Alex nodded 

“I know.” She looked behind her to the bench where Pete had interrupted her thoughts. He was gone “I'm ok.” Daryl leaned in close to her ear

“If he gives you any more trouble...” Alex smiled at him

“I'm not pregnant” she turned and faced him “how does that make you feel?” Daryl looked at the floor. He didn't answer and Alex turned away again. “I see” 

“It's ok.” He said, now facing her profile “either way.” Alex looked at him sideways

“I don't think I understand” she said cautiously. What does either way mean? 

“If ya pregnant, if ya not. Don't change nothin ’“Alex turned to him again

“It changes everything” she bent her knees to see his eyes “everything” he looked up and she shrugged “we can't bring a baby in to this and expect it to be the same” she knocked his shoulder with her own and winked “I have something to celebrate with. How about, instead of this stupid welcome party, we celebrate at home” he narrowed his eyes

“Celebrate?” She nodded

“Yeah. Come find me when everyone's gone” she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Call it our first date” she winked at him again and dropped his hand, heading back to the house with as much a spring in her step as she could muster.

Jessie was cutting Rick's hair when she entered. It looked like an incredibly intimate thing, Rick looked very handsome without his beard and clean for the first time since she'd been with them. She smiled and said hello, moving on as quick as she could. Wondering what Pete would make of his wife getting up close and personal with her brother. 

She'd not thought of him quite that way before. Her brother. 

 

She hopped in the shower, hot water poured on her body for the first time in a year and a half. She revelled in the feeling, danced in the steam, and even sang as she washed her hair. 

When showered she checked through the dresser drawers and found clean clothes. Just like she had last time. 

She dressed, and looked at herself in the vanity mirror. 

Bruises, fading but still evident, on her head and jawline. She sat back from her examination and noticed the makeup on the dressing table. She curled her lip in disgust before knocking it all off. 

Makeup? Who set these houses up for people? Walkers didn't care what you looked like, you were dinner and they weren't picky. She opened a wardrobe and was completely

Unsurprised to find twinsets. All they needed was some pearl earrings.

Good grief what did they think was happening? Who were these idiots trying to impress? She was getting incredibly angry, but she refused to get drawn in by it all this time. She could see now how they did it. How they dragged you down to their thinking. With the safety of the walls, the hints at the old world all around, the ease of getting food and water, hot showers, electricity.

None of it would last forever, and then what? They'd all die distressing and painful deaths at either the hands of man or beast. She got up, and left the room, having had quite enough of the fake cheerfulness of it all. 

 

Maggie, Rick, Michonne, and Carol all went to the party at around 7, Glenn went on a run with Aiden and that idiot Nicholas. Alex had the house to herself. Sort of. Judith was asleep in a crib in Rick's room. 

Anticipating Daryl's arrival she found and lit candles, and dug deep in her pack for the whisky she'd been saving.

Originally she thought she would drink it all, pass out, and be eaten by walkers. She'd had a time when it was too much, when she wanted to be out of it all, blissfully unaware of the world and its new monsters. She was glad she had pulled herself out of that stupor. She was glad she had left this community the first time completely sober and found her new family. The bottle now was a symbol of celebration of being alive of surviving in this world, and not one of devastating loneliness.

 

When the door opened her heart did a little skip. She felt ridiculous, having a date with Daryl, a date by only her admission. 

He walked in with a single rose in his hand. It was possibly the sweetest thing she had even seen. She was sure he had stolen it from one of their new 'neighbours' but the thought was really touching. He held it out to her, not looking at her directly, blushing a little. She had no idea where to find a vase, so she filled a beaker with water and put it in there instead. 

“I've got a job” he said, no small talk. Good. She didn't want things to get weird because she had decided this was a relationship thing.

“Oh?” She asked, genuinely interested

“Yeah. Aaron” Alex grinned she really wanted Aaron and Daryl to become friends. They were almost exact opposites, but Aaron knew more than anyone here about outside. “Wants me to find people with him” Daryl sat at the kitchen table. Alex was nodding

“Good. I'm pleased. Should keep you out of trouble” she smiled at him, placed the whisky on the table and sat in front of him. He eyed the bottle, and then Alex. 

“Alcohol? You're on meds” she shrugged and reached for the bottle, but he pulled it out of arm’s length before she could grab it. She pulled her arm away and looked at him steadily. 

“This whisky has been in my pack for about a year” she gestured to it. “I was going to drink the lot, all at once.” Daryl narrowed his eyes at her. “I wanted it to be over” she said. “I wanted to get so wasted that if I passed out and got eaten I wouldn't know.” She looked squarely at Daryl “I had had enough. I wanted to just be gone. No one would know, no one would care.” She shrugged “I walked out of here and just... I wanted to die.” She tapped her fingers on the table. “I came to America in a whirl of hopes and dreams. I came here looking for a piece of my life that was missing. I destroyed lives with my selfish hunt to find myself.” Daryl put the bottle back in the centre of the table, but Alex didn't reach for it this time. “And then, the world went to hell. And I destroyed more lives simply for the selfish act of surviving. I had no one to help, no one to survive with. Shit at the time I had nothing to survive FOR, but I had to survive. You know?” Daryl nodded

“I know”

“Then, Aaron came and brought me here. For a while it was great, back to normal, until I realised this isn't normal anymore. This is fake, pretend” she shrugged. “Obviously I didn't drink it. It kind of became a symbol of my strength and my independence.” She sighed and slid her hands forward.

“I don't need to be independent anymore. I mean I do, but only to a point. I have this strong family around me, people I care about, and who I feel care about me. And I don't want to be selfish. I don't need to be selfish because we work together and we help each other.” She looked at the whisky bottle and then at Daryl “I used to hate thinking about the past. All the promise it held, what I did to people then. I thought the new world, the new me, was better somehow. The girl who slept around and didn't have a care in the world for anything has gone. I never thought I'd find Rick, I certainly never thought I'd find love” She smiled, as Daryl looked away. She reached across and took his hand “this whisky has become just a heavy extra load in my pack. It symbolises nothing anymore.” Daryl grabbed the bottle suddenly, aggressively, making Alex jump. He stood and held it out to her

“You need to pour it away” he said “just dump it down the sink” Alex stood, cautiously moved forward and took the bottle from him. He didn't seem like one for symbolism, but she was obviously wrong “just pour that selfish bitch down the drain” he said excitedly. Alex smiled and stood in front of the sink, Daryl behind her, his arms snaked around her waist. She slowly unscrewed the bottle cap and sighed. She tipped the bottle slowly and smiled. As the old whisky swirled away Daryl kissed her neck and smelt her hair. 

“Goodbye” she whispered as the last dregs disappeared. Daryl span her on the spot and kissed her deeply, softly. He lifted her and sat her on the table behind them, his mouth still on hers, his hands everywhere. It was clumsy, thoughtless, her mind a blank and his even more so. He reached under her shirt and found her braless. He squeezed her left breast, rough fingers scraping the nipple which hardened at his touch. She reached for his belt and pulled it open, used it to pull him in close. He removed his hand from her breast, and into his pocket, pulling out a condom. Alex took it from his hand, pushing down his jeans and underwear. She eyed his hard pulsating cock before rolling the protection on. He groaned, finding her mouth again. She spread her legs for him, having wiggled out of her own jeans.

Their lovemaking was fast, eager, and over as quick as it had started. Alex couldn't be happier, Daryl holding on to her tight, melting into her in his afterglow. She hugged him tight, and kissed his cheek. 

“You know, I don’t always give it all away on a first date” she giggled. 

“Only sometimes?” He asked, that made her laugh harder and he had to pull away, pull out. She felt instantly empty, cold, but he pulled her off the table, and they re-arranged themselves slightly, before dashing through the house to the bedroom designated as Alex's. 

Their second round was slower. They undressed each other, item by item. They drank in every inch of each other’s bodies, every mole, mark, and scar. The bruises, both fresh and faded. It left Alex tingling from the tips of her fingers to the ends of her toes. Breathless and exhausted and comforted in the arms of the man she loved.

They drifted in and out of sleep for an hour or so. Judith sleeping soundly in the next room. Eventually Alex decided she was hungry. Daryl confessed he had had spaghetti with Eric and Aaron. 

“They have a bike, they want me to put it back together. If I do I can have it” Alex stretched, stood, and dressed. “I want you to come” 

She pulled her top down, rearranging the hem

“What? Where?” 

“Out. On runs. With me and Aaron” Alex shook her head and sat on the bed

“No. I can't. If I leave I'm not coming back.” Daryl looked confused, but he didn't argue. “I'm sure Deanna will have me pegged for something when I'm better, anyway. I don't think she'd let me out again.” Daryl sat up 

“We're not prisoners” Alex looked at him, and he looked back

“You'll see” she said. “You wait.” Daryl sat up and eyed her suspiciously

“What?” He asked, “I'll see, what?” Alex shrugged at him, patted his knee under the cover, but his eyes were narrow, his mouth a straight line. 

“They suck you in” she answered his stare.

“Ya said that before.” He threw the cover back and swung his legs out of the bed “why you keep Talkin' in riddles? Jus tell me what ya mean, girl” Alex shrugged again

“I don't know” she stood, turned to him “they just, have a way of getting into your head” Daryl looked her square in the eye. Stood completely naked before her. 

“Ain't no one Gettin” in my head” Alex shook her head and threw his clothes at him. 

“You'd be surprised. I didn't think anyone could get into mine, but look at us now” she smiled at him, but he didn't return it, pulling on his clothes with grim necessity. Alex rolled her eyes and went to leave the room.

“I'm tell in' ya. We’ll be ok” Daryl said to her back as she reached the door handle. “We don't fall for this shit.”  She span to him, launched herself towards him 

“You just had sex in a bed with fresh crisp clean sheets, in a house with a white picket fence in suburbia. You sat in someone's kitchen and ate spaghetti under neon fucking electric lights. While I was sick in the woods you refused to take your gun from Carol.” Daryl held his hands up, as if surrendering “and now rather than argue back you're waving a white fucking flag.” She stopped, visibly deflated from her outburst. Judith let out a single cry, and Alex sighed, rubbing her head.

“I'm still the same,” Daryl said to her “I'm not keen on guns, I'm better with a bolt, I don't like laying on the floor if I don't have to and I sure as hell ain't gonna pass up dinner and a motorbike with a couple of guys just cause they happen to have electricity “he shook his head. She was the crazy one, she'd lost it, not him. Suffering from post-traumatic stress or something. Maybe her brain was damaged.

 ”Just... Be careful Daryl. Ok? Please? Keep your wits about you and your head in the game.” She headed for the door again, wanting to quiet Judith as if they were still out in the woods. “I don't want to catch you wearing slacks and cutting your hair” she added, shutting the door behind her. Daryl watched the door for a second, smirking before pulling on his boots, muttering under his breath about fuckin' slacks and stupid haircuts. 

Alex cooed at Judith and picked her up. She bobbed her and rocked her in her arms and babbled to her about nothing

“There there, baby girl. Why the tears? Shhhhhh” she felt a presence behind her but didn't turn to Daryl. Judith's cries were turning to whimpers and Alex continued to sway and move her.

“She likes to be sang to” Daryl said from the doorway. Alex looked at him and smiled

“Oh I don't know many lullabies” Daryl shrugged

“I don't think it matters what, Beth used to sing. Kept the little asskicker calm.” Alex faced Daryl now, Judith in her arms, and kissed the top of the little girl's head, breathing in the beautiful baby smell she still had despite everything she'd been through in her short life. She closed her eyes and began to hum. The only ballads she could remember were power ballads from her days with the rock group. Guns and roses popped into her head and she opened her mouth, began to sing a song called 'don't cry' which seemed to her to be fitting. She turned away from Daryl, embarrassed, but he stood in the doorway and listened. 

She wondered if this is what it would have been like if they had a child. If she was pregnant, and the picket fences were strong enough to hold them down, ground them. If the walkers stayed outside and maybe their group took over Alexandria.

If, but, maybe. 

Judith's eyes had drooped and Alex put her back in her crib. A sense of anger swept over her at her own stupid thoughts. Safe? Never. Grounded? She already was. She headed for the door and Daryl caught sight of her face. She tried to push past but he wouldn't let her. 

“What's with you?” He asked, more gruffly than he intended. Alex looked at him coldly, stern

“I'm getting caught up in it already” she said, softer than her face threatened her voice would be “lullabies and babies and safety” she shook her head “it's all too much” Daryl still didn't move from the door. He was extremely worried about Alex's state of mind. Maybe she really had rattled her brain. 

Who could help?

'I feel safer on edge” she said then, and he focussed back on her “I feel better when I'm tired and hungry and scared” she flopped into a sitting position on the floor “is there something wrong with me?” Daryl stood looking down at her, at a loss,

Not knowing how to react. No there's nothing wrong, 3 years of this it becomes your life...

He went to her, knelt before her

“Ain't nothin wrong” he said “I prefer to be out there, too. But Rick surely has a game plan and we'll be taking this shit over. But we gotta go slow. We been here no more'n a day. We gotta fit in before we can do that” Alex looked at him but didn't appear placated. He wondered if he could ever say anything right. He'd never had a girlfriend, never really had to deal with any woman. Were they always so up and down? Was Alex sick? “Three years,” he said “it's a long time to get used to something and then expect to just... Change back” Alex nodded

“Yeah” she looked away from him “this place gives me the creeps. I mean, they're having a party down the road, and I bet walkers are just traipsing up and down the lengths of the walls trying to find a way in, and they act like they're not, and Rick and Carol and Michonne are there...” Her voice trailed off as she saw something in Daryl's eye “what?” She asked cautiously, and Daryl grinned.

“I know just what you need” he said conspicuously. Alex wasn't so sure. “When the others get back we'll steal away.” Alex narrowed her eyes but Daryl continued “you want to keep grounded, we'll keep watch.” He stood up, reached a hand down for her “but we'll need to get some sleep first” 

 

 


	13. Try To Blend In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to fit in is proving difficult for everyone as emotions boil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still running in Canon to Series five for a while, but it will all change direction when I come to the end of season five, I'm not going to just stop for several months while we wait for 6 to start.

They'd not long drifted off when hammering at the door woke them up. They sat bolt upright at the frantic thumping. Judith began to cry again. 

'Go to Judith' Daryl grunted 'I'll get the door' he edged quietly to the window and looked through it to the porch, just as the person so eager to see them stepped back and looked around. Pete. Daryl grabbed his shirt and threw it over his head, jogging for the stairs.

'What?!?' He threw the door open so it banged against the wall. Pete stumbled on his feet, Daryl could smell him from several feet away. Hell he'd smell him from metres. 

Pete was taken aback. 

'Thought you were out' Daryl stared at him, disgust written all over his face

'Then why're ya knockin?'  Pete swallowed and took a wobbling step forward 

'Alex' Daryl blocked the door with his whole body and shook his head

'No. She's asleep. Doctors’ orders' Pete took another step forward and Daryl bristled. The hell was this guy on? 

'I need to see her, as her GP' he stumbled 'I’m sure you understand in the interest of confidentiality'

'No. It's ten pm. Go home' Pete raised his hand, pointed a finger at Daryl 

'Hey, If I need to see the little bitch I will' Daryl reached out and grabbed Pete’s finger and bent it back against his hand

'Don't talk about her that way. You can see her when you're sober and when I'm in the room. Hey we'll come by tomorrow morning' he pushed at Pete's finger harder and the man's knees buckled 'providing ya well enough' Pete tried to pull his hand away but Daryl held fast 'ok?' 

'Ok ok' Pete answered, pained, and Daryl let him go. Pete nursed his finger and looked up at Daryl 'you wanna watch that little skank whore' he thought about pointing again, almost did, but pulled his hand back at the last minute. Daryl just watched him, barely hiding his amusement, arms crossed, still taking up the whole door frame. 'She's dirty little bitch' Daryl tilted his head

'You need to leave' Pete obliged with a sneer, and Daryl watched him stumble across the road to his own house. He shut the door only when Pete was inside. 

He turned to the stairs and Alex was standing at the top of them. 

'Ok?' She asked. Daryl shrugged.

'Pete, wanted you' Alex nodded.

'Yeah.' She started to descend the stairs as Daryl started up. She turned and went up again. 'He... He's a bit obsessed, I don’t know. He's convinced I'm after him and every time I turn him down he gets angrier and angrier.' She thought a moment, hand on the sort knob to their room 'should I be upset that he's always pissed when he wants me?' She was smiling, but Daryl didn't like this at all. The guy was harassing her, beating his own wife, and an alcoholic as well. 

'Told him will pay him a visit tomorrow' He said, as Alex pushed the door in and headed into the room. She turned to him, laughing. 

'Stop it, I'm not going to see that freak' Daryl shrugged

'He's all we got if ya sick' Alex nodded. It was sadly true

'The pills are working' she said, unashamedly undressing. 'I feel so much better' it still stunned Daryl that she had so much confidence to just be naked around him. Scars and bruises and all. 

He climbed into bed beside her and they soon fell into a deep sleep. 

 

It was after midnight by the time everyone was home. Glenn the lay one in from his run. Alex awoke to the sound of his frustrated murmurs with Maggie in the next room. 

'She was right, they're idiots Maggie. Idiots. Children. They're going to get themselves killed.' 

'You need to let Deanna know. I know, I know but she's not what Alex makes out. She'll understand, it's her son after all' Alex closed her eyes. Deanna knew Aiden was an idiot, but he was her son... She might not listen. It was then she felt Daryl shift, ‘and she turned to him.

 

'Ya wake?' He asked, his voice gruffer than usual, a harsh, sleep addled, whisper in the dark. 

'Yeah' she whispered back, her own voice light. Daryl wondered if she'd slept at all, but didn't question her.

'C'mon' he climbed out of the bed. 'I know whata make you feel better.' Alex raised an eyebrow at him but got out of bed and dressed quietly. 

He led her out of the house, down the   Street and out of the compound. 

Next to the gate stood a watch tower and a rundown house. Alex looked at Daryl. 

'Go on' he said, and she led the way to the tower, climbing rickety old wooden stairs, to the small square space at the top. She looked out of the glassless window, resting her arm on the frame as Daryl caught up to her.

'It's quiet' she whispered, not wanting to ruin the stillness with her voice. Not wanting her words ruin the night, the dark, the complete perfectness of the woods, the stars. 

She looked at Daryl 'it's quite beautiful' she looked back out, not wanting to see him grunt, to dismiss her thoughts as she assumed he would. But no sound came from him, just an arm slung around her waist. More perfection, even in its carelessness, it was wonderful. 

She watched as a lone walker stumbled into view through the trees. An owl, startled, hooted and flew away into the night. 

'He's just a boy' she noted at the rotten animated corpse. Daryl said nothing. She wondered if the whole world was affected by this disastrous infection. If her family in the UK were surviving. If her mother had tried to call when it had started. She rubbed her face roughly. Thinking like this was no good. The night and the trees were all too romantic still. She had to get out of her head and into her wild self again. 

She shuffled her feet a little and felt something. She bent to pick it up, Daryl moving backward to give her room, still not questioning, she couldn't even hear him breathing. 

A stone, the size of her fist. She picked it up and tested the weight before launching it out of the window at the young walker. It hit him in the chest and he stumbled back a few feet, almost dazed, before listing forward again, and shuffling in the direction he had started. She sighed to herself. 

'Not enough room for a good throw.' She bent her knees again and continued to search around her feet for more missiles. 

Killing walkers wasn't necessary if you weren't in danger, but she knew she was sliding into a false sense of hope and security. That was dangerous enough to warrant a little target practice. 'It's too still, too quiet' she said, arming herself with stones and bits of rusted metal. 'I can't bear it' 

'Mmmkay' Daryl answered, finally, and took some of the junk from her arms. They watched the window together as another walker stumbled into view, and gradually moved closer, catching up with its kin. They threw rocks, stones, glass. The walkers stumbled, fell, got cut and one fell in a way that appeared to have broken its leg. It didn't get back up but continued to try. As Alex readied herself to throw another stone she heard Daryl's sharp intake of breath beside her. She turned and saw him looking at his finger. She lowered her arm and dropped the stone to the floor, taking his hand in both of hers. He'd cut himself on a bit of metal. He didn't resist as she held it closer to her face to get a better look

'It's not deep' she said quietly 'does it hurt?' She looked at his face as he shrugged. She raised his hand again and stared into his eyes, opening her mouth, she popped the finger in sideways and sucked on it. He watched her intently for a moment before exhaling softly through his nose. She smiled at him and pulled his finger from her mouth. 

'Want to go back?' She asked, blinking slowly. Daryl just shook his head. 

'What do you do when it's over?' He asked, unexpectedly. Alex looked at him and shrugged. 'I mean, one day, we're gonna win, the dead will stay down. Then what?' Alex turned to the window, to the perfect night, and sighed

'For now we haven't won. For now we have to be on guard. When it's over, how will we know? We won't know. No news reporter or newspaper is going to tell us. It's a five to one ratio, Daryl, all over the world, 5billion against one billion. 

We'll never win that battle unless we stay always alert. Always on edge' Daryl thought about her dancing through life in the forest, about her climbing trees and playing games. How was that on guard? 'You have to live, you have to stay yourself' she added as if she heard his thoughts 'but there has to be an edge. How will you survive without it?' She turned to him 'how many people, weak people who didn't have guts, do you know who are alive now?' She shrugged 'everyone I knew is dead. None of them made for this. Me, I had no idea what I was capable of until disaster struck.' Daryl was thinking of the people they'd lost. Good people. Strong people just in the wrong place at the wrong time. 'You have to be on guard everywhere, opening a door, climbing a tree, having a meal. We're forever on the run, and the guys in Alexandria don't understand. We need to make them understand!' She turned from the window, leant against the rickety old wooden frame. It creaked under her weight. 

'You gotta be on guard with me?' Daryl asked, and she shrugged. 

'Sometimes.' She stood up straight 'you... You have bursts of being your true self and bursts of being all clammed up. I'm learning. I'm starting to work out which is which.' She looked out of the window over her shoulder 'I guess I'm the same. We're learning more about ourselves the further we go through this life.' She looked at him 'I was thinking, it's such a beautiful night, a perfect night, and the woods are so pretty, then I remembered the world we live in...'

'Things are still beautiful, it's just those walkers and the odd person that ain't' Alex nodded

'We should go back. It's late'

She ran down the rickety old staircase and out of sight before Daryl could stop her. Weaponless and vulnerable. How was that on guard? He shook his head, and followed. 

 

In the morning as Glenn went off again with Aiden and Nicholas, Daryl and Alex walked around Alexandria's walls, checking for any possible weakness. Rick had took them all that morning and told them he had made up his mind what they should do. Infiltrate, fit in, and change the residents’ attitudes to the outside, if they didn't, if they couldn't, they would just take over. Carol had pulled Rick aside after their meeting, and though Alex didn't hear all that was said, she heard Jessie's name come up, as well as little Sam's. 

'Jessie and Rick' Alex said as Daryl swung off a corrugated iron panel, testing its strength 'it's all going to end in tears somewhere' Daryl grunted as he landed back on his feet 

'They're grownups, I'm sure they'll be fine' Alex gave her own huff in response and kicked at another panel. It bent slightly, revealing a crack between it and its neighbour. She marked it with a chalk X for Reg, and moved on. 

It was then the shouting started. 

They jogged after the other residents who had also heard the commotion, Deanna shouting 'Aiden!' And found Glenn and Aiden almost nose to nose. Alex went to move forward, as Aiden said to his mother 'why did you let these people in?' and she saw Glenn retaliate, but Daryl pulled her back as Aiden swung for Glenn, missing and being thrown on the floor. It was then that Nicholas jumped in, and she was too slow to grab Daryl, his leather vest sliding easily through her fingers as she reached for him. Nicholas was on the floor, Aiden was on the floor, then Maggie, Rick and Michonne were there and everything calmed down quite quickly. She walked up behind Daryl, being tackled by Rick, and heard Rick whispering 

'Not now, not like this' and Daryl was up again, pacing back and forth like an animal, a tiger waiting to be let loose from his cage in Ancient Rome. But Rick was there, and Rick had the sense and power enough to stop Daryl making anymore stupid moves. 

Shit, Deanna looked pissed. Alex was aware of her talking, but didn't listen. She grabbed Daryl's arm, he was almost vibrating with adrenaline, that look of a caged beast still in his eyes, ready to pounce at any moment. He turned to her sharply as she touched him, and relaxed almost as quickly as he had been raged. She smiled a small smile and whispered 

'It's ok, it's me' and then the vibrating feeling of power through his body stopped. 

How do you do that? He wondered at her, feeling the adrenaline ebb away. 

She smiled and he felt the last remnants of his anger blink out. How long had she been this calming influence on him. He gave a single nod and she let go. 

'I'd like you to be our constable. That's what you are' Deanna was saying to Rick. Alex suddenly Realised the crowd had dissipated, Nick and Aiden gone, Maggie and Glenn heading back to house. She pulled at Daryl's arm to leave, get back to the task they had given themselves for the morning, but as Rick and Michonne headed to the house Deanna looked over to them and made to move in their direction.

Aww crap. Alex dropped Daryl's arm but he slung it very defensively around her shoulder. She wanted to shrug it off but didn't. 

'Daryl' Deanna chimed with a broad smile 'I hear Aaron has found a task for you.' Daryl have that single affirmative nod, and a quiet grunt 'I'm glad. I feel you need a purpose' she looked at Alex 'I have a proposal for you young lady. One you might like. For now I need to deal with Aiden and Nicholas. Good day' she walked away without looking back. Alex let out a long breath and turned to look at Daryl.

'Another thing,' she said, 'word gets around here quickly' she shrugged out of his shoulder and turned back to where they left the wall 'come on, this wall won't mark itself' 

 

Later in the day michonne and Rick were wearing police uniforms. Alex found it sickening. They needed no costume here. Was it ever authoritive in the first place? One look at Rick's face and you'd be intimidated. Michonne she was unsure of. Michonne had changed. She trusted her, and Michonne would follow Rick's command, but not before she questioned him, thoroughly, about every detail. Alex wasn't stupid, nor was she dead, far from it, and she heard often the whispers in the night between them. Alex was on Rick's side. This place was slow, and weak, and she hated it. 

Shit even Daryl was changing. Despite the morning's outburst he was more willing to take part in the Alexandria lifestyle. His family will always come first, and clearly he's always protect them, but still. He was a softer Daryl to the one she'd met in the forest somewhere in Georgia. 

She hated admitting to herself that she loved him, but the fact was she did, so whatever happened, she should just be accepting. But could she really? 

She was heading to Deanna and Reg's home with a plan of where the walls were in need of stabilising. She saw Pete saunter across the street towards their home, he knocked and Rick answered. Pete was drunk already. It wasn't even 4pm.

Reg answered the door when she knocked and welcomed her in. Maggie and Deanna were having a meeting, he said, if she wanted either of them. 

'No' she answered, 'Actually, Mr Monroe, I wanted you' she sat when he offered her a seat, declined a drink 

'Alex, you know you can call me Reg' Alex refused, however, to get to familiar. Reg was good people. Better than his wife and imbecile son. Getting too familiar would be wrong, she didn't want to be mourning his loss when he eventually succumbed to the real world. 

'Mr Monroe, Daryl and I have gone over the walls, and we've found some weak spots that could use attention' she handed over the hand drawn plan. 'Nothing too serious now, but if they get worse, or we get a storm,' she pointed at the plans 'this wall here has a bank behind it, a landslide will take the whole wall down, but a few hours on that one panel will save the lot' Reg smiled at her and looked over the plans again. 

“Where are the blueprints for this place Alex?” She widened her eyes at him innocently 

“Blue prints?” Reg nodded

“I see. Ok. That wall there is one of the first that went up, so I'm not surprised”

“We marked them for you, so they're easier to see. I wish I could help but I don't think lifting and moving corrugated metal will be a good idea, you know, I've been a bit poorly” Reg nodded 

“No, you're right, this was a good idea, thank you. I've been meaning to look myself but, you guys turned up and Deanna needed me for support. Thank you, again, Alex. It's really very helpful.” Alex smiled

“Well maybe I could have a word with Glenn, Maggie...” But Reg was shaking his head

“They all have their own jobs. Deanna did want to see you, but I don't think she's finished with Maggie” so nice, such a nice normal guy. Alex smiled again 

“It's ok, I'll catch up to her later.” She left, then. There was nothing more to say. He knew she'd taken the blue prints, but how else would they go missing coincidentally when she had?   She sighed and went to find Glenn, wanted to know what had really happened this morning. She couldn't see Aiden or Nicholas anywhere, probably licking their wounds in private. Or scheming to fuck shit up next time. Glenn was a runner, that was his calling here. Unfortunately it was Aiden and Nicholas's too. 

She stopped on the stoop and lit a cigarette before going in. She surveyed the suburb. People who walked past, they were few but still people did go by, whispered behind their hands or hurried along with their heads down. She had no idea what they'd be thinking, after she left and returned, maybe they wondered where she'd been, or how she'd found Rick and the group. Maybe they wondered about the well to do Brit and the vagabond with the crossbow. 

She didn't care. She told herself she didn't care. These people who were so intrigued by her accent and her story before, who made her casseroles and invited her to dinner. These parents whose kids she taught and whose dogs she offered to walk. 

Screw them

Arseholes, all of them. Not one had been up to say hello, welcome back. Not one of her 'friends' as professed by themselves, was being particularly friendly anymore. Maybe they were angry, or felt betrayed. Maybe Aiden had been bad mouthing her. The pitiful screw they'd had, her need to quell a desire not for him, not for love or romance, but just an animal need, had not been the best decision she'd ever made. Telling him he was bad in bed may not have helped.  She shuddered at the thought of his clammy hands on her and threw her cigarette into the grass. She turned for the door and walked in to find Rick behind it, almost as if he was about to leave. She smiled at him

“Off on your rounds, officer Grimes?” She asked, a playful lilt to her voice. He smiled back. 

“Never thought I'd wear a uniform again. I'm off to see Jessie, think they had some vandalism last night” he stopped, hand on the doorknob “if you see Carl can you send him to me?” Alex nodded

“Sure. I doubt he's far” Rick's face turned more grim

“He was seen scaling the gate with a girl earlier. I need to talk to him” Alex pulled a face. Uh oh, busted

“I will, of course” and Rick left. She found Glenn in the kitchen, nursing his head. He seemed furious at something.

“You were right” he said without looking up “I'm sorry I didn't listen, you were right” no sooner had the door closed, it opened again. 

“Alex, you have a visitor” Rick called before the door slammed again. 

“In the kitchen” she called back, then looked at Glenn “it's not your fault.” Glenn looked up. “You have to see first-hand sometimes, I get that”

“Ah” she heard from the door behind her “I'm glad I caught you together” Deanna. Alex closed her eyes a moment, then turned with a smile 

“Deanna. Hello. Would you like something to drink?” She'd already sat herself down. People in England wouldn't have done that, they'd wait to be asked. 

You're not in England anymore Alex. 

“No, thank you, this shouldn't take long. Alex, I know how desperately you wanted to be either a runner or a scout with Aaron before.” Alex nodded taking her own seat “well, Aaron has Daryl now, but clearly Aiden, Nicholas and Glenn need more help. There were six before, as you know, and three clearly doesn't cut it” Glenn rolled his eyes, Deanna ignored him “clearly Aiden and Nicholas need watching. I know they do. Aiden thinks he knows everything. You appeared to get on with him” Alex snorted louder than she intended to.

“Sorry” she covered “yes Aiden and I have history but it's ancient history now, Deanna” Deanna waved a dismissive hand. Alex sighed “ok. If Glenn's ok with it, I’ll go” Glenn nodded

“We could use all the help we can get!” 

“That's settled!” Deanna clapped her hands together looking pleased as punch. “Next run, I expect to go much smoother. Now, I have work to do. Good day to you both” she stood and Alex followed her to the door. “Don't let me down” Deanna said, turning back to her as she stepped onto the porch “you can keep those boys in line, I know how men are around you” and before Alex could answer, she was gone.  Cheeky mare.

“How guys are around you?” Glenn asked from behind her. She turned, tried to dismiss it with a shrug “Alex?” He persisted “what's going on?”

She walked by him, into the kitchen. He followed, a questioning look on his face. She filled a glass with water and sipped it before facing him squarely.

“I used to use my looks, ok?” She sipped again, put the glass down, picked it up. “I'm human, I have urges,” she shrugged  “I slept with Aiden” she drank nervously. Glenn threw his hands in the air

“Of course! Of course you did.” He shook his head with a disbelieving smile “it's too perfect.” Alex rolled her eyes

“Hey! Stop it. It was a weak moment in my life, mere hours before I left. Only thing is... I think I might have upset him. So the next run might be a bit... Tense” Glenn sat down. 

“As if they aren't already” he added for her. “Jesus Christ Alex” she smiled a cheeky smile

“Well, I didn't know I'd ever be coming back. I didn't know my actions would impact anyone else” she sipped her water then dumped the rest in the sink. “It was different then,” she answered his stare “didn't have other people to think about. I take more care now.” Glenn shook his head

“You better. We have enough to worry about” Alex shook her head 

“Oh you have no idea” she smiled. “But don't make this worse than it is already. And PLEASE don't let it get back to Daryl. It was a long time ago and I'm dealing with enough.” She left the room before he could answer, or take more offence. If she'd have known it was going to bite her in the arse she would have slept with someone else. 

She wasn't going to lie and say she wouldn't have slept with anyone, certainly not to herself. And why should she? Everyone had sex, everyone enjoyed sex. It was perfectly normal. 

Perfectly natural.

But ugh. Aiden. She really wished she hadn't bothered. 

 

That night Daryl had news of Bubbles. She was distraught to hear he'd been caught by walkers. 

“He was a beautiful horse” she said to Daryl. “Stunning. The kids saw him and were really looking forward to him coming here” she'd reached in her pack “I kept the little ones’ pictures of him. The innocence of children kind of kept me going” she showed him a couple of scrunched up pictures barely recognisable as a horse. He grunted. She sighed. “What happened?” 

“Aaron got too close and the damn thing fled straight inta a field of walkers” he shrugged “I'm sure Aaron din't mean to, but if he'd have stayed back a little longer I could have caught it. I'm sure I could have” Alex sighed again. 

“I have been given my role in the community as a runner. To try and keep the peace between Glenn Aiden and Nicholas” Daryl looked at her side ways 

“Uh huh” she nodded “s'what ya wanted” she smiled 

“Yeah. I'll see how it goes though. I'm not going to get caught up in their big mess if they can't sort themselves out.” Daryl thought a moment before nodding

“Yeah. You be careful though” Alex smiled at him, touched his arm, his bicep. They still made her tingle with glee.

“I can look after myself. Surely I've proven that much?” Daryl gave a half laugh

“Yeah, ain't you I'm worried about” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Big scene to follow :)


	14. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The first run was sooner than Alex had hoped'
> 
> Alex, Aiden, Nicholas and Glenn have to go on a run to fix the Safe Zone's electricity grid. They all get scared, but their fear affects them all very differently.

 

Their first run was sooner than Alex hoped. A few uneventful days later, the power tripped out, and shot the safe zone into temporary darkness. The grid needed fixing, because God forbid the microwaves didn't work.

She stood outside the house with Glenn in the early hours. Chewing her lip. A gun in her hand which wasn't hers, cold, heavy, unfamiliar. Her stick was strapped to her back, her machete at her hip, but Daryl, Glenn and Rick insisted she take a gun. She folded her arms and tapped her toes, waiting for Aiden and Nick. Glenn was trying not to appear annoyed with Alex's impatience. Then the van pulled up, music blaring. Alex tskd under her breath.

“Do you mind, Aiden? Judith is sleeping” Aiden turned to her in disbelief. Alex smiled “ah, mom not tell you?” She emphasised the ‘o’ in mom as a slur against him. He didn't seem to notice

“What the hell Alex. This isn't a game, this is for the big boys” she stifled a laugh, asking him

“So why are you going?” Glenn smiled to himself, and Aiden saw him

“Yeah, well, if you're coming you better just do as your told and not get in the goddamned way” Alex smiled sweetly at him 

“You know me, Aiden” he snorted

“Yeah more than I'd like. Hop in, we've got work to do” she automatically jumped into the passenger seat, leaving Nicholas and Glenn to step in the back together. Probably not her wisest move, splitting the troupes. 

“If this is going to go smoothly we need to just get on” she said to Aiden's profile as he drove through the gate. He nodded slowly

“Already done” he smiled a cheeky smile. Alex rolled her eyes

“Oh you're funny” he laughed 

“No really, already forgot, what was the deal with us again?” Alex narrowed her eyes but didn't bite. Aiden was looking smug as ever. She tried to ignore it, and they drove in silence to the warehouse. 

 

When they pulled up outside Aiden and Nicholas jumped out of the van without even looking what they were getting into. Glenn stood in the open rear doorway of the van and scoped around a moment before jumping out.  Alex instinctively checked the passenger wing mirror before opening the door, holding her gun in one hand, closing the door silently behind her. Aiden and Nicholas were making too much noise and she was already infuriated with them both, putting her and Glenn in danger, putting their stupid selves in danger! With eyes all around her staring forward she backed away from the van, being the only eyes covering their backs. 

They didn't have time to be pissed off, but they also didn't have time to be stupid. 

“We can get in and out here” Aiden pointed at the main door. “Looks quiet, we'll get the transformer, be out in five minutes” Glenn shook his head 

“We need to check all possible exits. If we walk in and walkers surround us from behind, we need to know how we get out.” Glenn pointe to his own chest “I suggest, we walk around the outside, weigh up our options” Aiden thought a moment, while Nicholas argued and began to complain, but Aiden held a hand up, stopping his flow of expletives and huffing and sulking. 

“Ok” Aiden said. “We'll try this your way Glenn. Best to know there's a plan b” Nicholas started again, but Alex put a hand on his chest, firmly.

“Shut your face, and do as you're told” he stopped jabbering, but looked entirely disgusted at Alex's touch. She rolled her eyes at his sneer and moved on to follow Glenn and Aiden. Nicholas trudged behind. 

With Nicholas behind her Alex felt exposed, so she stood back to let him pass, so that she could keep watch at the rear. 

She pondered how much her attitude had changed since finding Rick and the others. How her priorities had shifted from just barely watching her own back, to needing to watch out for others. She had to do it, she wanted everyone to be safe. It was a good feeling. A wonderful feeling of being part of something bigger again. Since the turn, that was hard to come by. 

They'd circled the building and found several exits which could be used in case of emergency. They stood again where they had started and Glenn banged on the door. Aiden and Nicholas appeared confused, but Glenn told them to wait.

“This is what we do” he said. But nothing came. Nicholas, seemingly impatient with the new slower pace barged the door open, slamming it into the wall. “Or you could draw attention to us that way” Glenn mused. Alex rolled her eyes and followed the guys into the building. It seemed empty, at first. 

But then the moans and groans of walkers drifted to them down the long, tall corridors. Rack upon rack, stacked almost ceiling high with boxes, stood before them. The echoey moans had no real direction, they could be coming from any dark corner, from any unseen corridor. 

Glenn shone his flashlight around and the light flew back from something shiny in front of them

“Fences” Glenn said. “They're fenced in” a walker threw itself at the chain link, and the rattle it created echoed through the warehouse amidst the moans. Alex felt entirely creeped out, but fear kept her on the edge. She liked it. Another walker, then a third, threw themselves against the mesh, their moans louder at the prospect of four meaty meals in front of them. They may not have eaten for weeks, months. Alex felt adrenaline rushing through her veins. Blood pumped in her ears. This was the thrill she had been seeking. This was what she missed. 

“Ok” Glenn spoke up “we need to split up. Alex and Nicholas, go find the parts we need, Aiden and I will keep watch,” he looked at the others “ok?” They nodded, Nicholas rather reluctantly. They separated, Alex very aware that every time the group split could be the last time they ever saw each other, and a surge of excitement tingled through her nerve endings again. She started looking at the boxes, they appeared stacked by contents, so that was a start. She moved cautiously to the next aisle, Nicholas right beside her.

“Be quicker if we check separate aisles” she whispered to him “your mouth breathing down my neck is irritating, too” Nicholas huffed next to her. 

“I don't like you either” he said loudly

“Shhhhh”

“You really hurt Aiden, bad. That pissed me off” Alex rolled her eyes

“All in the past Nick” she scanned another box for a label “hey, I think we got it” she turned the way Aiden and Glenn had walked away “guys I think I got it!” She called as Nicholas ripped the box open. Glenn was heading towards her, a grin on his face that screamed “ _good job, Alex_ ” and she smiled back at him proudly. 

Then she saw the armoured walker heading for Aiden a few shelf stacks away. She called out and he turned to her, the walker edging forward relentlessly. Automatically Aiden drew his gun, shots pinging from the walker’s battle gear, not leaving a single mark. She went to rush forward, to help to stop him wasting bullets, everything turned to slow motion as Glenn caught her around the middle as she yelled out again, her hair flew and her body bent with the force of Glenn's tackle, as Glenn himself yelled for Aiden to stop, Aiden stop! Grenade!

Then everything went white. 

Her ears were ringing with a thousand bells. She sat up, not sure how she got to ground in the first place. Her face was sore and her arms were burning. Glenn was still half wrapped around her but he was awake. He stood instinctively and pulled her up

“You ok?” She barely heard the words he spoke but nodded. She'd be fine once the ringing stopped. Glenn's eyes went wide as he looked past her and she turned to see walkers everywhere. The fence had broken in the blast from the grenade

“Aiden?!” She asked, her voice far away, even to her own ears. Shit. Glenn looked around, and then Nicholas was there, his face was wet and he was visibly shaken 

“Dead” was all he said and Glenn pointed him out. Alex turned to see him impaled on a shelf. Her gut wrenched at the sight of him. Hanging limply, metal spikes from the broken shelving poking through his body. 

Glenn was already moving away from the walkers, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her through a door, Nicholas close behind. 

 

Glenn pushed the door shut and put his hands in his hair.

“Shit” he said “we need to get out” Alex leant against the wall as her hearing came back and her head span. She looked at Nicholas, pale, shocked, scared. In his hands was the transformer they needed, so that was something. This wasn't a bust, after all. 

Glenn knelt on the floor of the office and began to draw in the dust there. Alex recognised it as a plan of the building. 

“The walkers were here, and if the blast only knocked out a small hole, they'll still be in this area.” Alex nodded. “The exits are here, here, we came in here” he marked the areas with x's and Alex looked up. Nicholas was visibly still shaken, his skin pale, his eyes wide. 

“You need to see this, Nicholas” his gaze shifted in her direction, but he looked through her “Nicholas!” She tried again. “NICHOLAS” she stepped into his personal space and yelled. His eyes flickered slightly, and she had his attention “come and help us work out how we get out. We've lost Aiden. But let's make sure the rest of us get out ok” she grabbed his shoulders and looked at him “ok?”

He nodded, still sweating buckets and shaking. 

They planned an escape. It would take them right by Aiden and Nicholas balked at the idea initially, until Glenn told him he may die if they tried a different route. 

Alex opened the office door slowly, Machete held high, ears still ringing. 

“It's clear” she whispered behind her to the others “quick quiet, we might be ok” she tiptoed out and headed towards Aiden's limp body. She felt the others behind her, but the lack of being able to hear them was making her anxious. She relied so much on her hearing. As they reached the broken stacking where Aiden hung by his own weight she stopped. He was breathing

“Oh my god, Aiden!” She said louder than she meant to. “Aiden?” She leaned in close as his eyes opened and he moaned.  Glenn was beside her in a single step and Nicholas not far. In a moment of undeniable clarity Nicholas pulled out his flare. As he did so Alex and Glenn began to look for a way to save Aiden, to remove him from his impalement. Nicholas was twitchy, nervous, and eager to leave. 

“Come on come on, he's never gonna survive the journey back. Let's go. Let's GO” Alex looked at him, completely aghast. 

“Nicholas, no”

“You stand here and help us. You help us!” Glenn yelled, stunned by Nicholas' lack of loyalty. Nicholas moved close to Aiden then, whispered something Alex couldn't make out, but Glenn appeared to hear. His face was a picture as Nicholas then ran away from them.

“Glenn” Alex said nervously “Glenn the flare is about to go out. The walkers are losing interest” Aiden began to moan again. He reached an arm slowly, weakly, for Glenn. The conversation was not meant for Alex, she couldn't hear anyway. She stood back to back with Glenn and kept watch as Aiden undoubtedly begged and pleaded forgiveness. She held her machete high in one hand, her gun high in the other. Shit these walkers were getting bored now “Glenn.” He didn't move “Glenn, come on we have to leave, we have to go!” She sheathed her Machete and grabbed Glenn's arm as he leant away from Aiden's whispering mouth. He wasn't eager to leave, his face was sad and disbelieving. She pulled again “Come on Glenn. NOW!” Walkers closed in just as she managed to get Glenn out of reach. She turned back before she realised what she was doing, and saw walkers rip into Aiden's stomach. Bile threatened to rise from her own belly as an image of her kissing that stomach flashed in her head. Tears wet her eyes, but the sound of Glenn's gun brought her to herself, and she joined him shooting their way through the crowd of hungry monsters. She wasn't as cold hearted as she thought.

 

They reached the revolving door they'd seen earlier when touring the building. And there was Nicholas, desperately trying to push his way out of it, but walkers were pushing from the other side, and there was a deadlock. Instinctively Glenn and Alex ran forward, pushing against the revolving door. 

“There's too many” Alex said, finally giving in to fear. Panic clear in her voice. “Do you have any bullets left?” Glenn shook his head

“No. Nicholas?” But Nicholas didn't answer. He was too busy just trying to run. Alex wasn't surprised, but Glenn was furious. “Nicholas, you need to calm down and take a moment to think. You get through the door and then what? There are walkers everywhere.” Nicholas looked up, his face panicked. He pushed and kicked at the door in a blind frenzy. As he did so bullets fell out of his pockets, but he didn't heed them. The dead continued to growl and groan before them. Their lack of exhaustion really pissed Alex off. If they would just tire a little, weaken the tiniest bit. She looked again toward Nicholas. Her back against the glass in the door, her feet shuffling, sliding, on the floor in her stupid holey boots. Nicholas was fiddling with the door, in his own quarter of it. She frowned, then realised.

“Nicholas, no! Wait I can get us out” she heard Glenn saying. But Nicholas was almost done, and then he was gone, gone into the crowd of moaning beasts, the door wedged open. She tried now to keep it closed, not open it up.

“Fuck. Fuck!! Glenn, what do we do?” Glenn was thinking, his face contorted. He was furious but couldn't let that harangue him now. The door began to give, little by little, as the walkers pressed on and Nicholas' wedge began to move “Glenn?!?” She yelled, aware that she would be exposed next if the walkers got their way. She holstered her gun, useless now with no bullets, and drew her machete instead. She tested the weight, more comfortable than the firearm, and looked to Glenn for guidance. He had no weapon, she noticed now. Crap.  “We need to make a run for it” she said. “We have to just … go. I'll go, lead them away from the door, you stay still and quiet as you can and they'll chase me Glenn. Ok?” Glenn didn't want to put someone else in danger. They'd lost Aiden already. 

“There's no other way” he said then. “Alex, you run and run and don't look back. No point all of us dying.” Alex shook her head 

“I'll see you outside, Glenn. Come on, stop being so negative. We can do this, look how much you've done already.” A crack appeared in the glass behind her legs and she looked Glenn in the eye. “Ok Glenn? I'll draw them out. Come on.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, blowing air out of pursed lips in a long stream. Then she stood straight and yelled whilst shouldering the door, her Machete ready to strike anything in her way. She was still yelling as the door gave way, as walkers tumbled at the sudden lack of solidity in front of them. She yelled as she ran, stamping the fallen, swiping at the standing. She yelled as they grabbed at her cuffs, her laces, her backpack. She ran and swiped and yelled and ran. Ran. She circled the corner of the building, the van was still there, walkers were behind her. Nicholas was in the van, trying desperately to start it. Nerves stopping him. The engine turned and turned and didn't catch.

 

Alex turned as a walker lunged for her shoulder. She danced away, swiped at it as it stumbled, and stabbed it as it sprawled on the floor. She felt a hand on her shoulder and moved swiftly to turn and stab, but it was Glenn. 

“Oh my god” she said “oh my god” she was exhausted, completely out of air. Overwhelmed with fear and relief. She sank to her knees after ensuring the trail of walkers behind Glenn were all dead.

Glenn ripped open the driver's door of the van and dragged Nicholas from it. Alex heard rather than saw the pummelling Glenn gave him. His frustration clear. His anger and disbelief overwhelming. 

She heard the back door of the van open and close again. Then Glenn's hand was around her bicep and she was being lifted. She turned to him and threw her arms around his neck

“We made it, Glenn. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I had to run but I knew you could do it” she pulled away, Glenn's face was disturbed, so she composed herself. “You ok to drive?” She asked him, and he nodded. She nodded once back, a habit she could only have picked up from Daryl, and climbed slowly into the passenger seat. She threw her head back against the headrest, and let out a huge sigh. Now she started shaking, shock setting in. But she was glad. She still had human emotions and feelings. That was good. 

Glenn started the van on the first try, and they headed back, one man lighter, one man unconscious, but they got the transformer... As if that was a consolation.

 

 

“I sent you to keep them SAFE!” Deanna yelled when she heard the news of her son. “To keep them safe” her legs threatened to give way, Alex wanted to rush forward but restrained herself.

Reg took his wife around the waist and led her away. Alex, whose hearing was beginning to return, could hear her sniffling all the way to her house. Nicholas was awake again, and he made an effort to avoid them all as he scurried away from the van. 

Alex just wanted to sleep. It was the middle of the afternoon but she just wanted her bed. Daryl was out with Aaron, Michonne and Carl nowhere to be seen. Rick wanted to talk to Glenn and Alex, but she wasn't sure what she'd say in her exhaustion. 

She slowly lumbered to the house behind everyone else, Glenn, Carol, Maggie, and flopped onto the living room.

“What happened out there?” Rick asked. So they weren't going to get time to regroup their own thoughts. “I need to get all the information, while it’s fresh” Rick said, as though he read her mind. Must be a sibling thing. She'd never had one before, she didn't know. She shook her head. 

“It was fine, until the grenade” together she and Glenn told the story of what had happened at the warehouse. How they felt about Aiden. And Nicholas. Alex couldn't help the told you so tone that came out when Glenn spoke of the things Aiden whispered, and the way Nicholas had run at the first opportunity. Rick gave her a look, _'you're not helping'_ that look said. But Rick was on her side, they really were together in this whole Alexandria debacle. 

“You only need to be loyal to your own people” He said then. Glenn stood, looking at Rick incredulous

“These are our people now” he said, before turning and leaving the room. Rick turned to Alex

“You ok?” She shook her head. No. But she didn't have the energy to speak. Her arms still burned,

She was covered in the blood of both people and walkers, and she had almost been left to die. The positivity she felt in the revolving door was gone. Now she was exhausted and pissed.  ”You'll be ok” he said. “You will. You were right about all of this, and I think your gut is the most honest of all of ours. You saved Glenn's life twice today.” Alex shook her head again

“No.” She swallowed “it is what it is. We do, what we do” she got up and stepped for the door 

“Think that's wise?” Carol asked her “going out there after Aiden died today?” Alex put her hand on the door and lowered her head

“At least now they might understand” she said, quietly, before opening the front door and heading for the porch. 

 

She sat on the edge and lit a cigarette. As she did so she got a good look at her arms. Blisters bubbled from the grenade blast.

There were cuts all over her hands, she thought perhaps the glass in the door had finally given way when she shoved through. Her shoulder ached. Her head ached. Her eyelids were heavy. She flicked her cigarette onto the grass and got up to go inside again. Shower, sleep. It's all she wanted in the world. Until she saw Daryl, arriving back through the gate with Aaron, and her mood shifted. Daryl. Something deep inside her smiled, even though she had no energy to smile on the outside. 

He was chatting, as much as Daryl chatted with anyone, with Aaron, but Aaron stopped, looking over Daryl's shoulder at Alex. Slowly Daryl turned and something on Alex's face had him rushing to her. 

“What the hell, girl” he grabbed her as her legs gave way and held her up. She sobbed into his shoulder, breathing in the earthy smell of his leather vest, the wholly manly smell of him. It was better than smelling salts and she came to herself, still sobbing a little, but able to stand.  She pulled away from him and looked at him.  ”What happened” he said again, taking in the dishevelled, dirty sight of her. She shook her head and hugged him again, noticing he wasn't putting his arms round her. The burns, of course. He turned to Aaron, and suggested they meet up again later, to which Aaron asked 

“Is there anything I can do?” But Daryl didn't know, he had no idea what had happened. 

“Tomorrow, ok” Aaron nodded and left them to it. “We should go in” he said to Alex, she leant back from him, looked up, ever so slightly, at him. She nodded and stood back. Daryl looked over her again, head to toe and back again and whatever he saw clearly angered him. He grabbed her hand and dragged her into the house. 

 

When the door was closed, he span to face her.

“What the hell happened today?” He rubbed his mouth “ya burned. Ya cut to shit” she nodded. Explained as best she could, but she was shattered. Daryl followed the story, interjecting with questions.

“And Nicholas?” He said when she finished. 

“Glenn beat him unconscious. I don't blame him, but I don't know where he got the energy, and when we got back he scuttled off. Oh Daryl Deanna is so pissed at us. So pissed. I don't think she'll ever come around now” she shook her head and slouched down on the couch 

“You're a mess” he said. “Have ya seen ya self?” Alex looked at him. Shook her head again and tried to stand. “You don't go out there again. Not with him. You wanna go out you recruit with me and Aaron” Alex stood, finally, and headed for the stairs.

“Come up with me” she asked him “tell me about your day so I don't have to think about mine, while I rest” she held out a hand and he took it. She squeezed and led the way to their room. 

 

She was drifting asleep to the sound of Daryl's voice when he mentioned the woman tied to a tree. A W emblazoned on her head. Her guts spilling out of an open wound. Alex's eyes snapped open

“A W?” She asked. Daryl nodded

“Yeah. Seen it before, when I came lookin for ya.” He shrugged, “once, on a walker, but it was a head and torso. The rest was gone.” Alex pulled a face

“Gone?” Daryl nodded 

“Yeah. Just. Gone” Alex chewed her lip. “I thought it was Beth.” Daryl said suddenly “at first, just for a second” Alex. Nodded, not really listening.  “Of course it wasn't. I know that. I knew that. But, she was young, blonde” he trailed off “Alex?” She focused on him

“Yeah?” She chewed her lip a little more “oh Daryl. It must have been so hard. I know what she meant to you” she reached out to him, but he jerked out of reach

“What's goin' on?” Alex frowned at him, dropping her hand

“Going on? Nothing, what?” Daryl was glaring at her, still leaning away despite Alex having lowered her hand.

“What do you know Alex?” She frowned at him a moment before giving in. Relaxing her face. 

“There's a group. Not a big group, no more than a handful...” Daryl leaned forward and she felt very intimidated suddenly. “They... They.” She was lost for words. “I followed them, ages ago. They... They trap people, and... They mark them and hunt them... Like a game” she leant back down on the pillows. “I don't know why. I don't understand. I tried to, but what if they caught me?” She shrugged “so I stopped trying to get it” she looked at Daryl, his stare accusatory. 

“You didn't mention them”

“It was so long ago. I'd all but forgotten until we ended up here in Alexandria.” She sighed “there wasn't much to tell, you guys can look after yourselves” Daryl wasn't so easy to dismiss it though. 

“I saw that limbless body and worried for you. Out there. With them. You knew what was happening and did nothing” Alex's jaw dropped

“Err, hang on. I didn't see bodies lying around and do nothing. I followed these guys like, well over a year ago, for all I knew when I came back here they were all dead. I didn't even know I’d end up back here! Jesus Daryl, what do you want me to say? Oh, just by the by, guys, in Alexandria there's a group of freaks killing people. Who aren't a group of freaks these days? I've killed people, you've killed people...” She trailed off. Shrugged “I didn't carve my initials in anyone's head, but I've murdered people” Daryl was trying not to smile at that.

“Self-defence is different from murder, Alex.” He shrugged “but if I see AG on anyone's forehead I know where to find you” he stood up “I'll let you get some sleep.” He leant and softly brushed his lips on her forehead. “Just for the record, I don't think either of us killed no one who dint deserve it”


	15. Boots. An Interval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Alexandria mourns it's loss, Alex goes out with Daryl and Aaron for the first time. 
> 
> Naturally, trouble follows her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quickie, written in a short time.  
> Consider it an interval.  
> Enjoy! x

An air of mourning swept over Alexandria the next day. Alex sat on the porch, a cigarette still unlit in her hand, as she looked across the street. Tumbleweeds filtered through her mind as she looked around at the desolateness of it all. 

She felt bad for Deanna and her family. Felt sad at the loss of Aiden. He was a prick, but he appeared to be coming around just before his stupidity took over, and he shot the grenade on the riot walker's utility belt. Glenn told her what he said, what he had whispered with his dying breath. She wasn't surprised that the deaths were at his and Nicholas' hands, and it was so sad. 

She lit the cigarette and dropped the lighter to the wood paneled floor of the porch, looking up at the grey and cloudy sky. Even the weather was mourning after yesterday. She wondered absently if outside the walls the sun was shining, like every other spring day she'd had the fortune to live through. 

This was depressing. She stood up and sighed, leaning against the railing. Daryl was crossing the street towards her, having been to see Aaron about her joining them on recruitment runs. His face was grim, but he was always grim. 

"Ok" he said, climbing the steps. "You can come," he gave a thin lipped and tight smile, one side of his mouth moving up ever so slightly. Alex smiled back, but didn't feel it. "That's good, right? I mean, you wanna go out, doncha?"Alex nodded, without hesitation.

"It's just... ugh what a miserable day! I feel so... depressed" Daryl moved in closer and 

"You'll be aight" he said quietly "Tough one, yesterday. It happens" She smiled at him gratefully, he seemed to understand. 

"And Rick went nuts at Carl earlier this morning. He's been cavorting with some girl, well, Enid. I think she's new, I don't remember her" Daryl grunted in reply, uninterested. Alex chewed the inside of her lips, her cheek, and Daryl put a hand on her shoulder.

"You wanna stay home today? Me and Aaron be aight without ya" she shook her head. 

"No. I need to just get on with it." she stubbed her cigarette out and turned for the door of the house. "And I really need to get away from here today"

In the house she began to dress her burns with half a bottle of moisturiser and started to wrap her arms in Saran Wrap. It stung, and she gritted her teeth, struggling with her ight arm. Daryl watched her try a moment before taking over, gently he took the cling film from her and wrapped her right arm. He pulled the wrap tight and she drew in a sharp breath between her teeth.

"Sorry" He mumbled, as she squeezed her eyes closed against the pain "OK" he stopped fussing "Done. Can you bend it?" He'd left her elbow free, wrapping the top and bottom of her arm separately. She smiled at him

"Thanks. I'm going to go and get changed" she dashed off upstairs, leaving Daryl in the kitchen. He put the wrap away and leant back against the counter.

Having found some Jeans and a long sleeve T-Shirt in the drawers in their room, Alex looked forlornly at her boots. The hole had gotten so much worse yesterday. She wondered if Daryl and Aaron would mind if she requested new ones. Darl couldn't moan... she was pretty desperate. She pulled them on, and wondered, not for the first tiime, if there was any Duct Tape in this town.

She jogged downstairs and poked her head into the kitchen. "Daryl?" He looked up "Weird question, do we have any Duct Tape?" he pulled a face, so she walked right into the room and showed him, much to his amusement. The sole and upper of her boot were so badly split, that when she wriggled her toes he could see her socked foot. He snorted, but Alex wasn't impressed.

"Hey! It's not funny. If my feet get screwed up because of this I'll be no help to anyone" Daryl tilted his head at her

"I'd love if that would happen, if I could just keep you locked up out of harms way." he smiled his tiny tight lipped smile at her "Outta trouble" He shook his head at her smile "Yeah, yeah, I know... Trouble just finds you" Alex narrowed her eyes at him.

"Daryl Dixon!" He looked at her, shocked at the use of his full name "These need sorting before we go, and while we are out there I need new Boots. We don't have to go to a _mall_ , We don't have to get _beaten up_ by anyone" Daryl was no longer smiling, so she stopped. He looked at her a moment before giving that nod of his.

"'K. We'll see what we can do. I think there's some Gaffer Tape in Aaron's garage. C'mon" He pushed away from the counter and led the way to Aaron and Eric's

 

"There's a hunter's shop not far" Aaron was saying as Daryl taped up Alex's foot. "There are no guns left, not much in the way of ammo, but there's some clothing. We'll drop by" Daryl grunted. "No?" Aaron asked.

"Is it safe?" Alex translated "I find trouble, apparently" Daryl snorted but didn't offer anything else. Aaron smiled

"Oh, it's... well. It's as safe as can be expected" Daryl stood and turned to Aaron

"'K. We'll go. Maybe we'll leave this'un in the car" Alex rolled her eyes

" _This'un_ can look after herself!" Daryl snorted again, but arguing was wasting time. "Right. I'm strapped up and strapped in. Are we ready?"

 

As they left the house, Alex noticed Glenn and Nicholas nose to nose in the street. Glenn had hold of Nicholas's arm. She wanted to go forward, to interupt and break them up, but Daryl's hand was already on her shoulder, holding her back before she could move.

"Nah, they're alright" he said. He squeezed her shoulder and hopped in to the front of Aaron's car. She watched another moment,

"I know what you did. And it's not gonna happen again." she heard Glenn say. she narrowed her eyes, but opened the back door of the car and slid in. Aaron opened the gate, and Daryl drove through, waiting as Aaron shut the gate behind them. He got in the car and they headed off. Alex wondered what was happening with Glenn and Nicholas. Weren't they both in enough trouble? She wondered how Deanna and her family were doing. Yes they were weak, and in one sense they were stupid, but they were human. She sighed to herself. She looked out the window as trees flew past them, as they headed for a main road and freedom from the woods. She thought absently about the merits of the forest versus the cities. Surely now the dead were wandering a little further in search of food. After years in the cities they must be moving out. What else was moving further afield in search of food? How long until bears and wolves moved south? She chewed on her lip and watched the trees whizz past.

She was completely unprepared for Daryl to slam on the anchors, and she slid forward in her seat, bumping her outstretched hands on the back of Aaron's seat.

"Ow!" she complained, but no one paid her any mind. Within seconds Daryl and Aaron were out of the car.

"More W's" Aaron said, forlornly. He looked over as Alex got out of the car. She sauntered over, looked down at what Daryl had stopped so sharply for. A dozen or more dismembered torsos and heads were scattered around him. He stood in the centre of them, looking around helplessly. She hadn't seen him look so hopeless since Marco and his friends had captured them. It was a horrible sight. He looked up at her.

"where are they, Alex?" he aked, much to Aaron's confusion. "You followed them, where did they go? where do they live?" Aaron looked between them, from Alex, to Daryl and back again.

"Alex?" he asked, "What is going on?" Alex sighed

"I don't know" she answered Daryl, rather than Aaron. "I followed them but found nothing. I just saw them trap and hunt people"

"People?!" Aaron was aghast "Alex you never said"

"I had already left" she cut him off "I just saw them hunting people. branding them this way and hunting them. I got out of the way as soon as I could, I didn't want to be branded" She looked at her feet "I don't know," she shrugged, kicked an invisible stone. "I, I wish I knew more, I didn't know it would come to this, get this big" She looked up to see Aaron looking distraught and Daryl looking stern. She'd tried to be honest with them, she'd told them all she knew. "What? Tell me what you want to know, and I'll try and help"

"who are they? How many? What are they trying to prove?" Alex shrugged at Daryl

"I don't know. You have to believe me!" Daryl turned away from her, disgust on his face. that cut her deep

"Ya've held so much back so far. Why should we believe what you say now?" Aaron stepped forward.

"I believe you, Alex" Daryl looked at him, a scowl on his face. "If you're sure you can't tell us any more" he trailed off, aware of Daryl's stare. he turned to face him "Daryl, why wouldn't she tell us?" Daryl shrugged but offered no words. Alex stepped up to him, encircled by the torsos of the unwitting dead.

"Daryl." He looked at her, face still screwed up, closed. Eyes still narrow behind his greasy bangs. "Daryl, Look at me, really really look at me, and tell me you think I am part of this, that you think that I would keep anything I thought was vital information from you. YOU. Not Rick not Glenn, not the others, not Alexandria, not the group. YOU." His face didn't change, and Alex fought the urge to smack him "Daryl, I love you, why would I lie? Why?" immediately Daryl's face softened, but Alex felt cheated. Tricked into saying things she herself hated to hear. They stared at eachother for some time before she heard Aaron cough politely behind her.

"Erm, that... was... great. But we need to get moving" Alex turned back to Daryl

"you infuriating, redneck, white trash arsehole" she muttered at him smiling. She growled at him as he turned back to the car. The smug bastard. He was still grinning as they drove away from the pile of half rotten half corpses, Still none the wiser as to the whys and wherefores.

 

They went to the hunting shop, Daryl still looking smug the whole journey, Alex scowling out of the rear window. Aaron trying to ease the tension.

The shop had been completely ransacked, over two floors. Alex headed straight into the clothing section, Aaron and Daryl scouted around for anything useful. There were only two or three pairs in her size. She decided to try them on. She sat on the floor and removed the rotten gaffer taped boots she had worn for three years almost straight. In her socked feet she stood and reached for the first pair, soft brown leather lace ups which would come most of the way to her knee. She'd finished tying the first one when she heard a bit of a scuffle at the front of the shop. She looked up, hurriedly pulling on the second boot. There was a crash as something, a display, maybe, or a mannequin, went over. Rather than tying the lace on the second boot she tucked it in and went to investigate. She pulled her machete from her hip and crept forward. It was all suddenly far too quiet. Where were Aaron and Daryl? She took another step, noticing that her new boots squeaked a little, or was it the floor? She took another step, cautiously. No noise from her shoes this time. she heard shuffling behind her and turned sharply to see Daryl, his finger to his lips in a hushing gesture. He was crouched low behind a stuffed and mounted deer. It would have been funny if she wasn't so damn on edge. Scared to move, too scared to even breath, she locked eyes with Daryl, hoping her face was questionning, but unsure if her muscles were obeying her brain. Was it people? Walkers? Where was Aaron? Daryl just stared straight back at her. Not a sound, not a movement. She screwed up her face at him, it took a lot of effort, but he just put his finger to his lips again. Well that was infuriating.

Without warning Daryl's face changed, he was listening hard. He put his finger to his lips a third time and signed at her. He held up four fingers, then pointed to his left, Alex's right. She mouthed 'Aaron' but Daryl just shrugged. She was confused. Four walkers? She could do them herself.

Unless.

She listened, but heard nothing. No moaning, no shuffling, no growling.

People. 

Crap. She was crouched low behind a display cabinet, and her thighs were starting to sing. She lowered herself to all fours, and crawled forward to look around the cabinet. She couldn't see anything. Weren't they looking for recruits? Aaron obviously wasn't comfortable unless he had followed people a little way first. It made sense, but she felt perhaps it was a little cowardly, and she was most shocked at Daryl. 

She looked back at him, and his face was a picture of stress. What the hell had walked in here? She looked away from him, around the cabinet, toward the entrance to the shop. These people were damned quiet. Either that or they had left. She turned back to Daryl, sat on the floor, and closed her eyes. Well aware of her signature moves by now, Daryl just kept watch from his ridiculous position.

Alex tuned in as much as she could. She could hear Daryl breathing, she could feel her pulse in her ears. If she could just tune that out... There! her eyes snapped open and she pointed to her right. Daryl nodded. She held up a single finger. One. They had split up. She closed her eyes again and slowed her breathing. footsteps, above. she looked at Daryl, pointed to the ceiling, then showed him two fingers. Where was the fourth, and where the hell was Aaron? The unmistakable sound of footsteps above grew louder as the two up there headed towards the stairs, the flight was no more than 3 feet from Alex's left. She took a deep breath and hurried across the short space between her and Daryl. He used his free arm to hold her back behind him, pushing her in with a force so she understood to keep in, keep out of sight.

These fucking boots were going to be the death of her.

She tucked in tight and well hidden behind Daryl's back and listened, but now her heart was too fast, too loud, and with Daryl so close it was hard to concentrate on anything but his breathing. He breathed LOUD. Then talking. She couldn't make out the words, they were low, almost under breath. Wise people, clever people. Does that make them more or less dangerous, she wondered.

They were heading to the door when one shouted

"Hey, Stan! Lookie here!" her heart sped up, and she was sure she could feel Daryl's pulse even though she wasn't touching him. Maybe they weren't so clever, or they were upstairs doing a sweep.

"Ey, Ey, Stanny boy" The most stereotypical New Yorker accent she'd ever heard. So that was two of them, by the door. Come on Stan, where are you? She heard a fluttering sound, soft, not quite paper. Magazines? Was there a magazine rack there?

"Heh, whatever she's selling I'm buyin'" a third voice. Stan? Maybe. More page fluttering. Really, they were oggling lady hunters in all their half naked, gun toting, glory? An urge to giggle bubbled up in her and she bit her tongue. She must have made a noise as Daryl's hand shot back behind him, trying to push her back tight again. "C'mon Stan, lets get outta here" Ok, not Stan. Stan was still in the shop. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again. She could easily hear the three by the door, laughing, joking, "eh lookit, was that car here a minute ago?" they shuffled outside.

"The Buick" Alex tuned them out. She listened hard. She couldn't hear a thing. She looked at Daryl, he was peeking around the deer's neck, trying to see, clearly failing. He sat back and turned to her

"Ya hear anythin'?" she shook her head. Daryl gave a light sigh, and turned to look around the Deer's neck again. As he did Alex heard the click of a hand gun being cocked. Crap. CRAP. It wasn't next to their heads, but it was warning enough for her to keep down, keep still and keep quiet.

"Stan, stop fucking around" she heard from the door. "What the hell are you doing?" 

"Gonna catch me a deer!" she heard from in front of them, then a chuckle.

"Deer's already dead, man, you high?"

"Gonna shoot it right between the eyes!" Alex's heart sped up. just walk on Stan, she urged in her head Leave the goddamned

"Deer alone, and get outta there! You wanna draw attention, shooting that shitty little thing of yours off for no reason?" There was a guffaw by the door as another voice joined in

"Yeah, don't be shooting that handgun either" more guffaws as foot steps, big heavy ones, headed towards her and Daryl. she looked at him beside her, and he shook his head ever so slightly. Don't move, that shake said, don't you do it girl. The footsteps stopped just in front of them. A shelving unit stood between them and Mr big feet. If he came to the left, they were exposed, but on the right there was a stack of boxes, hapharzard and teetering. Alex tried to slow her breathing, she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Dayl looked at her and pointed at his eyes 'look at me, you'll be fine, just look at me' so she did. She blocked out everything else entirely, all noise, all fear, and stared him right in the eyes. Her breathing slowly evened out, but Big Feet still hadn't left. He still stood just the other side of that unit.

"Hey" he shouted "Fellas look" oh no, oh no! Alex swallowed and continued to look at Daryl.

"Stan! stop messing around" came a voice from the door.

"Nah, fellas, LOOK" Stan was eager, footsteps at the door, getting closer and closer, and moving slowly to the left. Shit SHIT. She pointed to the left of them, the steps were approaching steadily, slowly, but they were stil on the left. Daryl gave a single nod, held out his palm to her. 'Stay' If she wasnt so scared she'd have compared his gesture to the command for a dog.

Then the crazy son of a bitch jumped up. JUMPED UP. Alex wanted to follow, wanted to pull him back. What the hell was he doing? But she knew better, and stayed put.

"Woah what the fuck?"  she heard the voice of the guy approaching, then Stan piped up

"Lower the crossbow dude, we ain't gonna hurt ya" Daryl refused to lower his 'bow. The stubborn fool.

"I'm just lookin' fer bolts" he grumbled at them. "Don't want no trouble. Just need some arras"

"You don't want no trouble, why ya hiding?" Alex couldn't tell who was who, only Daryl. Dea,r sweet, stupid bastard, Daryl.

"There's four a you. I'm on my own. Don't want no shit, just Bolts, there ain't none."

"Lower the crossbow"

"Lower ya gun"

"You gave me a start's all" Alex heard a soft sliding, a gun being holstered. "C'mon now, I lowered the gun" She watched, dumbfounded, as Daryl lowered his weapon.  "you gotta place to stay?" Daryl waited a beat before answering

"Nah, I drift, always have, you know?" His finger, Alex saw, was still near the trigger of the crossbow.  Stan and his cronie must have nodded. She sure didn't hear any words, but Daryl relaxed a little.

"right, ok. That your Buick?"

"Do I look like I drive a Buick?" Laughter. Jesus, they were laughing... _with_ him.

"Alright fella, we was just leaving, anyhow." she heard footsteps, Stan coming around to the right, God bless him, and his friend backing toward the door.

She closed her eyes as Daryl turned to watch them leave. She could just make out 'Shit, did you see the look in that fucker's eyes?' She smiled, the voices drifted in to the distance, out of the door. A car started soon after, and they drove away.

Daryl sat down next to her and threw his head back.

"You and ya goddamn boots!" Alex sniggered at him.


	16. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting ready to leave the shop, hoping to get to Alexandria without too many more surprises, Daryl and Alex are shocked to bump into some old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini Chapter. I was missing these guys :)

"No Frigging Way"

 

Alex looked up at the voice, stunned to hear even more people. Aaron said it was safe.

She was cute, short, young. Her dark hair appeared unsure if it wanted to reach her shoulders or not. Her dark eyes were wide, innocent, framed by dark lashes and even darker brows.

The stranger was staring at Daryl, almost gormless. Alex looked at Daryl, and back at the girl. I t was then she heard a deep roar saying:

"Well shut my goddamned mouth" She looked to the left of the girl and noticed his ginger hair first, then his muscular stature, his aggressive stance. And then, his sidekick, the Mullet wearing Texan with more between his ears than half the people she'd met put together.

"Abraham?" Daryl and the initial stranger shot Alex a look. She smiled "What happened to Washington?" She walked around the mounted deer and over to the shop door. She was shaking her head in disbelief.

Daryl was beside her in a single step.

"It was a bust" Alex turned and Rosita appeared behind Abraham "Just like everything else Eugene suggested. It was a farce. Overrun, impossible to penetrate." Eugene's face reddened, but he stood stoic. Alex smiled at him and his skin darkened from Rose to Merlot.

"How?" Daryl asked, looking at Alex, but asking everyone. Alex shrugged

"I was alone a long time, I met a lot of people" she looked at Abraham "I told you it was crap" she said pointedly

"Excuse me if I don't Hi Five you in celebration" Abraham retorted. Daryl rubbed at his mouth, and turned as he heard Aaron appear behind him

"Hi" he said Jovially "My name is Aaron, May I join the reunion?" 


	17. World's getting smaller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I like it here"  
> Alex, and the whole of Alexandria, watches as Rick loses his mind, and discovers something she didn't know about Daryl

"You're Rick's sister?" Tara said again. "From England. Like... That's crazy" Alex nodded. She knew this was going to be a low level of conversation the minute Tara insisted she jump in with her, Daryl and Aaron. Alex nodded along politely. "It's amazing, Glenn and Maggie, you and Rick, you and Abraham, them and Abraham" Alex smiled

"World's getting smaller." Tara nodded enthusiastically and touched Alex's knee

"Oh my god. Yes. That. Exactly that" Alex moved her knee away from Tara and gave her a warning look.

"I don't like to be touched" she said pointedly

"Oh. No. Right. That's cool. Fist bump?" Tara held out her fist and Alex rolled her eyes. Really? Was this girl five? She looked at Tara's fist and lightly tapped it with her own. "So, Alexandria, huh? Tell me about it" Alex was more than thankful that Aaron interrupted. He took her through the interviews, the houses. Daryl commented that Rick would probably want them to stay together.

"We've been split up too many times"

"So, why didn't you stick with Abraham and Rosita?" Tara was asking. Alex shrugged, But Tara persisted "I mean, Eugene was so convincing and Abraham would have killed anyone who got in the way"

"I didn't believe it" Alex said simply. "Didn't buy it" Tara nodded.

"Wow. You must be the only one. When we found out he had made it up Abraham just about knocked him out cold" Alex nodded. She could believe that.

"I had my own mission. Just so happens it brought me to Rick, and everyone. He never mentioned you guys." She stopped herself "you know, not to me"

 

As they handed in their weapons Aaron mentioned Deanna's loss, and suggested she may want to see them in a day or two. "In the meantime, please, make yourselves comfortable"

Daryl stood with one hand on the strap of his crossbow. With the other he lot a cigarette. He gestured with his head for Alex to come to him.

"How's the boots?" Alex smiled

"Great!"

"They wanna be. I'ma work on that bike Aaron and Eric gave me. Wanna come?" Alex shrugged. They were walking through the town now.

"Doesn't sound very interesting." She turned to him and he smiled at her

"You help me out, I'll take Ya fora ride" Alex raised an eyebrow at him, opened her mouth to agree-with some innuendo thrown in- when from Jessie and Petes house there was an almighty crash. They both turned to look and saw Pete lying on the porch. Rick jumped out of the window after him, Jessie ran out of the front door, Alex looked at Daryl and instinctively he shuffled her backwards behind him. She didn't even bother to argue, she didn't even want to. She looked around, everyone was there, even Deanna came running down the street. Pete and Rick scuffled on the floor, choking, punching. Alex saw Jessie running into it, she tried to stop her but Daryl's hand shot out again, holding her back, she tried to move the other way but his fist closed on her arm and she yelped in pain from her blisters, but he didn't let go. Jessie flew across the Tarmac, though Alex hadn't seen what had happened. Then Carl was running forward, Alex watched helplessly as her brother threw her nephew back on his arse, Rick blind to anything but Pete. Carl got up and took a few steps backwards, almost in to Daryl.

"Ok?" Daryl asked, and Carl just nodded absently. Watching helpless as his dad clearly lost his mind.

"Stop!" Alex heard Deanna yell "Stop it. Right now" Alex unwound herself from Daryl's grip and grabbed Carl by the shoulders.

"You ok buddy?" He nodded, but leaned into her. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close to her, they both faced Deanna that way, Carl's heart was pounding away in his chest. He was petrified.

When she focused on the scene unfolding before them again, Michonne was rushing forward. She smacked Rick in the head, knocking him out cold. His colt went flying and she picked it up. Alex turned away, letting go of Carl and looking to Daryl.

"Your bike, then?" Daryl gave a grave nod and led the way. As they left Alex turned to Carl. "I'll be at Aaron's if you need me, ok? If you can't find Michonne you know where I am" he nodded sombrely and she smiled at him, following Daryl away from the mess Rick had left in his wake.

 

The garage was an absolute tip.

"For a gay guy he's not very neat" Daryl let out a small puff of air, Alex looked at him sharply "what?" He shrugged and began gathering tools. She watched a moment or two, then sat on the floor. "What's going to happen to Rick?" She asked, more to herself than Daryl. He wouldn't know more than anyone in their group would. She looked up at Daryl as he walked past, a spanner in one hand, a motorbike wheel in the other. "I told you it would end in tears" she tucked stray hairs behind her ear and crossed her legs out in front of her, leaning back on her hands. Daryl stood in front of her, hands now empty.

"You ever shut up?" Alex looked up at him, straightened and pulled her legs in.

"You're a good listener" he shook his head

"I ain't listenin" Alex stood up

"You are. Always. You look like you aren't, you act like you aren't, but you are. You take in all the information you can and form decisions about people." Daryl turned away and busied himself with bike parts. Alex walked slowly around the garage, running her finger along everything she came across. The wall, a tool box, a hosepipe wound around an old car wheel. "And you observe." She continued suddenly "you see... Everything" she shrugged though he wasn't looking.

"What's Ya point?" His voice was rough, aggressive. Alex sauntered up behind him, snaked her arms around his waist

"We're the same" she whispered "I see, I hear, I know." She felt Daryl stiffen against her touch

"What d'ya know?" His voice was softer, quiet, almost matching her whisper. In an instant the mood changed, the air in the garage sparked with their chemistry.

"I know Tara has the hots for me, and I know that makes you strangely proud. I knew, the second she rested her soft, warm, hand on my thigh that I could have her if I wanted, and I know that makes you horny, that I could get whomever I want, but I choose you" she pressed her chest against his back and ran her hands slowly, up and down his torso. She traced the buttons of his shirt, before lifting the hem and running her finger tips along his bare skin "I'm all yours" she whispered as she did so.

He emitted a low growl before spinning to face her. He grabbed her by the arms and she resisted the urge to yelp in pain. He dragged her forward and pressed his lips against hers hard. His stubble raked against her skin and she melted into the sheer strength and manliness of him. He pushed her away, rather than pulling away himself and looked her over.

"Mine" he grunted, her arms still tight in his fists. He pulled her forward again and buried his face in her neck, Kissing, biting, scraping. She threw her head back to give him better access and a small moan escaped her. It spurred him on, and as he reached the area where her shoulder and neck met he sucked, hard, through his teeth, leaving a lovebite. Then his lips were on hers again, he forced her mouth open with his and explored her tongue, she tried to move forward, move against him, but his grip was tight, his arms solid. Her blisters were screaming but she didn't much care. She'd pay for it later, but this was worth it. Daryl was worth it. A knock at the door interrupted them, and Daryl pulled away from her, dropping her arms, leaving handprints behind on her tshirt. As the door opened Alex's hand flew to her neck, to cover the hickey Daryl had left. Daryl turned away from Alex, and the door, as Aaron poked his head in.

"I thought you guys should know," he said apologetically "Deanna's called a town meeting, tomorrow night. To discuss Rick" Without thinking Alex dropped her hands to her sides. Aaron's gaze skipped over her neck, and down her arms to the dirty handprints left behind. "Erm, well." He hurried on "I can recruit on my own if need be" Daryl turned to him then

"Naw, ain't for us to decide if Rick stays or goes. We'll come With Ya" Alex looked at Daryl, astounded, but his back was to her,

"Daryl?!"

"I ain't his baby sitter. I like it here. He wants to do this his way, fair'nuff, I ain't got no part in that." Aaron left the room without a word. Alex had only been with them a month, maybe less, but she knew how tight they were.

Were.

"Daryl?" She touched his shoulder, "Rick's your brother. Your kin" he span around, cut her off, and grabbed her arms again. It was altogether different though, there was no passion in him now, just a raw rage.

"He is YOUR brother, he is YOUR kin! I ain't like him, he wants ta make stupid mistakes and rash decisions he can do it without me" he let her go and stood back "you wanout, you wanna leave, that's fine, go traipsin round the country with a man on edge. Go ahead. We were gonna do this the right way, now he's ruined it. We coulda made a life here" he shrugged, turned back to the bike.

Alex sank to the floor where she stood, pain roaring up her arms from the burns, the blisters undoubtedly burst now. She wondered how long infection would take to set in now the wounds were open.

She should have stayed outside

She should never have come back here.

She'd done it again. Ruined everything.

A sob escaped her, much to her surprise. She hung her head and cried, quietly, as Daryl worked around her. He looked over a couple of times, she noticed, but she didn't acknowledge him. He worked away, unsure how to Comfort her. Not entirely sure why she was crying.

Eventually she got up and left the garage. The streets were eerily quiet, there was blood in the road where Pete and Rick had fought. She wandered aimlessly a while, then headed to the house. It was empty. She ran to her room, grabbed her things, threw extra stuff in her bag. Clothes, cling film for her burns, a poncho Daryl had made, and left on the floor. She threw her bag across her body, and descended the stairs two at a time. She reached for the doorknob without a single glance behind her. She'd made her decision.

As she walked on to the porch she wasn't surprised to see Daryl standing on the pavement outside.

"Popping out" she said as she tried to pass him "I," she sighed "see you later, ok?" She headed for the gate at a trot, but Daryl was hot on her heels. As she reached for the lever which opened the gate his hand was on it already.

"Alex" she looked at him. "You didn't do this. This is all Rick. Classic Rick. Must be a family thing, rash decisions" he looked her up and down, she pulled her hand away from the gate and re adjusted her bag.

"I did this" she folded her arms "I brought you here and now your loyalties have changed. I did that. It's on me." He was shaking his head

"Nah. You don't run away anymore." He took his hand off the gate and gestured to her "you'll try, might even make it a way off. But I'll find you" he rubbed his mouth "ain't nothin for Ya to be ashamed of. Y'ain't done nothin wrong. I know you ain't gonna believe that from me, I know. But you ain't. Ya didn't kill Aiden. Ya didn't throw Pete through a window, you didn't even cause the blisters on Ya own arms to bust" she looked at her sleeves, they were sodden with her own white blood cells. "This ain't on you. Why you tryin to take so much responsibility?" Alex shrugged

"It's what I do" but Daryl shook his head and pointed at her "You ain't gotta. You ain't. You c'n stay, you c'n carry on innocent as Ya like, cause ain't none of this your fault"

"Someone needs" she started, but Daryl cut her off

"Ain't gotta be you, girl. Should be Rick but he's lost in his own head right now. Maybe Michonne or Carol can take charge." He shrugged "Y'aint much of a leader anyways" he stepped in closer to her, close enough that she could feel the heat coming off his skin "ya wanna run, S'fine. I'll give Ya head start." He smiled his small smile "but you ain't gotta, I want Ya ta stay. M'bikes almost done. We'll go out together, run her in. Maybe we run out of fuel and have to spend the night outside" How did he know exactly what to say?

"Why do you care if I go or if I stay? Why do you get to look out for me all the time?" She tilted her head at him.

"You know why." She nodded "I guess. How long before the motorbike's ready?" Daryl shrugged

"Couple hours. We can be outta here by nightfall" Alex turned from the gate, and Daryl relaxed a little.

"How do you know what I need?"

"Observation. Listenin'" he gave a small smile and Alex playfully punched his arm. They went their separate ways, Alex Promising to 'stay put' until Daryl came to find her.


End file.
